My wife and I have restarted our marriage after my discovery of her long term affair. I didn't really suspect a thing until sometime after this past November, when I finally and truly gave my heart to Christ. I felt led to pray mainly for strength and for my family, with specific emphasis on my wife, since that time. For Valentine's Day I bought her a Mother's Bible and a pretty notepad which she's been using to take notes in church. God has been working on us together.<P>Two Sundays ago's service was the first since the affair has come to light (she agreed to break it off completely). She had spoken to the pastor of our church in the hopes of seeing him a couple days before that service. He was unable and my wife was greatly disappointed (as was I). I was afraid of what the service would hold for my wife. The youth pastor ended up giving the sermon and, rather than a slap as my wife expected, the sermon was a gentle hug, calling for reconciliation (yes, I believe the speaker and message were chosen by God for my wife). Praise God!<P>The Mother's Day service yesterday was not so gentle and also seemed to be directed towards her. I could feel her demeanor changing as she took direct hits. When the time of prayer came and there was a call to the altar my wife stood firm. There was a second call and she resisted that one as well. I was praying for God to soften her heart and help her to respond to the call. After the benediction she grabbed her stuff and raced out of the sanctuary. I was heartbroken. While I am personally very hurt at the thought of her affair I am more afraid that she risks her soul. I cannot stand the thought of her suffering.<P>Please, take the time to say a prayer for her. A prayer of comfort, a softening of her heart, a yearning for higher things, a lightening of her load, a genuine peace as only found through Jesus, etc.<P>I thank God for the time He spent preparing me for the news of this turmoil in my marriage. I have, unbelievably, been able to forgive her from the very start. It is only through His strength and grace that this is possible. I truly believe that, had I given my heart and my sins/addictions to him years ago this affair would not have lasted (or, had I been right in the first place it would not have started). Of course, I am just a man. I have been going through depression - sleepless nights, I've lost over 10 pounds in a week, etc. Still, God's strength helps me to carry on.<P>Thanks for your support,<P>Roy

I am glad that you are both in your marriage. I can't say that about mine. My wife is SO DONE with it now. It hurts, and my prayers are not working the way I need them to. I am still trying, but...anyway, I wanted to give you another angle:<BR> Maybe she is feeling guilty. Look, Mother's Day sermons are more generic than you think. If God admonishes us, we should turn to, not away. When I see my sins in the Homily at Church, I do take it personally. That's why they are sins, but really...that sermon was not just for your wife, and even if it was, it wouldn't make it wrong, or hurtful. The sin is what makes you feel bad. God's and your forgiveness, and her own will help heal it, but denial and shame will not. Help her, friend...she needs you more than ever now. SOFTEN your heart. You think it is now? Make it liquid, brother. Let God's love shine through you like a beacon. Don't judge. ACCEPT and LOVE. I am sending my love out to you all now. Just let it flow through you, like a gentle breeze through the trees. Feel the sun on your face...that is God's love. I AM PRAYING FOR YOU BOTH. Be healed...let it happen. Make it happen. God Bless you...be Hosea, go to Gomer, and heal her pain. Be strong and loving.

Your wife is doing well if she is going to church. Except for Paul, most of us have long, ongoing conversions that take a lot of thought, prayer and effort. I think she's doing great and I wouldn't push her at all. Just let her feel your love.<P>

Waiting_for_her - thanks for the reply. I'm saddened to hear of your situation. I will keep you in prayer. Thanks for the support!<P>Tryingtohope - thanks for the encouragement! It it hard to fathom, in my limited ways, the patience and grace that God possesses. I'm definitely trying to avoid pushing or pressuring her (turning her off in the process). We had a great day together yesterday. I just need to remember to take it one day at a time. Thank God for his faithfulness!

Be patient with her brother. Sometimes we forget how unfaithful we have been to God many times. Unforgiveness and unfaithfulness are just as ugly as the other. Ask God to love her thru you. She needs to see the Love of Christ in you and thats a patient lonsuffering counting no wrongs kinda a love. Read 1 cor 13. Read Hosea 1-3 , it will make you feel blessed. I married Gomer. Shes still running, but im trusting God to someday bring my wife back home. Its been 3 years so far. <BR>Mark

Tomorrow will be 'D' day, unless I get an intervention. I put specifics in my Divorced/Divorcing thread called New Beginnings, so I won't mess up yours repeating myself. Lostpup, I didn't marry Gomer, but my STBX is going that way...well, the last few days she seems to be getting a reality check. Anyway, how unfortunate for you, but you will be strong and you will pass this test. I am praying for you, and your wife. This boat sure is crowded, ain't it? Take care and be strong, both of you. We need to help God with His plan by remaining faithful to our marriages. I pray constantly for the restoration of our marriages. God Bless.

Amen, waiting for her. The only reason my wife hasnt divorced me is , she always spent the money on dope. Oh, i also told her i would stand in front of a judge and tell him that i dont think her using dope and me not liking it was a very good reason for divorce. She could of justified it by her unfaithfulness, but i wasnt the one that wanted the divorce. We are seeing each other again (3years seperated) and she is 7 months clean and sober, but she is also mentaaly ill and our families are still againts us getting back together and she cant handle their pressure and im getting to the point where its almost unbearable for me too. still i press on as we all should. Only God can help. I hope and pray i can make it thru all this hell. Cause if i can make it, anybody can make it.<BR>Mark