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<p>[ May 30, 2002: Message edited by: cantletgo ]</p>

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Dear Heavenly Father,<BR> You are hearing the cries of "Cantletgo". Father her heart is broken. Lord, take her into your arms. Lord, let her feel your UNCONDITIONAL love. Lord, give her strength to stand this unslaught, this attack by Satan on her marriage. Give her the strength to seek your face. <P>We know, Heavenly Father, that without you in our lives, we are nothing, we have nothing, we can be nothing. Help our dear sister know this now. Give her a "Peace that passes all understanding" to see that this is your plan. You are still in control. Help her to calm down, pray to you, and seek you above all else, not seeking where her husband has gone and what he is thinking and doing. YOU know where he is Lord, YOU know what is bothering him, and how to fix it. No one else does. Please show that to Cant...<P>Lord even her screen name shows she doesn't know how to "Let go and Let God." Show her how to Let Go, Lord, so you are free to work in this man, on this marriage. Give her your peace and your Son, so she may have something of strength to hold on to while you take charge of this situation. <P>Thank you for answering ALL our prayers, Lord. We know, that sometimes the answer is No. But we know you are all knowledge and you know WHY that is the answer. We trust you, Lord, for all our blessings,. You are our Heavenly Father, and you take better care of us than any earthly father could. Thank you, Lord, for our salvation, for our lives, and allowing us to learn to love other human beings, so that we can understand what your unending love for us really means.<P>Amen. Praise the God of the universe.<P>Lupolady

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Lupolady, that was a beautiful prayer that lifts me up. <BR>Lord, help us all to hold on tight to You while we wait. Don't let our sadness turn to anger and revenge. Help us Lord - we are weak and You are strong.

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Thank you Lupolady. I ask that you continue to find time for me in your prayers. I feel so desperate. I am so afraid that the answer could be "no" and cant let it all go.<P>Trying to Hope: I hope your day is better today. I think you are more of a faithful person than I. Do you have that book "the Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian? It has very good words in it, even for me! Breaks down aspects of Husbands life such as emotions, work, finances, faith, health, father etc. And has a prayer in there for us wives!<P>"Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart". GALATIANS 6:9

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Cantlego, my H's depression led to statements that I had never been there for him, etc, etc. Your H sounds depressed and keeps referring to his "failures". He kept dwelling on his perceived "failures". Your H sounds depressed and right now he probably has no clue what "he wants". It kept hearing that and thought I'd crack up if I heard it anymore. He really didn't know what he wanted while in the fog of depression. While HE may be depressed, it is so hard on the spouse trying to help. <P>Take care.

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Dear Cantletgo...I was delighted to read that your have been reading Stormie Omartian's book, "Power of the Praying Wife".<P>I've read some of your other posts on D/D. Your situation seems impossible but we have a God who loves to bail us out of impossible situations. I think you may be starting on a new path in your life. I want to encourage you to keep reading Stormie's book and to get yourself in the Word of God. Go directly to the Proverbs. Those little verses really steped all over my toes.<P>Moving over to the Prayer Requests Board is another good move. Your responses here should be encouraging and give you hope that...Our Father works all things for good to those that love Him and that are called to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)Open your heart to the Lord and His purpose for your life. <P>"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11<P>You had been discouraged that things have gotten worse since you have started praying. That is a familiar scenerio. When my marriage crumbled and was carried off in to the sea I was an emotional mess...I prayed and it got worse. I had not been taught about the enemy, satan. He is out to steal, kill and destroy. As you uncover a longing in your heart to draw closer and lean on the Lord...the enemy is NOT going to like that. <P>We have alot to learn about our roles as wife to our husbands, about or life as a child of God and who our enemy really is. All of this information is in the Word. But if your like me...I had no formal upbringing in the Word. We went to church some in elementary school but we did not study the bible. For an entire year I made mistake after mistake during my separation and now I am divroced. I wish I had had the knowledege that is found in the Word. But I did not know how to decipher it or what verses applied to my situation and how to interpret all of it. I wish I had found the little book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" while I still had contact with my husband. <P>You have an awesome opportunity. I hope you will trust a sister who has come along the road you are on when she tells you you need the wisdom found on the <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> web site. The testimonies alone will bless you. You would greatly benefit from hearing the "Be Encouraged" tapes series and reading the little book. I have watched this material totally transform more then one situation.<P>You need to get out of your husbands way. This is in the bible. Psalm 1<BR>1 <BR>Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.<BR>2 <BR>But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.<BR>3 <BR>He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. <BR>4 <BR>Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.<BR>5 <BR>Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. <BR>6 <BR>For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. <P>Verse 1 says Blessed is he who stays out of the path of the sinner. <P>I tried desprately to please my husband when I should have been trying to plese the Lord...here it is in the Word of God..."Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4<P>Cantletgo, our Heavely Father wants to give you the desire of your heart. Cry out to Him, tell Him and them listen and read the Word for His instruction and wisdom. <P>I really like Psalm 1, Psalm 37, Psalm 23, Psalm 51, Psalm 91, Psalm 107... There is much to learn if you are willing to make the sacrifices. I will be lifting you up to the Lord during your dark hours. Plese pray to know Him. He loves you very very much.<P>YSIC, Mrs. A

