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Joined: Jun 2001
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On May 29, 2001 my married life changed forever. My husband told me he didn't know if he loved me anymore. He said he doesn't even care about his home, and everything else we worked so hard for. He said they mean nothing. He's dead inside and he doesn't even feel anything if I come home it's like he doesn't want me to. He said is it a sin to stay in a marriage if you HATE being in it. We have been married for 10 years. We have five year old twin girls. My husband works third shift as a Police Officer. I work first shift. He says he hasn't been happy and not sure if he's felt love for me for six years. I know we haven't had a lone time with all the work we have to do on our acreage and the girls are very active. I have always been committed but that seems like it wasn't enough. On May 29, 2001 he went out for a couple of beers. I said for him to be careful, to call me if he needs me to pick him up. He made it sound like he wouldn't be gone very long. One of our girls got the hives like she does sometimes but this time it was MUCH worse I tried to call him on cell phone and I called the bar where he was supposed to be. He wasn't there. I even called one of his friends. No one had seen him. This was about 11:30pm at night and I had to pack the girls in the truck because I ran out of medicine for her hives. I drove to store and got more. On the way back home I saw the bar was closed where he was supposed to be. I kept trying his cell # NO ANSWER. I began to worry.<BR>I went home and it became 1:30am then 1:45am then someone called him cell phone that I had at home. The number was familiar that I saw before. I said HELLO and they hung up.<BR>I looked up the number and it was in him pocket calendar the numbers matched beside it was a girls name Mary. I was really worried. Finally at 2:30am I see him turn on our gravel road. I jumped into bed like I was sleeping. When he got into bed I asked jokingly if he closed the bars down. He said he left this bar at 2:10am. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew the bar closed earlier. I told him about our daughter he jumped up and said of all nights. I told him to sit down. I asked him where he really was. He said that bar again. I told him I drove past it and it was closed. He then put his head down and said he was driving around thinking. I said where I tried calling the cell #. I told him about Mary calling. He finally admitted he had been talking to her at work about somethings. She has been better than any marriage counselor because she's been through it. To make a long story shorter. He has admitted to an affair with her. We have been to a counselor once together and once by ourselves. After I caught them again at her house when I caught him in another lie. I called our Pastor. We confessed all our sins and asked for forgiveness. He said he would stop calling her. Since May 29, 2001, there have been days where he would just lay in bed and cry. He couldn't even look at me. He said it's done and he feels nothing, he's dead inside. He said he's been feeling like this for 6 years now and he just can't take it anymore.<BR>We went together twice to see the Pastor and my husband went once by himself. I caught him talking to her on his cell phone outside one day. He said she's having a hard time with it.(ending it) From that day things have just gotten WORSE. I looked on internet and found this website and set-up a phone counselling. I talked first and I thought we were getting over somewhat of a hump. Then I came home on June 8, 2001 and found a note with a womans writting and my husbands writting. It was for a divorce lawyer. I asked him about it and totally lied. Then again he said he's done he can't take it anymore. I told his parents that weekend. His brother went to talk to him and his parents talked to him on Sunday. Then that Monday he had his Phone Counselling session and that night he told me he helped him understand a lot of things he's feeling BUT there are a lot of things he has to work out and that was all he wanted to tell me for now. I thanked him. We had another session together a couple of days later. My husband seemed like he was willing. Then I saw got the cell phone bill. He calls her right after he talks to me or pastor or counselor. He works third shift and she also works with him. He called her work number all the time almost every hour then when she gets home at 3:00am he calls her home # every hour after that until he leave for home at 7:00am. Then as soon as he gets up during the day he calls her. I called our Pastor. He said he has to be confronted about this and to stop or he is not welcome in church or home. I went to medical doctor because I am not able to sleep or eat. I told him the whole story. He said it doesn't sound like the same man he knew. He said he wanted to see him. I asked my husband to go. He said he would call. My husband cancelled our appointment with our Pastor to go to doctor. Then he was going to cancel doctor appointment. I also talked to someone who knew some things about this woman my husband had been calling. She said to be very carefull. She is good at conquering men. She has had affairs on her husband. She said she's out to win.