Since I am toying with the idea of writing a book, I thought it might be interesting to take an unofficial survey of the members of this forum. Since we all are basically in the same ship (too large a group to call it a boat) may as well compile some casual statistics. Anyone game? <BR> <BR> Please keep in mind that I do not do this for a living so some of the questions may not be worded well. I will try to make it simple, but recommend that you print the survey and simply type the question number and answer on your response. Or maybe the questionnaire can be pasted as <BR>part of your response and you can add your answers that way. Anyone who wants to add a <BR>question, feel free. If you are uncomfortable answering any of the questions, just don’t. <BR> <BR>Here goes.. <BR> <BR> 1. Betrayed person is... <BR> a. Husband <BR> b. Wife <BR> 2. Occupation of <BR> a. Betrayed Husband <BR> b. Betrayed Wife <BR> 3. Occupation of <BR> a. Betrayer Husband <BR> b. Betrayer Wife <BR> 4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR> a. Between 20 - 30 <BR> b. Between 30 - 40 <BR> c. Between 40 - 50 <BR> d. Over 50 <BR> 5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR> a. Between 20 -30 <BR> b. Between 30 - 40 <BR> c. Between 40 - 50 <BR> d. Over 50 <BR> 6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR> a. Between 1 - 5 years <BR> b. Between 5 - 10 years <BR> c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR> c. Over 20 years <BR> 7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR> a. one <BR> b. two <BR> c. three or more <BR> 8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR> 9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR> a. in marriage <BR> b. in life of Other Person <BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR> a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR> b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR> a. under 4 months <BR> b. 4 months to a year <BR> c. 1 to three years <BR> d. over 3 years <BR> <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR> a. Betrayer <BR> b. Betrayed spouse <BR> c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR> a. Betrayer <BR> b. Betrayed spouse <BR> c. Both <BR> d. neither <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR> a. yes <BR> b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR> a. affection <BR> b. sexual fulfillment <BR> c. conversation <BR> d. recreational companionship <BR> e. honesty and openness <BR> f. an attractive spouse <BR> g. financial support <BR> h. domestic support <BR> i. family commitment <BR> j. admiration <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR> a. affection <BR> b. sexual fulfillment <BR> c. conversation <BR> d. recreational companionship <BR> e. honesty and openness <BR> f. an attractive spouse <BR> g. financial support <BR> h. domestic support <BR> i. family commitment <BR> j. admiration <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR> a. affection <BR> b. sexual fulfillment <BR> c. conversation <BR> d. recreational companionship <BR> e. honesty and openness <BR> f. an attractive spouse <BR> g. financial support <BR> h. domestic support <BR> i. family commitment <BR> j. admiration <BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR> a. affection <BR> b. sexual fulfillment <BR> c. conversation <BR> d. recreational companionship <BR> e. honesty and openness <BR> f. an attractive spouse <BR> g. financial support <BR> h. domestic support <BR> i. family commitment <BR> j. admiration <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR> a. yes<BR> b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR> a. yes<BR> b. no<BR> <BR>I guess that about covers it. Can you think of anything else? <BR>Any additional comments welcome.<p>[This message has been edited by Pilot's wife (edited August 21, 1999).]

Since I thought this up, guess I should stick my neck out and go first. I just copied and pasted and then deleted the answers that did not apply to my situation.<P><BR>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of <P>b. Betrayed Wife Teacher<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband Pilot<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR>7. Number of known affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>b. two (one was a one nite stand)<BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage 3 <BR>b. in life of Other Person 2<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>c. 1 to three years <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>a. yes <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>h. domestic support <BR>j. admiration <P>Cannot narrrow it any further!!!!<P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? Not Applicable<BR> <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? Not Applicable<P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>h. domestic support <BR>j. admiration <P>That is as narrow as I can go with that one too.<P>I guess that about covers it. Can you think of anything else? <BR>Any additional comments welcome.<P><BR>Thought of two more!<P>29. Is betrayer currently living with Other Person.<BR> <BR> b. no<BR>30. Is other person married?<BR> a. yes<P> <BR>All times are CT (US) <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Pilot's wife (edited August 21, 1999).]

<BR>Here goes.. <P>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <P>2. Occupation of - unemployed<BR> <BR>b. Betrayed Wife <BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - Police Officer<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <P>b. Between 5 - 10 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one - but think that there were more<P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <P>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - 1<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>b. no <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <BR> <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>c. conversation <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>h. domestic support <P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>j. admiration <P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>g. financial support <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>j. admiration <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no

Add me your list -<P>1. b<BR>2. customer service <BR>3. electician<BR>4. c<BR>5. b<BR>6. b<BR>7. a<BR>8. b<BR>9. a -1<BR>10. a<BR>11. a - so far<BR>12. a<BR>13. now, yes<BR>14. b<BR>15. b<BR>16. a<BR>17. b<BR>18. b<BR>19. b<BR>20, a<BR>21. c<BR>22. b<BR>23. a<BR>24. b<BR>25. a,b,e<BR>26. n/a<BR>27. n/a<BR>28. b,d,j<BR>29. b<BR>30. b<P><BR>Hope this helps!<P>Lori