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Dear Cantletgo, the best place to start is putting Jesus first in your life then He will put everything in order. The Lord has called on you for a close relationship with Him. Psalm 34 says the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. I love the psalms and the ones alans rib mentioned are among my favorites. Draw close to the Lord and He will lead you to where you need to go. He will be there for you and encourage you. He will heal your husband and marriage. He is God almighty. Dear Lord, i lift my sister up to you that you would draw near to her and comfort her in her time of need. Lord, i ask that you would give her your strenth and courage to fully trust in you to do the impossible according to the world yet not your word. Lord i lift her husband up to you that you would deliver him from the depression and lies of the enemy. Bring her prodigal back home. May this marriage be restored and glorify your name greatly Lord. In Jesus name, amen<BR>Mark

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Thank you for your responses. I am not an outwardly religious person. I started reading that book out of desperation. I feel I have nowhere else to turn. I feel bad for begging that this marriage be saved/repaired & reconciled. I am desperate. How do you let go & give it all up to 'His will' just like that. To accept that whatever the outcome, that it was meant to be? I cant all the way! I still have the feeling there is something esle I could/should be doing. But what if the outcome is more painful than what I feel now? I am supposed to accept it as whats best for me? There in lies my difficulty. I am afraid of anymore pain. <P>I know in my heart the external circumstances are what overwhelmed my Husband leading him to process his thought s & feelings the wrong way & change it outlook on life & blame me & our marriage. I know this is something he must fix for himself, but I have a hard time with that. I want to help & I cant!!<P>My husband is of another faith. It has not been a problem for us. Please dont condemn him for that, the messages & how we are to live our lives spiritually are very similar. I was angry one day & snapped at him did he ever think this might be a wake up call? I noticed he may be doing some prayer vigil himself right now. It may only be for his work & not our marriage. I will never know. But I hope our situation will improve. He has been slightly calmer today. But the people he talks to around here at work do not respect marriage. 1 guy had affairs & is in midst of divorce. The woman did not turn him away (married with kid, whos H is often gone away for work). She interfered more than I realize I think. I pray that He will be repulsed by her and that her lies will no longer enter his heart or mind!<P>Please pray for him to have a clear mind, and to be able to process his emotions & see clearly. For him not to be tempted or influenced by all the people around him who do not have OUR best interests (marriage) at heart. He is like an emotional sponge & when he talks to these people, thinks & acts badly (talks again of divorce papers etc). When he is around better people on the weekends he is a much better person. Pray for our affections, emotions, thoughts etc. and that our marriage will be reconciled soon! Pray that he will not move out of our home or take any drastic actions! (no financial fights, no talk of selling house, moving out, divorce). Thank you for your prayers. I hope God will help us all in our lives! Gotta Go!

