Dear friends,<BR> I was doing sooo well yesterday! Today is another day!! I was *extremely* angry at my H for leaving and leaving me with all this today...I could barely thank God that He didn't abandon me...<P>THEN, the most amazing thing happened! Apparently, my H called my cell phone! At least, I THINK he did!! Dad-gum cell phones and voice mail thingy's!! I can't really tell if he responded to a voice mail I left on HIS phone (3 weeks ago), or if he just called today. Anyway, there he is!! It says there's a voice mail, but it's just his name, he spoke his name into my voice mail. Not too friendly, eh?<P>I'm "afraid" to call him back. I'm afraid he wants me to hurry up and sign the div. papers!! I know I shouldn't be "afraid" - I should trust God. But it's different when it's your OWN situation...suddenly you can't see it as clearly as you see everyone else's!! <P>Please lift us up in prayer tonight. I have to pray first before I call him, steel myself in case that IS why he is calling....if it's anything else, I can handle it. If it's that, I know I'll come apart.<P>Thank you for your prayers. I know God is in control, I just lost my way for a little bit!<BR>Lupo

Dear Lupo, it goes with the territory. Yesterday i was discouraged to the point of just wanting to die again. I accused God of child neglect.(me) I finally broke down and prayed and His peace finally broke thru. Dear Lord, i pray that you would give my sister rest in her trials and encouragment when shes hurting or being attacked from the enemy, cause the enemy hates you being glorified oh Lord. Lord help us in our lack of fully trusting you. Lord it is so hard when we are in great pain and heartbreak. Lord i know you understand what we are going thru. Dear Lord help us know you better. Lord i pray that we as your children know how high, wide and deep your love really is. Lord your word says you will do more than we ever hoped for or imagined. I pray for strenth for my sister and all my brethern in our painful and heartbreaking circumstances that Lord you would see us thru and carry us during our times of doubt and sorrow. Deliver us and our mates from evil.In Jesus name, amen<BR>Mark

Thanks, Mark<BR> BTW - As it turns out, apparently (I talked to someone from the phone service dept.), H was going through his messages (just NOW listening to messages from 3 weeks ago?!?!?!) and tried to delete my message, and instead of "7" for delete, he hit "8" for reply. That's why my message came back to me...<P>OK, I wasn't too upset over that, I'm thinking to myself, at least he finally heard it (it was strictly business, a financial question I needed answered), but apparently he DIDN"T EVEN LISTEN TO IT. My Voicemail told me the message hadn't been sent - so I'm guessing that means he deleted it, or tried to, without even listening to it... <P>That did upset me, until I remembered what I had told you, Mark, just a few days ago...how the devil works extra hard just before there's going to be a breakthrough! Glory!!!<P>So I got over being sad, upset and feeling hopeless, and started praising God!! It was as if God had sent me a message!! At least my H knew when I had contacted him, he saw my name and number on his phone. Even if he DIDN"T listen to the message, God had sent "me" as a message to his heart.....Praise God!!!<P>I'm still praying for you, too. Your situation is SO close to a turn-around. I know it is...keep faithful, keep strong in the Lord, Mark. It's goiing to happen. ALSO, keep praying for your little boy!! He needs to feel God's love for him, too, in all this.<P>Lupo<BR>