Our OD is (teenager) is having very difficult times right now; acting out - rage, anger, not making good choices. Please pray that we can get her the help she so desperately needs. Also, her behavior is putting a strain on rest of family - other daughter is feeling the pain, and putting stress on our already stressed marriage. I hope we can survive this. We are in recovery and have been doing well lately, yet I fear this may cause a setback, etc. We are at a loss as to what to do - we need to give it up to God and pray for His guidance, love, and wisdom. We need His help.

Let her know how much she is loved and that there is nothing she can do to take away that love. Unconditional love is so important to all of us. I don't know what she is raging about but emotions are so strong in the teens. Everything they do is emotionally charged. <P>The Lord is watching over your family. Trust Him and pray.

Dear TTH,<BR>Thank you so much for your response and prayers - she is angry about everything, esp. her Dad's A...<BR>She needs so much help,<BR>Thank you, God bless,<BR>S

I can relate to what you are going through. Our son, the younger of the two, has made some terrible choices. I too have had the fear that he will cause a strain on our marriage. We've just had to pull together and not let him turn one against the other. I will pray for you. My son, too, has a lot of rage. I asked what he felt the problem was and he could only say "I wish I knew". He is getting some counseling. Don't know how long he will go. I hope your daughter will also.

Can you try to write her letters sometimes? This way you won't have to hear her negate what you're trying to say and you can pick the right words. Even if today she doesn't turn around, she will always remember the letters and she will turn around with your love and prayers. (Do you know the story of St. Augustine? He was a real lady's man, frivolous, anti-religious and his mom prayed for his conversion for 20 years. He ended up being one of the greatest theologians and influenced thousands of people to convert to the Lord.) <P>There is a great book called The 5 Languages of Love. It's very similar to the books of this site. It talks about how we express love in 5 major ways: Touch, gift-giving, quality time together, acts of service, and words of praise and encouragement. Each of us has a favorite way of receiving love and if we don't receive love in the way we want it, we don't feel loved. Yet each of us also tends to give love in the way we want to receive it but not necessarily in the way the other person can feel loved.<P>For example, if your daughter feels loved when she gets quality time, and you feel loved when you receive acts of service, you might try to show her your love by doing lots of favors for her or cooking special meals but she wouldn't feel loved that way. She would want you to put everything down and give her your undivided attention. <P>The book's message is kind of a refinement of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as THEY would have it done unto them.<P>Think of it like getting a drill from your husband for your birthday. Sure, the thought is sort of there but it's off target. We need to show love in a way that the other person can feel it. So we need to understand what is important to that person.<P>I don't think you will agree with your daughter about the rage she feels but it's important to understand that her feelings are real to her and she's not exaggerating. She might be really sensitive and this will be a good thing once she feels better about herself. She may feel bad about herself if she feels her dad left her somehow. Or maybe she is just having a hard time - feeling left out, weird or different, ugly, fat, uncool, poor... one or all of the things which are miserable to feel when you are in high school.<P>If she has friends, it would be good for you to know them and make them feel welcome in your home. (Except in extreme cases.) Sometimes you can reach her through the friends.<P>I hope this was helpful - I had a hard time when I was younger and always felt left out, even though from the outside it seemed like I had everything. It's all subjective and no matter how great your family is, it can still be hard. (My parents were happily married and devout Christians yet a brother, a sister and I all had problems - we are all very sensitive and things which didn't bother the others bothered us very deeply.)<P>Take care. I pray for peace in your family. <P>