Been reading here for 6 weeks, since my husband first left, and then had A. Been married 7 years - together for 11. I don't want to tell my story right now. But I want to thank everyone for their contributions to the forum. This place is wonderful and has really helped me the last few weeks. I pray for all of you, and please pray for me too. I am very discouraged today. I know in my heart that God is in control, but I still feel down, rejected, and hopeless sometimes. I love my H so much, and I refuse to passively sit and let him throw it all away. Much prayer, working on myself, and we're going to counseling.<P>Please pray that he come out of his fog soon, and that I continue to have strength and peace that God is in control of this. thank you<P>------------------<BR>Faith1

Dear Lord, i pray that you give Fatih1 the strenth and rest to make it thru her trials. Lord i pray that you would encourage her along the way, when she wants to give up. Lord, i lift her husband and marriage up to you that you would build it now Lord, so it will stand againts the winds of the enemy. We praise you Jesus for dying for us and never leaving or forsaking us. In Jesus name, Amen<BR>Mark

<B>Been reading here for 6 weeks, since my husband first left, and then had A.<BR></B>[/QUOTE]<P>Faith, you and I are on exactly the same time table. My H has been gone exactly 6 weeks, too. I have read, and learned, still learning about myself, and what God wants me to do. I found that the ONLY thing I can do right now is pray! This is not all bad....I'm drawing closer to God, and that can only be good.<P>I have been praying for H, specific prayers like his "going to God, seeking God's will for his life, coming out of the fog" etc. Well, I had a MAJOR eye-opening experience yesterday in the bookstore. I picked up a christian book about restoring one's marriage, and in it, it talked about PRAYING FOR your H!! I mean, just regular prayer!! Like you'd do everyday anyway!! I guess I was so busy praying for his reconciliation with me and with God, and it didn't occur to me that I was still his WIFE and was still expected by God to ACT like it!! In other words, PRAY for my H!! Pray for his health, his protection from attacks from the world, his thoughts, doing well on the job, etc. This has been a comfort to me. It has made me feel closer to him even tho we are not in communication right now. I know God knows exactly where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking with, etc. I know God will bring a Godly man or counselor into his life when the time comes to talk to, who will guide him back to his marriage. In the meantime, since we are still married part of ACTING like his wife is to continue to pray for him, not just for coming out of the fog, but everyday stuff too! <BR>I got a lot of comfort from that. I thought maybe you'd like to consider that, too.<P>I will pray for you to understand that praying in the Spirit is HARDLY considered being passive! This is a spiritual battle for out marriages. Satan hates christian marriages, and he'll do whatever he can to tear them up. BUT God hates divorce!! And, well, you already know who will win this one, we've seen the last chapter of the book!!<P>When you say that you will "continue to have strength and peace..." all I can say is "WOW"!! you are doing much better than I am if you have continued to have peace...I struggle about once an hour with this!! I truly let Satan blow me whichever way the wind is blowing sometimes. I guess I need prayer, too! Faith, we're in this together, lots of great prople on this forum. We can defeat the enemy!! <P>"Where two or three are gathered..." <P>Lupo<P>P.S. Thanks, Mark! I know you are faithful to the end in your prayers.

You are in the right place. Keep up the good work.

Thank you all for your encouragement. I woke up so depressed this morning. I basically "gave up" and finally gave it all to God. I have been trying to let go, but I have still been trying to hold on to it and I keep getting in God's way. Finally, I think I really let go. I asked God to take away my depression, motivate me to enjoy my work, and change my H's heart. I just couldn't do it alone!! I'm not going to tell you it was like a miracle or anything - nothing happened right there in my shower! But I throughly enjoyed a meeting today at work, and got very interested in a new project. Then after lunch, my H called and we had such a pleasant conversation. (Plan A) Wow! It's really amazing what God will do when He KNOWS that we fully trust Him! Some people would say, that all I did was quit worrying and trying so hard, and was able to enjoy a natural, normal day. But I know what I've been through and I know it is God carrying me.<P>Just a few steps up my mountain... there's a long way to the top of this one! Tomorrow will be hard - July 4th without my sweetie. I miss him so much....<P>Thanks to everyone on this wonderful MB. I pray that God move this mountain for all of us, or give us strength to climb it! <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<p>[This message has been edited by Faith1 (edited July 03, 2001).]