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Cantletgo, to just let go and give it all to God can take some years to do. It took me 2 years. Im on 3 years seperation. God really started to move in my situation once i was able to let go from my heart. I just keeped at it and at it. One of the main reasons i was able to finally let go was it was all killing me. Meaning i was on the egde of just wanting to end it all and i didnt care if i did. These situations take a lot of faith in the Jesus, and without it i cant see anyone making it. Its a lifetime process and it takes spending time with the Lord alone and having a relationship with Him. We live in an istant gratification society and we expect answers and solutions overnight. If we seek instant gratification, we usually do what the devil wants instesad of God. Thats why this is called the narrow road, for wide is the road that leads to destrution. We are now taught in america that feeling good all of the time is our God given right and feeling bad should be avoided at all cost. Look at the pharmicutical industry flourishing, sepecially in bad times. No one wants to have faith anymore. It is a painful process. Look at the pioneers of our own country. They travelled across this land headed west with their families and many died along the way, from indians, weather, sickness and starvation. Still they pressed on. They trusted in God and had their bibles. Today if you were to do what they did, you would be arrested for child and spousel abuse and put in a mental institution or prison. God has blessed america so much that we have forgotten Him, just like Israel did many times before. We serve the God of comfort and ease. If i had to do it my way i would of taken the easy road and did what 4000 do everyday. Divorce and move on with my life. Would that make me a better person. Nope. Would my faith grow. Nope. would the Lord be pleased after giving me eternal life after i leave this place with no more tears. Nope. Ive lived in comfort and ease most of my life as Gods son lived in poverty and pain His days, then was dragged off to the cross and crucified for me. One day i woke up to the person i became and turned my heart to the Lord. I hope and pray many others will do the same and we can all laugh about this when we get to heaven. I pray the Lord gives you strenth to do His will in your life and that the Lord draws near to you in His comfort and Love. In Jesus name, Amen<BR>Mark

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For 2 days H was talking to me & asking me to help him with small things. He approached me at work. I was shocked. But last night all of a sudden when I rode somewhere with him, he said dont make anything of it, that nothings changed. (We ride apart for last 3 months). That he talked to me & there I go getting my hopes up! Not to do that. <P>He had snapped at me cause I said there was other fresh ice cream in the freezer beside the one he was eating. That nothings changed. He called the doctor for chest pain & admitted to dr its from stress. Pray our doctor says the right words to him & that the doctor has the right knowledge of these things! I feel Dr. is too soft & wont point out that stress affects the body physically in many ways, including mood & thought! The stress has turned my H's brain! <P>Also, this woman at work had been absent. She was back yesterday afternoon & then last night he said nothings changed. I went to bed. He came upstairs & said he just didnt want to fight anymore. But nothings changed!? How can he be caring for me, want my advice & company and act like his former self and tell me nothings changed?? I dont get it!! He still thinks if he leaves our house, divorces me & leaves everything behind that his life will be wonderful immediately!! I cant bear the pain of all this anymore. I just cant. I get up & hopeful & then H knocks me flat. I pray from that book that he will not be influenced by ill councel & the enemies lies (woman at work) & that God has given him a clear mind. ANd still this! I want our marriage reconciled. I am not willing to quit wanting that. But the pain he is causing me & this rollercoaster he has put me on since mid April is killing me!! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE! I NEED ANSWERS!! TRUTHS!! <P>I told therapist I was trying to ignore the presence of this woman & she said thats best. I dont know if they still talk. (It was this woman at work who told me personal stuff he confided in her about our marriage, when I never knew!! She was becoming our friend outside of work too. I dont speak to her anymore. My H & her were talking constantly at work, NOT WORKING. Even behind closed dooors. Just last week they were walking out together still. Dont know if they went somewhere together or not? She has to pick up her kid from daycare. She is married, but her H is gone away overnight much of the time for his work. I dont know if they are still talking so much or not. I cannot 'catch them'. I cannot talk to H about her. He gets extremely defensive. Says I made him lose his friends & shes just "one of the guys". But guys dont talk about intimate things to each other in private & keep secrets from their spouses! HELP!! I'M LOSING IT. I also dont have faith that God will help me in all of this anymore. Please pray for us both that we will come together again & our marriage WILL be saved & reconciled!

