My H just called and asked if he could come over tonite..I am asking all of you out there to please pray for our meeting. H has had an A and has been out of house for 10 months. Up until one week ago, he would call me and I would have to carry on a one sided conversation. And when H did say anything he would lie. H was a wonderful Christian..but the enemy has him tied up. Please pray God will be with both of us and the right things will be said. Please God to take the logs from his eyes and scales from his heart and the truth will come out. I have prayed so hard for H but asking God for his will to be done. God has blessed me during this terrible time..and I know He is working in my life. Please aske God to bring all the Prodigals home, and that they will see the truth to what they are doing to family and friends. I proclaim the truth in all our situations be known, and bondage from satan be let free. Only through our Lord Jesus Christ can this be done!!! PRAY PRAY <BR>KATHIE

I hope that your meeting went well last night. <P>Try not to look at what your husband has done. Do your best not to look and not to see, but to forgive completely. Sometimes I think God has a message for the spouse who waits and wants that spouse to be perfect. In my case, I could only see my pride after I found out about the A. Far better to have it happen and change than to stay locked in a position of no growth. I don't know if you are proud like me, but I was sure I was not the problem. Only after two months of the A did I realize, yes, I had not given the best example. I did not return evil with kindness, I complained, I criticized, I refused to do certain things out of rebellion... the list goes on.<P>Only now do I really catch the meaning of the splinter and the log. We have the logs. The others have splinters. We have to really humble ourselves to realize that. We are not walking in their shoes and maybe God gave us greater grace so He expects more from us.<P>I am in no way saying that A is ever justified. I just think that we have to put the situation in the Lord's hands and let Him judge. He asked us to simply love, no matter what the other person does. Again, the only way to love is to leave it in His hands, especially in these cases!<P>You have waited 10 painful months. I ask Jesus to bring your relationship to new heights and to hold you and protect you during your reconciliation, which will come.<P>God bless you.

TTH<P>Yes, I was so proud...thought I knew it all..until God started working in ME...The night before H called I asked God for a miracle..He gave it to me.. I read the book Boundaries by Cloud/Townsend..that opened my eyes and heart. Yes, it showed me how I needed to work on me..God pointed that out in this book (which is Bible based) I have read so many, many books relating to A and this one really grabbed my heart. Our night went well...I let him do all the talking..I listened, and this time I knew I wasn't always right. God has been so gracious in all of this. I don't know what anyone can go through separation/divorce without having a personal relationship with Christ. He has taken the log from my eyes, and now I am able to look at ME. Even tho I have been in so much pain for so many months..there have been wonderful blessings from God. I am able to see that now.<P>God Bless<BR>Kathie

Kathie, <P>It is a rough road. I still have so far to go - right when I think the road isn't so bad and it's pretty easy to follow - I get angry or depressed and I have to climb back uphill. Right now I am angry that my husband is so casual about when he is coming home - he feels he can just come and go according to his whim and whatever happens in his life. This traps me into staying in the house waiting because I want my daughter to spend as much time with him as possible. I want to have some rules and my husband bucks any sort of rules. It's really hard. Plus it hurts me that I am nothing to him so my pride interferes and I want to punish him. I don't want to be angry or proud though - it only makes things worse. This whole thing is really so hard, isn't it? I guess God needs to give me a LONG test because I am a tough case! ;-) <P>Maybe you are coming to the end of your road though. I hope so and I pray for you.<P>Jesus, we are gathered in your name on this forum. Please bring Kathie's husband home to her forever and open his eyes so he cherishes his wife who loved him enough to wait 10 months for him. Help him to cherish her as never before. Please help all those on this forum to have the patience, love and humility it takes to reach peace with You and with our spouses. Amen.

tryingtohope<P>I hear your cry....this is the hardest, most emotional, and hurtful times in our lives. After reading your post..this came to my mind. I have the done the same things you are doing now. Honey...stop!!!!! As long as you allow this kind of action from your H he will continue to dangle in front of you. I would set up a schedule to when he can see his child..and not in your home. As long as he knows he can come and go when ever he pleases..it gives him no incentive to move back home. Yes, I too have stayed home waiting for him to come over or to call. I was so afraid I would miss one phone call. Boy, did he have me right where he wanted me. H had the A but he is passive/agressive and would always turn the blame on me. There comes a time when one has had enough. (I would suggest you go over to <A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com" TARGET=_blank>www.divorcebusting.com</A> and see what some of the people over there are doing.) I stopped all of this and got a life for myself....he could see the change, and is closer to coming home. hang in there, get tough...God is going to test you, and make you stonger..ask what his will is and DO IT!!!<BR>Kathie