Hi Lori!<P>Welcome to our forum!<P>I have noticed your posts for the last couple of days. You have my sympathy for what you have gone through. But have patience and faith because time, always brings change.<P>If you don't get many replies, you might want to check out a post called Roll Call, Who are we? It is a survey a little like what you posted, just more informal.<P>Take Care-

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife<BR> <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife: Health Unit Coordinator<P>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband: Insurance/Financial Advising<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 -30 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage: 3<BR>b. in life of Other Person: 0<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>Still going on...living with OP<P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes <P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes...offered info,no questioning needed<P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no<BR> <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>a. yes <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>h. domestic support <BR>i. family commitment <P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>DOES NOT APPLY<P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>DOES NOT APPLY<P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>j. admiration <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>a. yes<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<BR><P>------------------<BR>Rachel :)<BR>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <P>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife-professional mother <P>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband-silicon valley executive<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <BR> <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>a. Between 1 - 5 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage-1, then 2<BR>b. in life of Other Person- 2 <P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>c. 1 to three years <P><BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>a. yes-at 3 separate jobs!-hired by betrayer at 2<P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes-betrayer away from family home, lived with OP<P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no<P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>b. no <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <BR> <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes-unbeknownst to the betrayed (betrayer just had good excuses not to come home)<P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no-but betrayer told OP that was the case<P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>i. family commitment <P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>g. financial support <BR>j. admiration <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<BR>

Pilot's wife -- I'll probably regret this later, but OK . . . <P>1. Betrayed person is... <BR> Husband <P>2. Occupation of Betrayed Husband <BR> Computer Support<P>3. Occupation of Betrayer Wife <BR> Business Associate<P>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR> Between 30 - 40 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR> Between 20 -30 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR> Between 1 - 5 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR> three or more - This include emotional/internet affairs<P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR> no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>in marriage <BR> 1<BR>in life of Other Person <BR> ??<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR> taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR> under 4 months <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR> yes - At the time anyway<P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR> no <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR> yes - The emotional/internet affairs anyway. She had made palns to meet at least one of the OM though.<BR> <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other Person? <BR> no<P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR> no <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR> no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR> yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> yes <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> yes <BR> <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR> Both <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR> Both <P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR> yes - Only to the extent that W and I were seperated at the time the affair took place.<BR> <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR> no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed wife? <P>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>c. conversation <BR>e. honesty and openness <P>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betraying wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>c. conversation <BR>e. honesty and openness <P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed husband? <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR> no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR> no - ?? <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Empty Shell (edited August 22, 1999).]

I don't have time to respond right now but I want to fix an answer of Empty Shell's. Betrayer wife's occupation is Bussiness Associate not support associate

Eight response do not statistics make...<BR>come on guys, it only takes a few min.<BR>thanks

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife - Executive Assistant<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - Software Development Director<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>a. Between 1 - 5 years (4 months really)<BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - 1 step (his)<BR>b. in life of Other Person - 2<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>b. 4 months to a year <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>a. yes<BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>d. recreational companionship <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>f. an attractive spouse <BR>h. domestic support <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? <BR>n/a<BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>n/a<BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<BR>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <P>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife - Housewife<P>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - Associate Pastor <BR> <BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 - 30 <P>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>a. Between 20 -30 <P>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <P>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <P>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <P>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage - 2<P>10. Betrayed person was <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <P>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>a. under 4 months <P>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <P>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no <P>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>a. yes - but relationship became sexual, through planned rendevouz<P>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <P>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <P>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <P>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <P>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <P>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>b. no <P>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>b. Betrayed spouse <P>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <P>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <P>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <P>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>a. affection <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>i. family commitment <P>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>f. an attractive spouse <P>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<P>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes - Has gotten divorce since affair<P>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife-homemaker & pt house cleaning professional <BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband-paper maker <BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>c. Between 40 - 50 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>b. Between 5 - 10 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>a. one <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR>a. in marriage-4 <BR>b. in life of Other Person-3 <BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>c. 1 to three years <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>a. yes <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>a. yes-she WAS a friend <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>a. yes <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes <BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>c. Both <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife?<BR>b. sexual fullfillment <BR>c. conversation <BR>i. family commitment <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? <BR>a. affection <BR>b. sexual fulfillment <BR>j. admiration <BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? N/A<BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? N/A<BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>a. yes<P>

1. Betrayed person is... <BR> a. Husband <BR>2. Occupation of <BR> a. Betrayed Husband<BR> Air Force<BR>3. Occupation of <BR> b. Betrayer Wife - Was retail sales, now painte/walpaperer with OM<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR> b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR> b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began<BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage.<BR>b. two <BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR> 9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) <BR> a. in marriage - 2<BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR> a. taken totally by surprise by evidence of affair <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>c. 1 to three years<BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR> a. yes - Now she does<BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR> a. yes - Now she does<BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR> b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR> Person? <BR> b. no <BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR> a. yes <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR> B - no<BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR> b. no <BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> b. no <BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR> b. Yes<BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR> b. Betrayed spouse <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR> b. Betrayed spouse<BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR> a. yes <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR> b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betrayed wife? <BR>N/A<BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage for the betraying wife? <BR>Unknown<BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR> for the betrayed husband? <BR> a. affection <BR> c. conversation <BR> d. recreational companionship <BR> j. admiration <BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR> a. yes<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR> b. no<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited August 23, 1999).]

