Oh, it's been so good to visit MB and read and respond and just be on here uninterrupted w total privacy. I love the rare moments when I get to be home alone <P>We do need your prayers as H is going to resign Tuesday morning. We are not sure how merciful our denomination will be. One of two things will happen. The resignation will be totally ignored and unacknowledged. (We are non-existent entities presently in our opinion) Or there will be swift action to kick us out of the manse.<P>also our old church needs prayer as I have this awful feeling the new pastors are going to say no to coming here. And weirdness of all wonders, we were to be transferred to Eastern Canada which would mean being home for me--we were to live in the manse my parents (who retire July 1) presently reside in!!! So my parents need prayer as they try to deal with our resignation and decision to remain in this Western city.<P>The resignation will likely be slightly acknowledged as someone must replace our posting to the East. It was a lovely appointment--exactly what we wanted but we have prayed long and hard as some of you know and feel peace that God has a new venture for us here.<P>anyway, the GRATEFULNESS stuff now!! I have decided to pursue my wildest dream and am faxing a resume tonight for a job that would be the perfect training ground for us. God is working in our family. He is providing borrowed and used sticks of furniture for us. He helped provide the deposit for the condo we will rent. H is hurting about not being in ministry but today was invited to serve communion and the pastors really want us to be on the ministry team (voluntarily). Some great job ops are coming for H and I need prayer that I will receive interviews. <P>I need to get out of the manse as I was involved with OM in this house as beautiful as it is. H and 14 (daughter) want to stay till end of June-we get the condo on June 1. <P>But God is so incredible. I feel the joy of the Lord pouring in and know undoubtedly the Holy Spirit is cleaning out the junk. God is good and I am so grateful to have H who forgave me and friends and family who love me. I am rejoicing that healing is coming even though definitely the roller coaster ride continues.<P>H led our family in a group hug the other night..we never do this. It was the coolest!!! Little moments of joy like that happen more often.<P>THANK YOU so very much for your prayers. They are helping. Woooooohoooo!!! Praise Him! My deliverer...a pastor gave me a verse from 2 Samuel 22 (hope reference is right) where it is mentioned that God delivered the one in trouble because of His love for him. That He DELIGHTED in his servant. Wow! How could the Father delight in me? But He does and my sin is tossed into the Sea of His Forgetfulness. Mercy overflowing....I just can't thank Him and you enough <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

Dear sister, you truly are a testimony of the wonderful grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. I praise God for the encouragment of seeing hearts changed, forgivness and restoration. May God richly bless you in the direction He is taking you and your husband. May the Lord be glorified.<BR>Mark

My evening was even better than the day yesterday. I feel like God's love is bubbling like a brook and overflowing inside and spilling outside! <P>I've been praying God will heal me of chronic depression and surrendering my anger and bitterness..even hatred...to Him and asking Him to replace the junk with joy and His indwelling. It's like 6:40 am here as I write and I am PUMPED! I could be back here tomorrow crying as although I am angry at my church, I belonged all my life and it allowed me many unique opportunities and privileges and helped me find friends all across Canada and was the vehicle through which my writing got published--once in the States and once in a worldwide publication and lots in Canada. I have so much to thank Him for.<P>I know we have to be realistic but this kinda reality is AWESOME! I'm savoring every moment while it lasts. Now as I look at my H, I appreciate his true worth on a much deeper level. Thoughts of OM are fading away and easily dismissed now. My kids are cheering up. I just wanna dance and cheer from the rooftops. I guess after feeling so bad, a good feeling is intensified. Thank You, Jesus!!<P>Thank you, Mark. I was reading some of your posts yesterday and you also are in my prayers.<P>Blessings, buddy

FS,<P>It is good to see you feeling so well. It does sound as if things are starting to turn for you, H, and your children. I hope and pray that this continues for you.<P>I have read a few of your posts as I couldn't find where you were posting. I was wondering how your H's health is doing? Did already have his final treatment? I hope all is well.<P>Do come post over in the other sections from time to time, your wisdom and advice is needed.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

I am so glad you are finally having some breakthroughs. We all need God's mercy and it sure does feel good, doesn't it? When He is with you, who can be against you?<P>I wish you all the best.

JustLearning and Tryingtohope--thank you for your kind words.<P>JL...I have mostly been posting replies to others. When I have the opportunity, I try to respond to others' questions. I still feel nervous that maybe I have wrong answers but I risk writing as it is helpful to feel free to share my experiences and hopefully encourage someone.<BR>but with my limited time on MB these days, I don't always keep up with responses.<P>I have been really busy putting out resumes and looking for rentals, etc. <P>H and I just each wrote our resignation letters tonight. It was harder than I thought. For me the pain and anger welled up and that of course meant tears but yet the joy remains. Many of our friends are reaching out with the 11th hour cries not to become homeless, destitute fools but I really think my buoyant joy is in large part connected to leaving my church. We spent the day with our new pastors who just can't seem to love on us enough--it's kind of mutual. 14 and 11 are the same ages as their two of three children. <P>No, H's treatment has not come. He saw the oncologist early in May and told him what is going on. Doc said H is going through enough and although he should have a radioiodine treatment in August, he asked H to come back in Sept to set up. He felt with H seeking a new job a summer treatment would interfere. A hurt I need to surrender is our boss telling H that his cancer is his own problem.<P>I know God will provide the work. I just hope it's tomorrow or Wednesday for at least one of us. I am fairly confident I have one in the bag but it's limited hours to my knowledge. Which is kind of OK as I would be free to accept other interviews if they come. I really want the one I faxed for last night (after sundown ) <P>JL, you are right I need to visit the other posts with updates. I wrote skm today as I miss her so much and am curious how things are going for her.<P>I think in one of these prayer requests I shared how the miracle of the support of 15,000 prayer warriors came about for 3 weeks during April. At the time, I wondered if their prayers were heard much (sorry, God!) but now I KNOW not only theirs but my other family/friends and peers here also stormed the forts. <P>I think I will find myself stepping to a new level with leaving the manse, too. <P>Thanks for your friendship, concern, prayers and support.<P>Blessings! <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start