Maya,<P>Are you going in for your doctor's appointment next week? You're exhibiting behaviors here that have me worried about you (yet again...).<P>Your script for tomorrow is to take 2 giant slices of pumpkin pie and enjoy them without guilt.<P>But then please get to the docs.

Yeah, the appt. is still on for Monday at 12:00 noon.<P>K, I'm scaring myself. Really. The saving grace is that I'll be with my family this weekend .... I draw such strength and comfort from them!<P>Thanks for caring. I'm outta control, huh? My God, K, I'm hurting people's feelings, slamming, exhibiting D99 behavior (which has become textbook here) ... and I don't seem to care. That's NOT me.<P>I am scared.<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited November 24, 1999).]

Maya,<P>I can see that you're scared. You're not quite "out-of-control" yet, but you're exhibiting these mood swings that indicate a clinical depression. I'm glad that you're getting into the doc's next week---make sure that you discuss everything you're going through in detail with him/her so that you'll get an accurate diagnosis.<P>Let your family lift your spirits, and enjoy your Thanksgiving. And please remember to eat that pumpkin pie...

Maya:<P>Not much to add, just consider this a Support-O-Gram. I want to let you know that I’m thinking of you as well. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you, and for whatever it’s worth, you’re in my “prayers” as well (such as they are at this point... LOL ). <P>... and don’t you <B>DARE</B> cancel this appointment (read with stern voice and wagging finger... ). I actually thought it was for this PAST Monday... <BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

Thank you, Whodat. I promise not to cancel. I can't live like this any longer.<P>Please don't give up on "you know who" just because I have not been a good example. I'm just a little screwed up right now. But I do mean everything I've told you, okay?<BR>

Not to worry, Maya... I’ll not give up. I’m pretty much in “hold” mode right now, and I’m just going to let things happen as they may. I think I was trying too hard, and since just letting it happen got me to the point of our convos, I think that’s the proper way to go. <P>Mail coming your way, BTW...<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

Thank you so much, Whodat. You cannot imagine the pain I've felt because of our "convos" and the end result.<P>Anxiously awaiting mail!

Maya,<P>I wrote on TL's post to you, but then figured you might not go back there... so...<P>want you to know that I care, and I'm so sorry for your pain...<P>Holidays, shorter days... and then this infidelity thing all add up to some major mood changes, especially if we're prone to them - I AM. I'm on Xanax right now, since anxiety seems to be my bugaboo this time around. Thing is, I've spent the last three Christmas's on Prozac and in counseling... no shame there, sweetie...<P>Take care!!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

Thanks, Sheryl. I'm so ashamed at the monster I've become ....<P>How ugly I look to the "newcomers" here. This just isn't me.

Hi, Maya,<P>Jumping on the Support-O-Gram wagon. I *do* understand the feeling of being scared by my own behavior & inability to get it under control. And you're right... it's NOT "you". Proper meds will help get "you" back. As K said ('scuse me, *DR.* K! ), be honest with your doc - don't sugarcoat how you're feeling. We all have a tendency to put our best face forward & minimize things... this is not the time! You *will* get through this scary time... and it is such a relief to realize you're beginning to feel like your self again (instead of like your Evil Twin ).<P>Enjoy that pie.... <P>Suse

Maya - I wanna jump in here too.<P>I haven't seen a monster in you at all during all these months. But I really AM glad you're gonna see the doctor. You really don't need to suffer like this.<P>Hang in there. Relief WILL come.<P>And have a GREAT Thanksgiving!<P>Lori

What Suse said. <P>This is NOT the time to be “strong,” and tell the doc, “Oh... it’ll work out!” Be straight with him/her.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

THANKS SO MUCH, GUYS!!!!<P>I really appreciate you all so much.<P>Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will be giving a progress report on Tuesday regarding the counselor's appt. I'll probably send HER into a depression.

From one depressed soul in serious need of meds to another - I'm praying for you and your family.<P>Here's to a upcoming zofloft drip!<P>SHA

Maya,<P>I don't know much about your situation, but from one human being to another....i wish you peace and happines.

Maya: Last person you wanted to here from but...<P>This is what I'm talking about!!! Your replies in this post are what I'm more used to, the replies in some of the others I'm not.<P>I understand that you have mood swings, but I don't understand the mood swings themselves. I've never had to deal with them as you are and I guess I should be thankful. I do understand the depression though, I actually attempted suicide back in my teen years. <P>Perhaps, even in our misunderstanding, I have learned something or at least I am trying to understand.<P>Forgive me if I have insulted or offended you. You know, I forgot about your appt. Good luck with that. <P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

I'm sorry, Paul. I just get "gripped" by this hatred/uncaring/vicious mood and my tolerance/patience/understanding just FLIES out the door ....<P>It's NOT me, Paul. This is not what I really am. I'm just so screwed up.<P>Thanks for caring.

Well, I suppose All of us are screwed up, maybe in slightly different ways. Else why would we be here.<P>....Oh CRAP! I forgot, I'm not supposed to respond to Maya anymore.<P>What will Isaac say..... <P>Oh yeah. Happy T-day everyone. Eat lots of turkey. It has a sedative effect, you know, and we could probably all use a little of that!<p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited November 24, 1999).]

LOL!<P>Happy Thanksgiving, Douglas!<BR>

You too, kiddo!<P>And to all you other holiday travelers out there: Keep the shiny side up and the dull side down. Make sure your family is STILL thankful AFTER the holiday!<P>Caio,<BR>Doug