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<BR><B>HELP!! I'M LOSING IT. I also dont have faith that God will help me in all of this anymore. Please pray for us both that we will come together again & our marriage WILL be saved & reconciled!</B>[/QUOTE]<P>Cantletgo: It isn't about your marriage right now, it's about YOUR relationship with God. Even if your marriage goes away (or mine) you will still have to be right with God, since God made us, has been there with us from the beginning, and will be till the end. God wants ALL of us. Until you are able to surrender everything to Him, including what YOU want to happen to your marriage, nothing will change....you will continue to have this up and down rollercoaster ride. If you don't have enough faith, just TELL God that!! That's the beauty of His way!! He doesn't tell us to just DO IT. He HELPS US DO IT. We just pray, and He gives us the words, and thoughts we need to do His will. We're never alone. He's with us every step fo the way. Isn't that a comfort?<P>Your H's stress level or heart or whatever problems are HIS concern, and God's. This may be God's way of waking him up to what he's doing, but it's NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. You just need to get your eyes on God, to see what God wants YOU to do. Until you can obey God, he doesn't need to give you anything. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Not get what you want, and then God gets the leftovers. And NOT as a bargaining chip to get God to give you what YOU want. No. This is just about your relationship with Him, and NOt about your relationship with your H. God will deal with THAT after you get right with Him. If you DON'T, God may NEVER get around to dealing with that issue. YOU are taking too much time to turn to Him!! That's why you see confusion and turmoil everywhere. God will NOT work on your H until you surrender your H to Him. Period. That's how it works. WHATEVER God wants for your future is 1000% better than what you've got now, don't you think? The "outcome" can't be more painful than this, can it? Think about it. And I will continue to pray. Please pray for me, too. I'm being attacked today BIG TIME by Satan. He's showing me images of my H and OW embracing, and laughing and having a *wonderful* time together. I don't believe it, but Satan's trying to get me to worry about it, instead of standing on God's promise that God is in control. Because if I do that, then the work God has started in ME and in my H will cease, until I get right with God again.<P>Just keep your eyes on God. Turn on a Christian radio station in your area, listen to some christian music, some of the contemporary stuff is pretty cool....not just hymns. Those are too boring, especially for someone who isn't from a church background! But there's other stuff you can do if you get tired of reading just the Bible. Keep reading the prayers "Power of A Praying Wife" - say them OUT LOUD so Satan knows you are PRAYING. He hates that!! That's the best time for God to work, when we are praying....there really IS power in praying to God!! You are seeing negative things happen because you have not gone to God before, and Satan doens't want to lose you. He will make you think it isn't doing any good, but it is! Believe it. It is.<P>Father, please help Cantletgo to LET GO. Please, Father, show her your love for her. Let her know you are OUR FATHER and our God, our judge and our Healer. Let her know you want so many more GOOD THINGS than she can even think of right now. Help her lean on you, Father, she hasn't done it before and it's very scary to think that the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE will bend down to touch our lives! We know you love her, and have wonderful things in mind. Show her your peace, and help her have faith. I know I have to pray for you to give me your peace. I don't have it on my own. Father, give her YOUR peace that passes all understanding. Please Father, show her how much you loved her that Jesus died for her, and what else can possibly matter after that?<BR>Thank you Jesus. You sacrificed your OWN life, and we can't sacrifice anything, because ALL THAT WE HAVE and ALL WE ARE belongs to you anyway, whether we believe it or not!<P>Thank you Jesus. We love you for your free gift for us.<BR>Amen.<BR>Lupo

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Hello my friend<P>Jesus calmed the storms and so He is able to calm the storms in your marriage<P>Please remember it is our behaviour which should be as positive as can be and it is not easy and the things we say to each other that build up frustration or happiness<P>Write to me<P>I am your christian friend<P>There is hope at the end of the problem for you<P>But get it now<P>Carol kidnpuppetshow@yahoo.com<P>------------------<BR>Carol the friend