<BR>This really scared me. My husband did go to the doctor and was upset with me that I told him everything. He worked a special project on Saturday from 7:00pm - 11:00pm he called and said he would be late. Then he called again and said he was going out for a couple of beers. I told him to please come home. He said no he was going out for a couple of beers. His brother called and I told him. He said he figured that he would be late. His brother and his wife drove to the bar. Here he was sitting at the bar with Mary.<BR>His brother called the bar and told him to come home. It wasn't my idea to do this it was his families. His dad also drove to our house. They are all sick. They all talked. Nothing got through his THICK head. He feels he shouldn't stay in a marriage if he wasn't happy inside about it. His family are very Christian people and my husband was raised this way too. He's so hooked on her. He even told me he gets love and care there. He said he could stay in marriage but he's scared about future what if it doesn't work. Then he said he could go with her and it doesn't work. He even told he out of anger that he knew it can work with her. He said I made he have the affair. I drove him to it. He said through all of these years I gave him a lot of emotional scares that he can't look past. He's dead inside. He made me feel like a terrible person. I know I have a lot of things to work on but I'm not an evil person. I know sometimes I am demanding and maybe a nag. I know I have disrespected his family. I never have felt him not loving me. I have known my husband forever. He only lived 2 blocks away from me. We went to same school. We know everything about each other. I considered us a good team and sole mates. He thinks what I say and I say what he thinks. But ever since he got into this new career about 6-1/2 years ago plus during this time we had twin girls and bought this acreage which needed a LOT of work. That's all we've been doing is work. For the last week or so he has become a VERY good lier, sneak. And I feel him drawing closer and closer to her and further and further from me. I told him as a friend in confidentiality the stuff I heard about Mary. He promised to not tell her. Well last night he sat down upset what I had said about her and that he has his resourses that say that this is not true about her. He just is defending and all on her side. He has also put his mind at ease about divorce. He is just has made himself believe thats what needs to be done. He's throwing this Mary in my face and defending her. I told him I don't know his. We were absolutely the best of friends. We have know each other our entire lives. And now he's taking her his and thinks he knows everything about her like no one does. He said she's made him see the light. He said she said once you lose something in a marriage you will NEVER get it back. That the kids will adjust and divorce is fine. Well still go to family reunions no one will abandon me. My family I am not close to. My mother passed away in 1994 and it's just my dad. His family is my only family to me. Anyone have any suggestions. I went to a lawyer today to just talk and he said we need to make a committment to save our marriage. We need to take a plan of action. I am willing to do our change anything to make the marriage work. But on the other hand my husband says he will TRY. He still has this Mary in the background. I have been begging and pleading and I know I have just drawn his closer to her. I don't want a divorce. I truely LOVE my husband. I feel I can't live and raise our children without him. He's like a stranger in my house. He's nice one minutes then the next he says he's faking it again like he has for 6 years. I am just crushed. We have ALWAYS said to each other every time we depart from each other "I LOVE YOU" but now he can't say it. He sometimes doesn't say it to the girls. Now for the last week or so too he thinks he needs to not wear his wedding ring. He lies that he has a sore but he doesn't. I asked his again this morning and he said he doesn't feel right wearing it.<P>I was told by his parents and listening to a tape from the book "LOVE MUST BE TOUGH" that he must leave his home and decide what he wants. I will tell him I love him and married him for life and I'm deticated & committed to do what it takes. But he must make a choice to be committed to saving his marriage.<P>HELP do you have any suggestions. I am tired and feel helpless.<P>Sincerely,<BR>LOVEMESS