<B>I basically "gave up" and finally gave it all to God<BR></B>[/QUOTE]<BR>Faith, I'm glad you are trusting God. I am having a daily struggle with this. I find that when I am CLOSE to God, the trusting Him is easy! When I start to fade away, or let my thoughts be taken away from His will, that the ENEMY invades my thoughts and pulls me into a despair again.<BR> I found a wonderful site that you should look at (maybe you've already been there). It's RejoiceMinistries.org. I LOVE this site!! They are a christian couple who went through this type of "trial" - were divorced and remarried! The greatest thing is the "Stander's Prayer" at the Home Page of their site. With extreme apologies to the Steinkamp's, I would like to post Charlyne's "Stander's Prayer":<P>I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE....I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til the healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trust GOD, and said the words, and meant the words...in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!<BR>I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous...nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!<BR>In a world of filth, I will stay pure, surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God; where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and when the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness. <BR>I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit...I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.<BR>I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.<P>God Bless <BR>Lupo<BR>

ThanksLupo! That is wonderful! I will check it out and pray this prayer. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1

Another good site is <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org." TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org.</A> I check it out everyday, they have so much and the materials are great. I also go to the rejoice site and get Charlynes devotionals. They are very good too. I believe you can set up a phone counsel session for any donation. Charlyne really does care.<BR>Don't give up just stand strong. I was divorced in February, but still believing the Lord will restore.<P>Lupo-what book were you talking about earlier at the bookstore about praying for the H?<BR>Barb

I messed up tonight. We had a meeting with COunselor and he tried to push H into a corner - or off the fence I guess. Either he give up his OW completely or we should stop counseling until he decides what he wants becauase we're wasting time and $. Ugh. I knew it was necessary, Tough Love and all that, but I just wanted to melt into the floor. H chose to think about it - we'd better not make another appointment right now. Then ask me WHY I went to dinner with him anyway - dumb dumb - still trying to Plan A I guess until I had time to think about it and check here. Dinner was awkward, but afterwards at the car, I lost it and got into the whole crying/ discussion thing. I probably blew it. He didn't get mad, but we ended the conversation not on a good note. <P>I need super-prayers now! I had promised God and myself that I would stay out of His way, but I truly felt at the time that I needed to say how I felt. ugh. Boy, we need super-prayers. I can't handle this. I don't know how long I can hold on. I want to be so angry and hateful to H. I may go vent on the GQII board..... Not sure if I need to move to Plan B or not. I am so upset, but scared it is too soon for Plan B. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1

I am in a similar situation (other topics= No OM ...But wife not attracted). It is hard for me also. Know that you are not alone. God does not give us more than we can handle (this I am having a tough time with). My faith is holding. Satan is working to destroy the things that keep us going. Through prayer and his help we will get through this. <P>Lord be with us, guide and protect us. Know that we are striving to do your will. Please ease the pain in our hearts, for it can be so overwhelming. Please watch over our spouses. Help to let your light in there hearts. These thing we pray in Jesus name. Amen<P>Mr. Lee

<B><BR>Lupo-what book were you talking about earlier at the bookstore about praying for the H?<BR>Barb</B>[/QUOTE]<P>"The Power of A Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartin. It is excellent! I am praying the prayers everyday for my H, even tho I DON"T KNOW about his job, his health, his self-esteem issues, etc. I think it helps me feel "connected" to him somehow, and I think I am staying in God's will, since I AM still his W and am supposed to pray for him everyday.<P>Faith, just keep Plan A'ing. You'll know when it's time for Plan B. It's too soon yet, I suspect.<P>Mr. Lee, you are absolutely correct! We get sidetracked by Satan, and then our faith wavers, and THEN GOD CAN'T WORK!!! We can hold each other up, and stay strong in the Lord together. "Where 2 or 3 are gathered together in my name..."<P>Thank you, Jesus. You died for us, you redeemed us to give us your Kingdom. Lord, help us to act like Princes and Princesses, worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. Help us, Lord to stay strong for your will in our lives. Bind Satan, and send him into the Pit of Hell. Bind his devastating work among Christian families. Lord, we trust your promises to heal our marriages and our families. Thank you, Lord, that you are true to your promises, not making them and changing your mind daily. We trust you to fulfill your promises to us, ALL OF THEM. Make us strong witnesses of your miracles for our marriages.<BR>We know all men will bow down and worship the mighty mane of Jesus. Therefore, we pray in the name of Jesus for our marriages and our faith to know our battle is yours, and it is already won! Amen<BR>Lupo<BR>