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Mark please put a prayer in poems section<P>I found a person's poem of a lost and forgotten<BR>father<P>We need your comforting prayers<P>Carol<BR>

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Things just get worse for me! He is with that woman at work almost constantly. It is NOT about work. Once or twice I have gone to ask my H about an appointment he had & she was in his office & they were whispering. He was telling her "You have to tell me?". I, the wife am delegated to the hallway if I wish to speak to him privately! I pleaded with him not to be revealing the details of our personal lives to her. He said he wasnt. But he did in the past & I wanted him to admit this, the next day, after I saw them together again. He vehemently denied, it & then said, ok so what if I did. Constantly tells me to leave him alone, get away & worry about myself & leave him the He@@ alone. Then when I told him a certain appointment was his own business he yelled at me that "You are MY WIFE, This is about my Health and proceeded to call me a Bi@#@.!!! Jeckyl & Hide. He has said he will not seek advice or work out his demons, but instead will see an attorney & file for D. He also said he is getting an apartment. (still at home, separate rooms). He doesnt realize I know the overnight bag & comforter are still in the back of the truck. he has been at home to sleep these few nights since, which is a comfort to me (I must be crazy!!). I think he is lying about an apartment for now. I dont want him to move out. But I dont want a divorce either. He pushes & pushes me away. Says very hurtful things. Then gets mad if I do not show support in some tiny thing. I bought him some bath stuff (stress relief) & left it in the bathroom. He threw it all over the bedroom floor & cursed at me again. (He does not drink or do drugs at all). I have no idea how I will get thru the 4th. I have nowhere to go & noone to go with. Friends are busy with their own adgendas.<P>I still want this marriage to work out! I dont want further separation or divorce. I dont want to split up anything ($). All I want is the love & affection of the man I have been with for 14yrs. Married 9yrs. We were the 1st everything for eachother within our marriage. PRAYERS PLEASE for us both!!

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Wow, Can't,<BR>You story just sounds so similar to mine in so many ways! Especially the way he is acting and the things he is saying. My H even thinks that what he is doing is OK with God - he thinks he is closer to God now that ever! Boy I hope he really is, so he can learn the truth!<BR> <BR>Definitely Come here to vent anytime. Your threads are partly what intrigued me and enouraged me in my situation when I first started reading 7 weeks ago, because your story sounded like mine. We must keep praying, and working on ourselves. That is ALL we can do at this point. I KNOW it's hard, I cried so hard in the car by myself yesterday I was sick (literally) to my stomach! Then I was so ashamed at my lack of self-control and lack of faith in God. <BR> <BR>His promises for us are true - he will supply ALL of our needs, regardless of what our H's decide to do. It's NOT over until the divorce is final! - that's what I keep telling myself. Until then, keep praying Stormie's "Praying Wife" prayers for H and for you too. I read them out loud every night - every one of them. Satan knows I'm doing it, he's scared and fighting back, and God will reward me for my persistence and faith. <BR> <BR>My motto I got from a Gary Smalley book, Winning your Husband Back before it's Too Late, is "I'm committed to growing in body, soul and spirit, regardless of my H's reactions or commitment to himself, me, or God." It really helps me through my tough moments. I'm losing weight, exercising, and trying to learn to be a better wife, sister, employee, friend, and daughter. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but God reminds me tht He loves me and He won't give up on me.<BR> <BR>Another good book is Beth Moore's Praying God's Word. wow is all can say on that one right now - just started it - it's great.<BR> <BR>Enough rambling - but wanted to let you know you are not crazy and you are not alone. Come on'! You can make it. God will move this mountain for us, or He will give us the strength to climb it! Lots of prayers soming your way...<P>------------------<BR>Faith1

