I am a Christian (27 yr..) who committed adultery. I was a Deacon and SS teacher in my Church .I have repented and broken off the illicit affair( I have not seen her for 2 yr.). I know God has forgiven me and I feel my relationship with Him is closer than ever before. My wife says she has forgiven me, but she divorced me. I still love her and want to reconcile, but she want even talk about it. It's been about two years since we separated and I have been standing for my marriage. I pray daily and ask God to change her heart. People tell me it is over and to get on with my life, but my heart says to trust in God. My wife had Biblical grounds to divorce me and she feels she has done the right thing. I hurt daily and I wonder if you can tell me how to keep the door open for reconciliation, but stop hurting. It is as if as long as I pray and long for her return I leave my self open to keep hurting. I am committed to reconcile or stay single. What am I to do?

I would continue to try and show her how you have changed and that you love her and want to reconcile. You have to be careful not to appear too forceful or overwhelming to her. My prayers are with you.

Dear Milton, If you truly believed your wife had biblical grounds to divorce you then you probably would of as they say got on with your life. God desires Mercy over sacrifice.<BR>Forgiveness over rights. Jesus had the right to divorce us, yet He died on the cross for us. He forgave us our sins. To say there are biblical grounds for divorce for adultery is proff texting. In the context of the bible, Jesus was talking to a crowd that he knew were all guilty of adultery. In the original context of the bible, it was fornication, meaning, they all had sex before they even married and in OT times, a mate that was found out to be not a virgin Moses permitted divorce because there hearts were hard. Jesus Himself is about love and forgiveness and if we are to live thru Christ in our lives then we need to grasp who He really is. Read 1 corinthians 13. anyway, unforgiveness in the eyes of te Lord is no better than unfaithfulness. I can see you have truly repented of your sin and are washed clean by he blood of Jesus. Your wife however has not repented of her unforgivness, or your marriage would of been restored. You have to be careful, because you cant tell her this, it is between her and the Lord. You can and should however pray and pray hard that the Lord reaches her and turns her heart back to the Him. You continue to grow and draw nearer to the Lord and He will give you the strenth to make it thru this. I believe the Holy Spirit has called you to stand and believe the Lord will heal your marriage. Tell your wife that you love her and that you have hope that someday she will forgive you as the Lord has forgiven you. Tell her your going to pray and trust and believe the Lord will restore what has been broken. Nothing is too great for the Lord. Then she will need to see that you wont give up. Then the Lord will start to work on changing her heart. Its going to take time brother. God is slow according to our human understanding. He will test you to see if you truly trust Him. I pray the Lord gives you His strenth to stand and wait upon Him to restore and be glorified. In Jesus name, Amen

You are helping so many people by standing for your marriage. You won't know until you are in Heaven how many others saw you waiting and praying. Your faith is growing every day and your perserverance too. You are getting on with your life in a very noble and important way. <P>The world sees romantic love as the big deal and everyone's "right". But we all know that there is a cost to it.<P>Now you are going against the world's teaching and all the others will tell you you're crazy. (I know because I hear it and I think Mark has heard it more than anybody.) People will say that you need to find a new woman, enjoy yourself, recreate a life, etc.<P>I think you need to recreate a life too and you have. You have chosen Life. Real Life - not the fake version of all the magazines and TV shows and movies. You have chosen Jesus and He told us that His way was narrow and difficult. That it entailed carrying a cross. You are carrying your cross. The good news is that Jesus will help you to carry it when it gets too heavy.<P>If I had to bet, I'd bet with you that your wife is coming back. She will come back because you are going to perservere. When she does, there will be about 100 other people who are going to have their eyes opened. All the people who are telling you to get on with your life are going to stop and reflect when she returns. How many atheist marriages are restored? Personally, I don't know of any. But Christians - yes. Lots.<P>The enemy will do anything and everything to get you to give up so a lot of good people whom you trust are going to tell you to throw in the towel. But you remember the widow and don't let up on God. He will be so happy to give you this grace and to restore your marriage. He needs your prayers though, because His glory will be greater the longer this goes on. <P>Jesus, we want Your name to be revealed throughout the world. We want the glory and the power of God to shine light on all forms of darkness. Help Milton and all of us who are standing to stand firm. Help us to perservere. Help us to trust in You and not in what the world says. Help us to give a good example, to be Your light to the world, to be Your salt of the earth. Grant us Your grace and restore our marriages through an undeniable miracle. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Amen.<P>

I betrayed my wife, and she betrayed me.<BR>We decided to forgive each other. For life.<BR>Because LOVE is so f&^%$ POWERFUL it can do anything.<BR>It can make you leave all hurt and pain and wrong things you've done, BEHIND you. And it can create the future YOU want.<BR>So go for it. Follow your bliss.<BR>If you understand the full meaning of LOVE, you will have the power you need to get back to your marriage. Even if it takes your lifetime, go for what your heart tells you, do what LOVE would do. <BR>Once my wife and myself realized this, we looked and each other and laughed at all the trouble life is. It is really peanuts compared to what LOVE can do.<BR>Live it. Regardless of what others think or say or do.<BR>That is how you bring out the God that lives within you.<P>Have a beautiful life!

I would encourage you to continue eto hold on for God to come through for you. The Lord will give you the desires of your heart. God does not want to see the breakup of your family. He will come through for you.<P>While you wait for reconciliation, ask the Lord to remove the pain you are feeling. Ask Him for peace and perseverance. Wait on the Lord. I am sure this has drawn you closer to the Lord. Trust Him, He willcome through for you.<P>God will get the glory out of this when you are reconciled to your wife. Do not pursue her. I believe the Lord has forgiven you. I hope you have forgiven yourself. Our God is merciful.<P>God wants you reconciled more than you know. Don't listen to your family or friends, if they tell you to go on with your life. Trust God for full restoration.<P>Check this site: <A HREF="http://www.marriagerestorationministries.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagerestorationministries.com</A> or<BR>marriagerestoration@msn.com - You will get lots of encouragement. You will not want to give up if you visit this site.<P>I will keep you in my prayers.