I'll give it a shot......<BR>1. Betrayed person is... <BR>b. Wife <BR>2. Occupation of <BR>b. Betrayed Wife - Business Analyst<BR>3. Occupation of <BR>a. Betrayer Husband - Retail Manager<BR>4. Age of Betrayed Person at time of most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>5. Age of Betrayer at the time of the most recent affair <BR>b. Between 30 - 40 <BR>6. Number of years married when most recent affair began <BR>c. Between 10 - 20 years <BR>7. Number of know affairs Betrayer has had throughout marriage. <BR>c. three or more (Admitted to only one)<BR>8. Both partners in marriage have had a least one affair each. <BR>b. no <BR>9. Number of children involved (fill in blank) 2<BR>a. in marriage <BR>10. Betrayed person was <BR>b. suspicious due to spouses behavior <BR>11. Length of time most recent affair lasted <BR>b. 4 months to a year <BR>12. Does the Other Person work in same company as betrayer? <BR>b. no (Did at time affair began)<BR>13. Does the Other Person live in the same city as the betrayer? <BR>b. no <BR>14. Does the Other Person exist only in cyber space? <BR>b. no <BR>15, Was betrayer caught “red handed” ( in bed, by pictures or other physical evidence) with the Other <BR>Person? <BR>a. yes (With phone bills and overheard telephone conversations)<BR>16. Did betrayer reveal his/her affair voluntarily upon questioning by spouse? <BR>b. no <BR>17. Is the Other Person a friend (ex) or relative of the betrayed? <BR>b. no <BR>18. Is the affair over at this point beyond all reasonable doubt? <BR>b. no (He says it is/I have my doubts)<BR>19. Is the betrayer convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes (But sometimes I wonder)<BR>20. Is the betrayed spouse convincingly interested in saving the marriage? <BR>a. yes (But scared)<BR>21. Who has expressed willingness to accept blame for the troubles in the marriage? <BR>c. Both <BR>22. Who is willing to seek counseling or professional advise? <BR>d. neither <BR>23. Has the affair resulted in physical separation of the married couple? <BR>b. no <BR>24. Has the affair caused divorce to be filed by either partner? <BR>b. no <BR>25. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed wife? <BR>e. honesty and openness <BR>g. financial support <BR>i. family commitment <BR>26. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betrayed husband? NOT ANSWERED/DOESN'T APPLY<BR>27. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying wife? NOT ANSWERED/DOESN'T APPLY<BR>28. Of the top ten basic needs mentioned by Dr. H, select three that were not being met in the marriage <BR>for the betraying husband? I CANNOT ANSWER FOR HE WILL NOT TELL ME<BR>29. Is the betrayer currently living with the Other Person?<BR>b. no<BR>30. Is the other person married?<BR>b. no<P><BR>

1. Wife<BR>2. Homemaker<BR>3. Software Manager<BR>4. Between 30-40<BR>5. Between 30-40<BR>6. 10-20 years<BR>7. 2<BR>8. no<BR>9. In marriage - 2<BR>10. Taken totally by surprise<BR>11. 1-3 years<BR>12. no<BR>13. yes<BR>14. no<BR>15. no<BR>16. yes<BR>17. yes<BR>18. yes<BR>19. yes<BR>20. yes<BR>21. both<BR>22. betrayed spouse<BR>23. yes<BR>24. no<BR>25. affection, conversation, honesty & openess<BR>26. not applicable<BR>27. not applicable<BR>28. Don't know yet<BR>29. no<BR>30. yes

Slow but sure.<BR>Only 4 thousand to go.<BR>Will tally the survey this week-end.<BR>Thanks for your responses.

1. B<BR>2. Occ of betrayed wife - commercial banking sales OCC of betrayer H - Commercial construction project mgr

1. B<BR>2. Occ of betrayed wife - commercial banking sales OCC of betrayer H - Commercial construction project mgr

1. B<BR>2. Occ of betrayed wife - commercial banking sales<P>3. OCC of betrayer H - Commercial construction project manager<P>4. c <BR>5. c<BR>6. c<BR>7. a<BR>8. b<BR>9. a - 2<BR>b - don't know<BR>10. b<BR>11. b<BR>12. I don't know<BR>13. a<BR>14. b<BR>15. b<BR>16. a<BR>17. I don't know<BR>18. b<BR>19. b<BR>20. a<BR>21. c<BR>22. c<BR>23. b<BR>24. b (legally separated at this point)<BR>25. a,c,e<BR>26. na<BR>27. na<BR>28. Don't know. He doesn't know (??)<BR>29. b<BR>30. I don't know<P>