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Dear Cantletgo, There are no easy answers to these situations. They take so much faith to get thru, and we usally start out with so little, like i did 3 years ago. Although my wife and i are not under the same roof yet(shes in a mental and drug treament home) we are becoming very close to each other again and it is growing. She is now in love with me again and let me tell you, she hated me and did things only an enemy would do. she destroyed my life compleatly. It will take me years to recover from just what she did fianacially to us. Still i stood firm, thru most of it, and although i gave up at times, the Lord aleways brought me back to trusting Him and giving me strenth. All i can say at this point is keep crying and praying to God and learn to trust in Him more and more each day. Its a process that doesnt happen over night. You may need to cut your prodigal loose and compleatly give him to God. It was the hardest thing i ever did, but i finally found peace and learned to trust in God more. She knew i was praying for her and loved her. Thats all she needed to know. They will alwasy hit bottom and hard. Let God humble your husband. It will be in His time, also. The good news is God will restore your marriage if you trust and believe He will. The bad news is i couldnt tell you when or how far your husband will hit bottom. My wife hit bottom so hard, she almost died,( i did also but thats a different story) and she now has cirrosis of the liver and may not live so long now.Thru it all God will give you peace. Just talk to Him and cry to him. He hears your prayers and cries and will lead you were you need to go. Your tears are building up many treasures in heaven. <BR>Mark

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Dear Cantletgo<P>It is your right to take both of you to a qualified counsellor or minister<P>Coming here is healthy to vent but you need to get<BR>hold of someone close by or a minister immediately<BR>and get control of the situation before it goes<BR>out of orbit<P>You need a qualified person to hear your and his<BR>side so that therapy in your relationship can<BR>begin<P>There is nothing people can say in a nutshell like<BR>this to tell you exactly what to do<P>People are so kindly and intelligently trying to point<BR>you in the right direction but when you look again it<BR>might all have slipped through your fingers while you<BR>are watching a computer screen<P>Take hold of the problem today and go and see a social<BR>worker or counsellor and take control before your life<BR>destiny controlls you and you get dished the raw side<BR>of this deal<P>See <A HREF="http://www.prayertoweronline.org" TARGET=_blank>www.prayertoweronline.org</A> <BR> <A HREF="http://www.allexperts.com" TARGET=_blank>www.allexperts.com</A> for a quick question of advice<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com</A> spend longer time per<BR> day reading this site<P> It is carefully designed to<BR> help your situation

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just a quick note. I am seeing a therapist. But its only been 2X & I think she must still be trying to get a feel for what all is going on. I have not had much feedback from her yet. We both have no family to fall back on for support, were the 1st everything for each other etc. We dont have children. Had not said never, but time is short! He has said more than once lately that he is "too old". He's in his early 40's.!<P>I feel like I have fallen from the bottom of the rollercoaster into some black hole! I dont feel like doing anything. I go to the mall & dont want to look at anything. I had started yardwork at one point, but its too hot anymore. Our yard looks like no one lives in the house anymore. It is sad & pityful.<P>I still read excerpts from Stormies book everyday. I think this may be the only reason he hasnt moved out yet! I DO NOT want him to move out or divorce me. But I want us to be involved in our marriage again. Not aloof, spiteful,withdrawn, denying true feelings, avoiding everything. God help us both! and those here in such pain also.<p>[This message has been edited by cantletgo (edited July 03, 2001).]