Joined: Mar 2001
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Dear Jesus,<BR>I know that You cry with us. I know You hear us, Lord. Send us Your peace. Please remove these extra people from our marriage. Divorce is not Your will at all. You want our children to have a father and mother. Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, please don't give up on us down here. We are surrounded by seemingly hopeless situations and so few which have good news. Bring us back to You. Bring this man back to You. He is being tricked by your enemy through this adulterous woman. Jesus, please don't let this family break up. Protect them and all the families of those who are on this forum. We need You Lord. I ask this in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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I wouldn't jump the gun too fast about making him leave. It is MUCH easier to "Plan A" living in the same house. When you feel your love for him disappearing, then it is time for Plan B. Please read the principles of the Marriage Builders philosophy. Your story sounds very familiar to mine, other than the fact we had been married nearly 25 years. Part of my husband's problem was depression, brought on by a lot of stress on the job. Your H may be experiencing the same thing, due to him being in law enforcement, a high stress occupation.<P>All the things your husband said ... not loving you or being happy "for years". All same thing. <P>I wouldn't be reconciled if it hadn't been for marriage builders philosophy and support on this web site. <P>Good luck. Keep posting.

Joined: Jun 2001
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YOU ARE IN GREAT DANGER. The book by Dobson is NOT, repeat NOT the way to save your marriage or to love your husband...1 Corinthians 13 NAS<BR>4<BR>Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,<BR>5 <BR>does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,<BR>6 <BR>does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;<BR>7 <BR>bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.<BR>8 <BR>Love never fails...<P>Throw that book in the trash!! I used "Tough Love". It felt good to my flesh and now I am divorced. I wish I had not been so arrogant and prideful as to hold my husband accountable to the vow of marriage we had made. It is not my job... to what extent should I have suffered for my marraige and my beleoved husband? Read 1 Peter 2:13 - 3:18<P>Especially concentrate on verses 2:20-23 and 3:1<P>2:20<BR>For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God.<BR>21 <BR>For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,<BR>22 <BR>WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH;<BR>23 <BR>and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;<P>3:1<BR>"IN THE SAME MANNER..." (as Christ)<P>WOW...in the face of being revield, insulted, and suffering<BR>threats...we are to do what??? We are to BARE these things. That doesn't appeal to my flesh and it sure isn't the way of the world...hey, we might be on to something here!<P>WHY? So that our husband's may be won over not by our converstations (words) but by the godly lives of their wives. <P>You can turn your marriage around without talking about it!! "With many words come trangressions." Proverbs 10:19 <P>The Word warns us not to separate from our spouses...why because the consequence could be sexual temptation. Your husband could enter into adultry. It is very dangerous for you to separate from your husband. Do everything you can scripturally to make your house peaceful and keep your husband in the home. <P>I know your mum and dad love you and they hate that you are in pain and turmoil but please look to the Lord and the Word for direction from our Heavenly Father. You have an incredible opportunity to grow in Christ and save your marriage. <P>I want to encourage you and offer you hope that no matter what your husband is telling you your marriage can be restored and better then ever before. You have a lot to learn. Go the <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> web site and order the book "How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage" If your not a reader they sell it on tape. As soon as you have completed reading this little book you need to order the "Be Encouraged" tape series. <P>I ordered the audio version and I listen to it in my car and at home. It is 16 hours of what to do or not ot do to see your marriage restored!! A friend of mine with her husband in the house testifies that these tapes are like having the "Cliff Notes" because it prepares her for the situations that are COMMON to separation and divorce. She is not caught off gurad she knows how she should respond as a Godly wife because the material is all based on scripture. <P>Do not share the material with your huband. He will immediately notice the chages in you...One last thing...your husband is not your enemy...Satan is and we are all invovled in spiritual warfare. Your husband has been taken captive by the enemy. Your only weapon is the sword that is the Word of God. What else would you want!! Get into the Word. <P>YSIC, Mrs. A<P>PS SAY NO TO COUNSELING...uncovering your husband to your family, counselors, pastors, etc is wrong...take it all to the Lord. Do not delay getting the material. You are in violation of many of the biblical principles that are outlined in these materials. <BR>

Joined: Feb 2000
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I would stick with plan "P" prayer. Dear Lord i lift my sisters marriage up to you that you Lord would now do the building of this marriage. Only you Lord can change hearts and i ask in Jesus mighty name that you would changer her hubands heart and intervien againtst the lies of the devil upon his mind and all other schemes the enemy has planned. Lord deliver her husband from depression caused by many obvious things in there lives.Lord give my sister the strenth and your love Jesus to continue to love and forgive her husband. In Jesus name Amen<BR>Trust in the Lord and ask him to love your husband thru your heart. 1 Cor 13 is some of the best counseling ive ever had. Start reading it everyday. And remember Jesus is your first Love. Get that in order and all else will follow.<BR>Mark

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Dear Friend<P>It looks to me like you have been the backstop in the home working hard and he has cheated on you<P>The Bible says if he has been unfaithful you have the right to move on or stay on your own<P>He has committed adultery, you have been lied to, cheated on, and things done behind your back<P>I think you deserve better treatment<P>I as a Christian say go out and find yourself a new man and go through the procedures where you can get counselling for your hurt and others<P>You deserve an honest open relationship with a christian man you can trust<P>Please write to me<P>Carol<BR>kidnpuppetshows@hotmail.com

