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#339175 07/02/01 05:45 PM
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To those who would help I need help.<BR>something terrible happen in my marriage i want my wife to know how sorry i am for what i did. Let me tell you about her she is the perfect wife she tried so hard to give life to our kids and i took that for granted. we argued over money i lied to her about things. since this has come out i am seeing therepist for help. but i need to know where to start with getting my wife back we are leaving in the same house i am in the basement i want to know where do i start do i let her talk first or do i need to start the healing what i did was bad. <BR>i really need some advice i love my wife so much the anger she has for me is eating me up how long does it take to get started i love her and i never stopped loving her. i made a bad mistake and it was bad but there has to be something left she loved me but i dont know anymore.

#339176 07/02/01 09:14 PM
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Just keep praying and seeking God Mike. Your wife needs to see a true change in you and not hear it. My wife is the one who messed up, but i also had to face what i did in our marriage and what the Lord wanted to work on in me. I had to learn to forgive. Unforgivness and unfaithfulness are both sin and equal in the eyes of the Lord. I pray that the Lord would draw closer to you and you Him. I pray the Lord would heal you of the damage done to yourself and your wife. I pray the Lord would soften your wifes heart and she would give her bitterness, anger and unforgivness to the Lord and know that Jesus suffered greatly for us and yet forgave us. In Jesus name, Amen. Keep praying for God to soften her heart and keep growing in the Lord.<BR>Mark

#339177 07/02/01 10:28 PM
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thanks lostpup i hope to get more prayers for my family. we have two kids and all i think about is them they are great my kids are the light of God in everyway if i had to i would give my life for them. <BR>you know what i know is this i had promised myself that i would never do this to my wife and here i sit knowing that i did and it just makes me sick i love her so much i dont know where i went wrong she looks at me now and does not know if she can trust me that is the worst you know all i ever wanted was to love her and take good care of her i have failed misserbly. i pray that god will allow me a second chance i will never do something so terrible in my life. i pray he gives me this chance to show him and her and her family that i am a very good person and can be that person they loved again i know it will take time but that is all i ask for the chance to show them i am a good person.<BR>not being able to hold her and hug her is just so hard i want so much to just sit and cry and tell her how much she has given me and that she can trust me again i made a huge mistake and just want to make amends for that mistake. <BR>

#339178 07/03/01 01:34 AM
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These situations take time. Its been over 3 years and i still dont fully trust my wife. We are still seperated, but i have forgiven her and love her dearly. Im the one who wanted reconcilliation, yet im the one who should of left. I had to face my own faultsin our marriage and let God deal with her. Part of the reason my wife hasnt come back yet is the extream guilt she feels. She needs to let it go and know the past is gone. You need to do the same. God has forgiven you, it make take your wife a while, and you need to accept Gods forgiveness, instead of dwelling on your sin all the time. Your wife may only see that as your trying to convince her you have changed overnight, and she isnt going to buy it until she sees it, and for an extended period of time. Is your wife a christian? If so i pray God shows her what He has done for her and all that He has forgiven her for. You cant tell her. She wont listen to you right now. You can only pray God softens her heart, and you need to grow in Christ until your wife sees Christ in you. Keep continuing in the faith. Trust God to forgive you and restore your marriage. Be patient with her. You can still do things for her, like give her cards and tell her you will do whatever it takes to be the man of God He created you to be. Try to hold her hand if she will let you and tell her you love her. If she is having a bad day ask her if you can hug her and tell her you love her. If she wont let you near her right now, do these things when you see her heart softening. Dear Lord, i ask that you would give Mike the patience and wisdom to walk in your ways and trust you to lead him on the road to restoration. Soften his wifes heart and let her receive his love and repentance as you receive it Lord. I pray your peace covers this marriage and family and that you Lord would be first in their marriage so the enemy can no longer move in and destroy it.In Jesus name, Amen <BR>Mark

#339179 07/03/01 07:28 AM
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Before I give comment may I ask if you had a sexual affair<P>Carol<P>

#339180 07/03/01 08:40 AM
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One way to let her know how you feel without overpowering her or putting her on the spot is to put your feelings down on paper. I would start by expressing the same feelings you have expressed on this forum. That way she can digest things at her own pace and not feel pressure from you. It will also help you by being able to express what you are holding in so much. I will pray for you and your family.

#339181 07/03/01 11:19 PM
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Praise God!!! Your still under the roof! WOW, what an awesome opportunity to witness the power of your Creator to heal your marriage!! I beseech you to go immediately to <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> and learn the biblical principles to guide you in reconciliation. <P>I want to give you hope and encouragement that you can have a marrigage better then you could dream. Got to this web site and get the men's materials...read the testimonies. <P>I am a witness to how this material (GOD) is being used to work in broken marriages. Get hold of this material and let God get hold of you! <P>Mrs. A.<p>[This message has been edited by Allan's Rib (edited July 03, 2001).]

#339182 07/03/01 03:26 PM
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thank you so much to all of you so far. saw the doctor today and she said the same thing that i have got to show my wife not just say look i have changed. she said that my therepy is going well i am far from being a perfect human being but i am no menace to society either just confused and working to resolve some problems from my childhood.<BR>please God i pray for you to come into my heart and take my life over lead me in the correct footsteps that you have chosen. make me a better husband and father than i have been i want to be the man that my wife needs not what i have been please guide me to be that man. i put my soul and body in your hands guide me now. please help my wife to see you again please reach out to her now and let your love shine on her. if there is a person on this planet that desearves to have a place next to you it is her i belong in hell not her she has never betray you or your word she is the one that brought me to you. and watch over my family as we need you beside us now more than ever. <BR>in your name i pray amen<BR>father, son, holy spirit

#339183 07/09/01 04:04 AM
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I think it's okay to cry to her if the kids are not there. I think you need to get it out. I agree with Janie that you can write down those things you said here and give it to her, telling her you know it will take time to forgive you but you hope she can.<P>Are there any amends you can make? <P>


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