Hi everyone-<P>I don't post very often, but I do check the prayer request board pretty often. I check it mostly for the words of encouragement that I often find here in different posts.<P>Lately, I have become very discouraged in my situation because I feel as though my case is the worst there is. What can be worst than a husband that not only commits adultery against me, but gets the other woman pregnant as well and then moves her in with him and has no desire to restore his marriage?<P>I come here hoping to find a post from someone who has the same circumstances in their situation as I do whose marriage has been restored but to no avail. Maybe my case truly is a hopeless case.<BR>

<B>I feel as though my case is the worst there is. What can be worst than a husband that not only commits adultery against me, but gets the other woman pregnant as well and then moves her in with him and has no desire to restore his marriage?<BR>Maybe my case truly is a hopeless case.</B><BR>Hi, Roxy,<BR>I just wanted to let you know you are not here alone. It's going to be a very long week, I suspect, because a LOT of people are going to go away....I'll be here all day tomorrow, then going to visit family myself for a couple of days.<BR> I don't believe there IS a "hopeless case" on this board. I've seen and heard some cases that made me cry. I realize my situation isn't unique, or even as bad as some. I think your situation is quite bad, HOWEVER, I have seen some like it on here. Please DO NOT lose your hope....I HAVE seen recovery situations like yours. I read everywhere, not just on Prayer Requests...maybe I read about another one similar to yours on GQII or Just Found OUt. I can't remember, sorry! <BR> I just know God doesn't quit on us. WE need to remember that HE is still in charge, and He hates divorce!! Please remember that. Someone very wise just told me today that we forget that "divorce" is not a sin....adultery is!!! See? Adultery is a sin, AND ALL SIN CAN BE/IS FORGIVEN!! That's great news!! If our WS's can be forgiven for their actions, then our marriages are restored....divorce shouldn't even be a consideration, and if it is, then you are free to do that if you choose and not be guilty of sin.<BR> Please continue to read and post here. It has been a great source of strength and comfort for me. I'm sure others will post when they get back from their holiday and see your post.<BR> Keep the faith, and I'll keep praying for you.<BR>Lupo<P>

Hi Roxy, your case isnt hopeless.Ive known men that have raised children that werent theirs because their wives had an affair, and they got past it. Even Hosea in the bible raised children that his wife had that he knew wasnt his and he loved them as his own. I believe 2 out of his 3 children were from Gomer's affairs. My situation has been one of the worst, just ask anybody here. After 3 years of hopelessness and hell, my wife and i are slowly putting our marriage and family back together. My wife has done somethings that we will have to live with the rest of our lives. She has Hepitits C and cirrosis of the liver. she doesnt have many years left now. I may very well have Hep C now. I got a bad heart from it all. Our lives are a mess that most would say is hopeless, but i trust in God. Im financially ruined also. Ive grown close to the Lord and He will work out all things for the good of those who love him. As long as we have breath, we have hope. Sometimes i dont feel like i have much hope here on earth, but i have eternal hope with no more tears, that i cant even comprehend. You have that hope also, and thats more hope than most may ever have. Trust God to put it all together. He will.He is still in compleate control of our lives. Keep praying and never give up. You will grow closer to the Lord also in the process and find the peace of the Lord, that will grow in time.<BR>Mark

Lupo and Mark-<P>Thanks so much for your words of encouragement. Sometimes I hope that this is all a bad dream and I will wake up in bed next to my husband then, reality sits in and I realize that this is not a dream and I'm lying in bed all alone. Like many of you, I just can't believe this is my life and I'm just suppose to pick up the pieces and move forward. It's so much easier said than done.

Roxy, for the One who made the stars and planets, do you really believe this is hopeless?? No, you don't or you wouldn't be here, right? <P>I suggest you invoke the Holy Spirit. I recently went on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. We prayed and prayed to the Holy Spirit and I never felt better in my whole life.<P>My situation hasn't changed and I'm sad about that but my spirit is healing. <P>Holy Spirit of the Living God, NOTHING is impossible for You. Our circumstances can be changed any minute but our souls are eternal. Please give Roxy the strength, the courage and the peace she needs in her heart to fulfill the mission which You set aside for her on this earth. You see the eternal consequences of our lives, which we cannot imagine. Grant Roxy and all of us the love and patience and above all the faith to see us through. Thank You for all Your gifts which You have granted us. Lead us all to communion with You. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.

Tryingtohope-<P>Thanks so much for that wonderful prayer.<P>My husband called me last Saturday night for the first time in months. He said he was just calling to say hi and see how I was doing. I was so shocked to hear that it was him, I didn't have time to be rude or nasty. Anyway, today my step-son is coming over to visit and spend the night. I haven't seen him or my husband since November 2000. Even if my marriage is never restored, I'm thankful in that I will still be able to maintain my relationship with my step-son. I want him to know that I still love him and always will. Even though he's just my step-son and not my biological son, I love him just the same. When my husband and I began dating he(my step-son) was 5 years old and now he's 11, so we've developed a relationship as well. <P>Please pray that our visit together will go well and that my husband won't see me, but he'll see Jesus who lives inside of me.

Hi Roxy, I think your visit went well, didn't it? It is so important that you love your stepson and he feels your love. I imagine that this love covers him and comforts him even when he doesn't see you. He is a lucky boy to have you!