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I would like to encourage and admonish you to seek the Living God for help. Trust in the Lord for the healing of your marriage. Do not ask your husband to leave, youwill regret it. Pray and fast and ask the Lord to intervene in your situation. <P>The Lord will give you the desires of your heart. <BR>I do not agree with the advise CarolBo is giving you. We have all sinned. Sin is sin. Your husband might be commiting adultery, that is a sin. If you harbor unforgiveness and resentment in your heart, that is also a sin.<P>God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16. God does not have anyone else for you. God says what He has joined together, let no man separate. God can and will restore your marriage, if you ask Him. He will come through for you.<P>Satan has been attacking marriages. I know you are hurting. Use this time to draw closer to God. God is bigger than your circumstances. If you give up, you will give satan the glory. If you persevere, God will get the glory. Satan is the one who isattacking your marriage.<P>CarolBo - I want to warn you that you are leading this person astray, and God will hold you responsible. Stop giving ungoldy avdise. Please read Malachi 2:16. Our God hates divorce.<P>What are you going to tell this person is she goes into another marriage and the same thing happen again? find another spouse? This is not God's will.<P>I would encourage you to wait on the Lord. Pray and seek the face of God. He will restore your marriage.<P>We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. Is this the way God treated us when we sin? to put us away. We serve a merciful and longsuffering God. God is patient and kind to us.<P>God may have allowed this to get your attention. It is when we are hurting that we draw closer to God. My firend, use this opportunity to draw clower to God. Only believe, He will restore your marriage. There is nothing too hard for our God. <P>When your marriage is restored, GOD will get the glory.<P>Check this site: <A HREF="http://www.marriagerestorationministries.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagerestorationministries.com</A> or marriagerestoration@msn.com - You will be encouraged. I will pray for you.<P>

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I come in to agreement with Endure. Our heavely Father sent His only Son to redeem each of us and to restore us to the Father. The "exception clause" is a slippery slope which has lead many to trepidation and unfillfulment as they continuely seek the world's option for happiness and never reach it. <P>I also believe it is irresponsible to advise a sister "to get on with her life". This is not wisdom but instead a millstone that will take her even further into dispair. A HEALED marriage NOT another marriage will bring glory to God...and many will see it come to pass in this life! "Then I will teach trangressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You". Psalm 51:13<P>LoveMess...I want to encourage you to seek the Word. Here are a couple of scriptures that have lightened my burden.<P>"The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord as are the watercourses; He turns it whichever way He will." Prov 21:1 <P>Remember it is the Lord who turns a man's heart...no matter what your husband says or how it looks in the natural God has the power to change men.<P>"Lean on, trust and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind, and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths." Prov 3:5-6<P>I made many regretable mistakes for the first year of my separation. I did not seek the wisdom of the Word. I read it but was not a doer. It was not making sense to me...HOW DO I LIVE IT OUT?? I needed specific examples, practical, biblical solutions to the problems I was encountering each day. Then I found the <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> site. Now things have turned around for me and my walk is much easier because I do not trust my feelings or what advice from others that sounds good. I search the Word and an obedient.<P>"A man's mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Prov. 16:9 THis is one of my favorites. I'm so glad to know that the Lord knows exactly where my husband needs to go so that he will come to desire the gift of repentence. The Lord knew where He had to take me. He knew what I would have to lose to bring me to my knees and to call on Him to save me!! The Lord is no respecter of persons. What He did for me He will do for my husband and yours, too!!<P>"Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand." Prov. 19:21<P>I hope you will come here searching for continued encouragement to purse a restored marriage. God Bless You. YSIC, Mrs. A<p>[This message has been edited by Allan's Rib (edited June 21, 2001).]

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Jesus had the right to divorce us. Look at what we did to Him. WE US ALL nailed Him to the cross, yet He chose to love us and die for us instead. He didnt go to the Father or a counseler or anyone and complaine about the treatment He unjustly got. He siad Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. If we are Christians than let us look to Christ as an example. Let us lay down our life for others, especially our wayward mates. If we cant forgive them, the one we have probably loved the most on this earth than who can we forgive, and how can we walk as Christ wants us too. Carlsbo, this is a place of prayer and Trust in the Lord God. We dont trust in the ways of the world, nor do we choose to walk in them. Most of us here choose to love and forgive and Know the God who is. Nothing is to great for the Lord. Carlsbo , i pray the Lord changes your heart and gives you a Godly love and teaches you how to thru Christ, forgive. If your marriage is in trouble or seems hopeless, then we will pray for you if you want.<BR>Mark