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Hi Cantletgo, Right now is a difficult time for you to see any good in your situation. You have to keep looking past the hurt and pain and focus on the Lord. He is the only one that can truly help you. Pray he leads you to some healthy pastor and people of God whom will staand beside you and pray. Most counselers only want your money, and Jesus said freely I give, and freely we should receive. If someone tells you that your miracle is going to cost you money, run. If a ministry tells you to send in your seed faith money for your miracle, dont listen. Ive had plenty of marrige counseling and it all was worthless and placed even more of a financial burden on me. My wife didnt like what she heard and left 6 months before i did. I had a pastor that went and counted how much i tithed and didnt feel i deserved quality counseling. He at least should of checked my yearly income?? I have had to rely on the Lord. It is important that you find some people of faith however to pray for you and encourage you. Good church's are like finding needles in a haystack. There are times when the Lord wants our undivided attention and its just Him and us. Whos going to heal your marriage anyway. This place is a lot like counseling. You get some good, some bad, but at least you share your pain with others that are in the same boat with you, and its encouraging to be lifted up in prayer and to pray for others. And the best part is its free! Another kind of counseling to avoid is your family doctor. Hes probably going to perscribe prozac for you and add to your troubles and dependancy on things other than God. I didnt see David finding a counselor in a cave. I didnt see Hosea going to his counselor every week. I saw Jobs counselors and God was not happy with them. Joseph wasnt on any antidepressants as far as i know.And Eve messed up in a big way, yet didnt come from a dysfuntional family. I believe God allows our trials , so we stop looking to the world for answers and start looking to Him and in the process build our relationship with the Lord. Thats why He made us . To have fellowship with Him. I will continually be praying for you. I pray that God gives you the wisdom and the strenth to follow His leading and draw close to Him. Place it all at the cross and leave it there. God is more than capable of handling your problems. Do it everyday. I still have to. I tend to take it back. I tend to loose my trust for the Lord, when im in great pain. Im learning. Its a painfully slow process, but im starting to see the answers to my prayers and i am growing in my relationship with the Lord. <BR>Mark

