I would really appreciate it. My wife and I are recovering from her affair 9 months ago. We have a new baby boy (3 weeks) (yes, we had a test to determine parentage), and a 2 year old daughter. I am consumed by making our relationship work. She says she is happy now and that our love is forever.<P>I'm really afraid that this crystal ball will shatter -- that we will end up where we were before. I'm afraid she is telling me that everything is OK when it's not. I'm afraid of losing myself to her only to be hurt again.<P>I have tried to be strong, and think I have succeeded very well. The OM loves her and would be with her if he could. She has broken contact with him, but he still tries to get ahold of her at random times (last week being the latest).<P>I can't tell if she's just tired from the children, but sometimes that spark in her voice isn't there and it scares me. She tells me everything is OK. Pray for me that it is, and that I'll be able to let go of these demons that have haunted me since September 7th of last year.<P>Thanks!

Openheart, you need to let it go and give it all to God. I know thats eaiser said than done, but ya got to do it or you will end up back in the same place. Your wife not only needs you to trust her, but she needs you to Trust God also. Ask God to love her thru your heart and allow God to build your marriage. When we build, we fail. When God builds, it stands againts anything. I pray that the Lord leads you by his holy spirit into all truth and gives you His strenth and peace to forgive compleatly and trust God fully. May God put to shame the man that is pursueing your wife and bring Him so low, he will turn his life to the Lord.(pray for your enemies)You can trust God will judge that man. Pray God has mercy on Him it will do your soul good and that man will need it. What helped me with my wifes unfaithfulness was hearing God say that ive been unfaithful to Him many many times in my life and He accepted me back with open arms always when i turned back to Him. Spend time alone with God, thats were we find peace and strenth. Commit your marriage into Gods hands, everyday if you have to. God works out all things good and bad for those that love him. In Jesus Name, Amen<BR>Mark

Openheart,<P>You have got several things going on here and you must let God handle them. Restoration is hard. Please seek God for all answers. Please go to this site. This is were I learned God's word and will for marriage and restoration. <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>Keep coming here for encouragement and prayers. <BR>Hang on and believe that all things are possible with God.<BR>You are in our prayers. <P>Have faith.<BR>gentle<BR>

Just be there for her. She is probably exhausted from caring for two babies. I can remember no sleep with the little ones and it wears you down.

OpenHeart, <BR>When my dh first moved back home I felt as you do. I was so wary of everything he said and did. The Lord spoke to my heart several times, saying "Trust Me". Until I put all my trust in the Lord and focused on Him, I was in turmoil, just the way the enemy wanted me. God gave me peace, and has helped me overcome my fears and "what ifs". The Lord has my husband in His hands; know that He has your wife in His wonderful, caring hands too. <P>Heavenly Father, I thank You so much for healing OpenHeart's marriage. Thank You Father, for removing the OM in this situation, causing him to lose interest and leave. I give all glory and honor to You Lord, for only You are worthy. I praise Your Holy Name in the highest Lord. Father, I ask in Jesus' name that You will cover OpenHeart with Your great peace, the peace that passes all understanding. Lord, help him be the husband and father You want him to be, direct his paths and order his steps. Lord, You love him and his wife so very much; help OpenHeart's broken heart to heal. Thank You Lord for your comforting presence, In Jesus' name I ask these things, AMEN.<P>Your words are powerful OpenHeart. Speak only positive things about your marriage and wife, speak "as though" your marriage is already the way you want it. <P>Could I suggest a book that may be helpful to you? It is "If Only He Knew, Understanding Your Wife" by Gary Smalley. Also, if you haven't yet read Dr. Harley's book, Surviving An Affair, do so. <P>God bless you and your family,<BR>AW