Well, been in Plan B now for a little over three months. H and I agreed to let him have the kids for Xmas and Thanksgiving this year...I decided to take a trip for Xmas, just thought getting away would do me good. But now I am one day from Thanksgiving aand I can feel the depression sitting in. My first Thanksgiving without my kids. The first one in several year where I have not prepared the food. I do have a couple of invites, but considering my "mental" state, not sure if I really want to be around a bunch of people. Anyone else out there alone for the holidays?? Anyone else out there feeling the way I am? Believe me, going to Plan B was the best thing at the time I could do. I am much better mentally than I was, I just think this holiday is setting me back a bit. <P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR>

sue,<P>There's no doubt that this time of the year is hardest for people in troubled marriages. It's OK for you to feel sad, and for you to be missing the kids. My first Thanksgiving after I discovered my wife's affair was horrible---we were very strained (it was only about a month afterwards), she was visiting him that Saturday, and my favorite aunt died the day before Thanksgiving. Talk about depression.<P>But you will survive. It sounds like your separation is going well, and you're gaining strength. That's good. Remember, the holidays might just be harder on your husband then they are on you...<P>Take care.

Sue: Is there a soup kitchen or shelter near you that might need some help? Doing some volunteer work might help ease some of the pain.

Sue-<P>I know it may be a difficult time for you but I still first and foremost want to wish you the opportunity for a Happy Thanksgiving. And obviously you are examining and looking at what "Happy" really means to you as Thanksgiving 1999 is about upon us.<P>As the other folks have said I believe they have much wisdom when they talk of the added difficulty the holidays bring when you are going through the rough times.<P>You are not alone. We all make our way the best way we can through the challenges an event like this forces into our lives and marriages. To tell you the truth I'm feeling very very sad sitting here replying to you as I think back to my situation with our Plan A lasting only 60 days and our Plan B lasting only 7 days and the sadness that durinig all this I was also celebrating the last Thnaksgiving with my Father that I would be able to. So, you will slide but make sure you are honest with yourself that it is a short term thing and not that you have someting greater to treat related to actual on ongoing depression.<P>One thing that I find sometimes works is helping others. From time to time I have to remind myself of the little children I've seen from my trips to the hospital in thelocal area for children that have cancer related disease.<P>You get put back into a different fram of mind when you see a 5 year old child, that has been in cancer treatment for the last 4 weeks, has no hair, cries a lot, is scared, tired, weak and feels like they have the flue from the time they get up in the morining until the time they go to bed.<P>Then when that same little person smiles at you and their eye light up it really helps you put the rough times you feel you have been going through in perspective.<P>But the real good is the great feeling you have knowing that the small toy you have given them and just talking with them about "Regular" things had helped just a little in making that day for them just a tiny bit better.<P>Best of luck to you this holiday season.<P>mrrlk

Thanks for the response...<BR>I know this is a temporary set back, I have actually been doing pretty well since I went to Plan B. It is just the realization that kids will be split, families will never be the same, and I caught a cold as well!! I am really trying to decide if I should be around folks, or am better off on my own. I enjoy being alone some, it is a nice escape from being, Mom, worker, wife(well that has been gone for a while) and take the day to concentrate on myself. <P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR>

Hi Sue,<P>You may be physically apart from "your" family. But there is another "family" that is only a few keystrokes away. You are not alone. There are many great people here to comfort you. We all feel the pain. We are all here for you. Don't forget that. <P>------------------<BR>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P><BR>