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 105
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cantletgo:<BR><B>I am losing strength. I am exhausted. I wish the lightnint outside would strike me! I am on the ride down the rollercoaster again. I keep on trying to do whatever I can to save this marriage, but how do I know what that is? <P>I am worn out. We fought for 9 yrs but the threat of divorce has only loomed over us about 6 weeks now, when how he felt came into the light. The "chance" he is giving me is to get used to the idea of him leaving, NOT of us working on our marriage. He is insistant it is too late. Says that hes fixing our house up for me or to sell & then leaving. He has considerable job stress & multiple rejections & blames me for "messing up" (to be polite) his life. (See my post -Husband rock bottom didnt last- under the divorcing / divorced forum.) I thought if I wasnt posting in that forum that maybe some karma would be better or something. That I would have some sign things were changing. Last week he was facing his emotions & commented he felt like a failure & was having a breakdown. This from an extemeely macho -men dont cry- man.<P>I am not religious but I thought that book by Stormie OMartian "Power of a Praying Wife" couldnt hurt. I have been reading from that in secret every night since I bought it. But things have only gotten worse! I went to temp. counseling & need to call back for a referral for long term counseling which I am doing today. I have read many books. But I cant get thru to H at all. He has asked for my help with tasks around the house but otherwise avoids me. He hasnt shown me at all of any desire to change or save this marriage. And I cant do it by myself! I cant let him just move away & leave me just like that!! For no real reason.<BR> <BR>Both our parents are deceased, I have no siblings etc. He is my whole world, my family. I tried to say this to him & he told me to shut up & that I was lying. We were each others 1st everything. No prior relationships, discovered each other physically along the way etc. No children. We bought our 1st home ~ 4yrs ago. he works on it alot, but now only talks about selling it. Then says ok, he'll give it to me. Then gets mad that I wont just move out & leave him the house! Says its the only reason I married him!! We lived in apartments for yrs. He says I was never there for him! I always always was. Thru all the crisis he created in his own life, I was there. Mostly re: finances & education.<P>I know the source of most of his anger is the job (feels like a failure- his whole identitiy is there) but he wont face it & blames me. He also confided personal details about his feelings/our marriage to a female coworker who says constantly "she is just one of the guys". Bull. Guys dont talk that way! It was she who told me how he felt. I never knew til ~ 5-6 weeks ago. Now he has tried to say that is what I told HER!? Denied telling her things, then said so what. Accused me of spying & following him all over town, when I never did. <P>I want our marriage saved!! I want us to learn & grow. But now what! All of this is a result of him bottling up all his feelings & the volcano is erupting now. But he sees it as all my fault as I am closest to him. HE is obstinate & will not allow himself to depend on me or come back into my life at all. He also will not let me into his otherwise. We've been sleeping in separate rooms almost a month. Drive separately to work, though we work in the same place! He wont eat what I cook (though Ive seen him eat it when I,m not looking). He is so helpless sometimes I just want to hug him, but no way will he let me near him. We barely speak.<BR>I am hurting so bad now. The ache in my heart is so much worse. I started sleeping holding a teddy bear. It hasnt helped. I would never seek it elsewhere, but I am starved for affection. <P>Please please offer up some sort of prayers for my husband & I both. I want this marriage to be saved & repaired & reconciled so bad!! I am trying my best, but H is must be majorly confused over his own thoughts & wont budge a centimeter! I need a miracle. I know the process would be over time but I want a sign of something positive, that H is willing to try once more to give our marriage a chance!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Dear Jesus, I believe that You died for me and that You rose again on the third day. I confess to You that I am a sinner and that I need Your love and forgiveness. Come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and give me eternal life. I confess You now as my Lord. Thank You for my salvation.<BR>"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved – you and your household." Acts 16:31<P>A PRAYER FOR YOUR SPOUSE<P>I will exalt You, my God the King; I will praise Your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise You and extol Your name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. Lord, You uphold all those who fall and lift up all who are bowed down. Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. Thank you Lord, that You have seen (SPOUSES NAME) ways, but You will heal (SPOUSE'S NAME); You will guide but You will heal (SPOUSE'S NAME); You will guide (SPOUSE'S NAME). (SPOUSE'S NAME) heart is in the hand of the Lord; He directs it like a watercourse wherever He pleases. Cleanse (SPOUSE'S NAME AND YOUR NAME) with hyssop, and we will clean; wash us, and we will be whiter than show. Create in (SPOUSE'S NAME AND YOUR NAME) a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within us. Search us, O God, and know our heart; test us and know our anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in us and lead us both in the way everlasting. Amen.<P>Scriptures taken from Psalm 145:1-3, 13b-14, Isaiah 50:7, Isaiah 57:18, Proverbs 21:1, Psalm 51:7,10, Psalm 139: 23-24<P><BR>Lord, we come together in agreement where in Matthew 18:19 we read that if two of you on earth agree about anything we ask for, it will be done for us by our Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in My name, there am I with them. Lord, we pray that no weapon formed against this family will prevail. Satan, you were defeated at the cross when our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified. He arose showing you His mighty power. Get away from this family and all families around the world who are speaking separation and divorce. God hates divorce, instead he will be the Repairer of Broken Walls, a Repairer of the Breech and will rebuild homes on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. <P>Lord, we are praying that both of these people and all our prodigals around the world will have a personal relationship with You as their Savior and as their Lord. For it by grace that each of us have been saved through faith, not of ourselves, but a gift from God. <P>Lord, we are putting the full armor of God on this family and on all the families around the world who have strife of separation going on in their homes, putting a hedge of protection and the blood of Jesus over them, so that we can take a stand against the devil's schemes. We stand in agreement with our Lord God and know that all of the enemie's tricks and schemes against this family and other families are broken. For our struggles are not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Lord, we pray that all the spouses who are planning on leaving and the ones who are gone will flee the evil desires of youth, and instead pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. We pray that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. We know that Your sheep hear Your voice, so speak loudly to Your children today and we pray that they will be obedient to Your voice, Your will, and Your way. <P>Lord, we praise You that You are in control of this crisis, and I pray that You will show Your people the power of prayer. Give hope to husbands and wives, showing them and speaking to them that You can heal, restore and rebuild their marriage. Nothing is too hard for You, and greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world. Lord, we praise You and thank You that we have confidence in approach- ing You; that if we ask in anything according to Your will, You hear us. And we know that when You hear us-whatever we ask-we know that we have what we asked of You. I pray I Corinthians 13:4-8 on them, restoring their love as the day each of them got married. Lord, we give this couple and all the other couples around the world to You Lord, and trust You to protect them from the evil one. We pray this in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen. <P><BR>It is going to work out. Believe in God. <P>


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