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Yes, We need lots of prayers. My H is giving up and thinks there's no hope. He said he's tried for years. Well I NEVER knew he felt this way. He thinks he changed chemically and he needs to move on with his life without me. He even is thinking he should have never married me in the first place. His emotions are leading him in a tumble and he doesn't know where to go. We need desparate help. Absolutely no one can get through his thick head. He said he feel DEAD inside. He said he feels he doesn't even want me to come home. He asks if it is a sin to stay in a marriage if you hate it. He's really messed up, even his parents say it. We need LOTS of help. Thanks, LOVEMESS <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lostpup:<BR><B>Jesus had the right to divorce us. Look at what we did to Him. WE US ALL nailed Him to the cross, yet He chose to love us and die for us instead. He didnt go to the Father or a counseler or anyone and complaine about the treatment He unjustly got. He siad Father forgive them, for they know not what they do. If we are Christians than let us look to Christ as an example. Let us lay down our life for others, especially our wayward mates. If we cant forgive them, the one we have probably loved the most on this earth than who can we forgive, and how can we walk as Christ wants us too. Carlsbo, this is a place of prayer and Trust in the Lord God. We dont trust in the ways of the world, nor do we choose to walk in them. Most of us here choose to love and forgive and Know the God who is. Nothing is to great for the Lord. Carlsbo , i pray the Lord changes your heart and gives you a Godly love and teaches you how to thru Christ, forgive. If your marriage is in trouble or seems hopeless, then we will pray for you if you want.<BR>Mark</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

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Dear Lord i lift my sister and her husband up to you. the enemy has invaded there home and the mind of her husband thru depression and lies. Lord i ask that you give my sister a heart of prayer and a heart to seek you Lord for comfort and rest. Lord i ask that you would deliver her husband from the grip of the enemy and lead him back to you Lord. I pray this marriage will now be built on the rock, Jesus Christ, Amen. Dear Love, when someone calls good evil and evil good, know the enemy has showed up and has taken advantage of depression, which is caused by a lack of trust in God. I know this to be true, cause ive suffered with severe depression most of my life and now when im fully trusting God my depression is gone. I havent attained it yet, i still have my days. Give it all to the Lord and trust Him. He is still in control, even though it doesnt seem like it.

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I am not trying to lead this person astray and I think pointing people out to her who are wrong is just making her more downhearted<P>Don't you care enough about her<P>What will you do if she gives her husband another chance and finds out he had slept with this girl and gives her a disease sexually transmitted Aids or anything else<P>Will you then pray to God to heal her<P>The bible says Yes that God hates divorce but does say that if the partner commits adultery the other partner has the right to file for divorce and re-marry<P>Think of this lady's health please which determines her future Not just a small piece of the Bible you are trying to spoon forcefully in to her mouth<P>Let's hope by now that she has not listened and taken him back to find warts and diseases and then cannot turn to anyone for help but hope for the doctor's cure<P>She does not need to see people fighting over her<P>Think of her health<P>If she gets a sexually transmitted disease that can kill her because she listened to take him back after a possible affair and who knows possibly sexual her life will be ruined due to one mistake<P>Give her her space as her feelings are telling her something is wrong and she is protecting herself by looking to us readers for help<P>I suggest she takes him to the doctor with her for a total all over checkup and to make sure she is not at any risk before accepting him back<P>I pray for protection of her feelings and put her first, not one little verse you have pulled out of the Bible to rebuke me with and to mislead her with<P>Put her first as she is entitled to it<P>She does not have to resume any marital rights till an ultimatum of acceptable behaviour is resumed by her husband<P>And in the end it is her choice<P>Divorce is too and I am not telling her to do so<P>It is her legal right if she finds out from the medical examination that I suggest her and her husband to go for, to choose if she wants out or not<P>She does not have to stay in a life of hell and no time given to her by her husband all because of one Bible quoted verse<P>She is human and not God but a child of God<P>In Christian love, respect, honouring what I have read in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com</A> saying the couple need 40 hours per week together and good conversation<P>CarolBo Proudly<BR><P>------------------<BR>Carol the friend

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You truly are a commited christian here and I respect you for that and the preaching you have put in here is wonderful but the lady has come to this coloum hoping to have her needs met by people who can answer her questions and feelings of insecurity<P>She is feeling threatened by this other lady and knows that her marriage needs repair and is brave enough in her tired and worn out state of mind to come to ask for help<P>She mentions that her husband cancelled a doctor's appointment and there is a reason from him<P>I feel her health emotionally and physically has the right to a doctor's opinion and God gives us doctors to help us medically and feel strongly that her husband should come honestly to the pastor and doctor and prove he is innocent or why is he cancelling<P>I feel she should refrain from all physical involvement with him until a doctor and pastor is seen by both of them<P>How much more can anyone expect her to endure<P>She is being abused by her husband emotionally and feels cheated<P>I am saying that Divorce is hated by God but is permitted when adultery is present and that she must go over with her Pastor as he is the only one who can help her there<P>She does not have to stay in her houndbox and be the obedient quiet wife when she is a beautiful woman on the outside and feeling like hell fire on the inside all because of a few kind Christians like you trying to guide her with Biblical words which I have read and absorbed too, but feel her physical condition must be examined by the doctor after all God said our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and she is protecting that by the alarm of this foreign girl in their marriage that might lead her husband astray as stated in Proverbs where the woman's mouth is as smooth as olive oil and she leads him into sin<P>That is what this woman is afraid of<P>I stand by her firmly<P>I feel she must not go to the lawyer, but first to the doctor with her husband and even without if necessary at first but he must put his cards on the table and show if he is honest by coming there to be examined and then both to the pastor so she can tell her story and he his<P>I place my full trust in the pastor and in God and know that God is not cross with me for telling her divorce is the last way out but her choice together with the Pastor if there is reasonable adulterous grounds as the Pastor will determine as on the article she wrote is only a fraction of the whole story, and the Pastor will see her in person and find out more of the facts and hopefully from him if he is honest enough<P>I refuse to protect the actions of the Devil through people who neglect their wives and go to bars with a woman tempting him to go astray on the outside, and then preach to the woman to be faithful and stay at home and wait for him and don't think of divorce<P>It is her choice, after her seeing the doctor, then the pastor who is more qualified than any of us, because he will obtain the whole story from her and him and is in a much better position than us to direct her what to do<P>From me it was a last resort for her<P>I rather she be on her own and not abused than to be abused and live like an emotional punch bag<P>She belongs to Christ just like all of us<P>I will not tell her to stay in her corner and tolerate<BR>abuse I will tell her I am her friend and to put herself<BR>first<P>CarolBo<BR>(ex-badly abused wife and 17 years of hell)<BR>

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Mark thank you for that prayer and I agree with your prayer and stand together with you asking Jesus to change his mind and his heart and to be more faithful to her and to love her and give her the security she deserves<P>The Bible commands us to love each other and husbands love your wives<P>Thank you Mark<P>I feel safe as a christian with your commend I read and feel you are a spiritual leader<P>Thank God for Christian Soldiers like you who are a leader in prayer for us who need it<P>CarolBo

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I stand in faith with this prayer and agree on it<P>I pray that God will bring him back home and pray that he has not been physically involved with her<P>I pray for unity in their marriage and a blessed future<P>Carol

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Carol, i am here if you need prayer and support. Im sure you have gone thru a lot yourself, or you wouldnt be here. I dont believe the bible says divorce is ok after adultery. We all have commited adultery on the Lord and have been unfaithful to him and Jesus came to start a New Covenant with His people. Moses permitted divorce because of our hardened hearts, but that is not what God intended from the begining. If we are to live our lives in christ, we are to allow his love to work strenth in our hearts. We are to trust God and forgive our mates as He has forgiven our unfaithfulness towards Him. As far as getting disease's go, will not God honor our faith? My wife has hepititis C and its a killer, yet i dont have it and should. God will honor all those who trust in him and not in anything else nor the possibilities. Im not telling anybody to be unwise, their mates need to get checked and they need to see the bill of health by all means. I did this with my own wife. But generally speaking hep c isnt sexually transmitted. she got it sharing needles. All i know is Jesus was crucified on the cross for our sins. They tortured and killed him and He had the power to destroy them all in a flash. He choose instead to lay His life down for them that killed Him as well as us for even our sins hung Him on the cross. God is in control of our lives and health also. Nothing will happen to us that God wont allow. If we choose to honor Him with our lives, we will be eternally rewarded. To many look at the temporal. Some of us may put ourselves at risk, here on earth, but we are building treasures in heaven and they last forever.<BR>Mark<p>[This message has been edited by Lostpup (edited June 29, 2001).]

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I think there is no need to rush into anything. As long as you can mentally handle him in your house, let him stay. If you start to become sick, miss work, can't take care of yourself and medicine doesn't help, then maybe separation is an option. It has to be carefully and slowly considered.<P>It is a terrible situation to be in, but the good part is receiving gifts from the Lord and the Holy Spirit which more than compensate for the pain.<P>God bless you and strengthen you through this horrible trial.


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