Tryingtohope-<P>Praise the Lord! My visit with my stepson was truly a success. We had a great time together. He didn't want to leave. When we had breakfast together Sunday morning, I asked him to say the grace and he thanked God for being able to spend time with me.<P>The only thing that hurt me a bit was when he mistakenly called me by the other woman's name that his father(my husband)is living with. I just pretended that I didn't hear it.

Roxy, I'm so glad that your visit was a success. I was sure it would be by the words you wrote about how you love him. I'm so glad he felt your love and was so happy to spend time with you that he told you. He must feel close to you to be able to tell you that.<P>

Roxy,<BR> This is truly great news!!! It's amazing, we are so despondent and then the Lord opens up the heavens and pours out a blessing on us, and we remember why we're here praying and waiting!!<BR> I believe this is a "foot in the door" and your H will want his son to spend more and more time with you, until he himself is ready to do the same!! Hang in there, it's coming!<BR> Our Father, thank you for your blessing upon Roxy. Thank you Father, that you are faithful to us, that you love us, and that you gave us your capacity to love others, even when they reject it....it is this attitude that will win over our WS's. Please let them see YOU, Father, and not ourselves (and certainly not our OLD selves that they ran away from!!). Praise you, Lord, that the Creator of the Universe cares enough to give us a blessing just when we need one. We all rejoice over this one small (is there such a thing?) miracle.<BR> It is in the Name above all names, in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior that we pray. Amen.<P>Lupo

Tryingtohope and Lupo-<P>I am also thankful to Father God that my time with my stepson as well as my husband went well. I guess I need to be careful of the words I speak for spoken words can bring things into existence. They can bring good as well as bad.<P>Please pray for the spirit of fear to be removed from my life. I don't want to read more into the phone calls and the visit from my stepson, but I can't help but think that maybe this means there is hope for us. I have led many people who know about my situation to believe that I no longer want my marriage, but the truth of the matter is I still very much want my marriage to be restored. Not just for me, but so I can be a testimony to others who may be going through the same thing. <P>When it's all said and done, I want God and only God to get the glory. Why can't I just walk away and let this marriage go? I quess I just don't want to see the devil win by keeping what he stole from me. I want God to give me back all the time the devil stole. Although I don't want to get hurt again, my desire to have my marriage restored is greater than the fear of being hurt again. I can't help wanting to try even in my situation. What if my husband has some hidden agenda or motive behind why he called? Suppose he's up to no good. How will I know so I don't find myself in the same situation as before? <P>Sometimes I don't know what I want which may be the reason why God has not answered my prayer. I mean what could we possibly look forward to as a couple now? He already has a girl and a boy so it won't be children. So really there's nothing else. Me having a child for him would be no big deal.

Roxy, life is so great and so full of adventure when you walk with Jesus. Don't even let those thoughts enter your mind.<P>You are special and God loves you. He has all sorts of surprises in store for you and they will just overwhelm you. Hold on and keep praying.

Roxy, you are doing well and understand the Lords will. Our minds will tell us why cant we give up cause we want to so bad. But Gods Holy Spirit becomes stronger than our flesh when we walk with Him and its His spirit that keeps us pushing on for Gods glory. Many give the devil to much credit when its just our flesh that tires of the pain and wants to feel good again apart from Gods peace. Our flesh and minds are constantly looking for a way out cause we live in an instant gratification society. God is changing many of us, and unfortunantly for most of us here, its thru the destrution of our marriages. But the good news is God can turn ashes into His glory and i believe that is what He will do for those of us that continue to pray and trust Him with all our hearts. Most of us cant honestly say Jesus was first in our lives nor marriages. God thru our trials wants to change that. As far as our words go, many take that wrong. Gods word is the all powerful word. Ours is not. God looks to our hearts. Our words need to reflect a heart of God. That takes time. Job said cursed is the day he was born and ive said it myself. That was out of pain and God didnt condemn Job for what he said out of immense pain. Look at how his life ended. God also didnt hold it againts Jobs wife for telling Job to curse God and die. Many forget she lost her 10 children and basically her husband at the time. She was the one whom gave him 10 more children and she shared in Jobs blessings. God sees the heart, and has great grace and mercy on us when we are in pain. Let us continue to draw nearer to Him. Thats all God really wants. I pray that Gods spirit would grow in us as our selfishness would decrease. Let us continue to put our faith and trust in God. He is faithful, even when we are faithless. He carries us when we can no longer carry the cross. Remember Jesus collapsed under the load of the cross and couldnt carry it the rest of the way. He was crucified and He is risen. We may be crucified, but He will rise in our hearts. Gods name will be glorified. It all may seem out of Gods control, but it isnt. God is always in control and He wants us to learn to fully trust in Him. His strenth will carry us thru everything we face in this short life. The Lord counts many of us here worthy to bear His cross. Let us lay down our lives for our mates.<BR>Mark

Hello All-<P>I haven't had a chance to respond to your last responses, however, I am thankful for your support and prayers.<P>It appears as though I am going through yet another test. Since my husband and I separated, I have had to stand my ground on 3 different occaisions concerning being with another man. Although my husband has committed and still continues to committ adultery against me, I know that doesn't give me the right to do the same thing. Recently, I met another man and for the first time I'm finding that I'm attracted to him as much as he is attracted to me. I know I don't have a right to date, but I just feel as though it's so unfair for me to let a good man pass me by when my husband is out having a good time with someone else and not giving me a second thought.<P>Roxy

Roxy, im sure there isnt a person here who is standing for there marriages that the devil hasnt made deals or put people in our paths to turn us away from standing. You have to expect members of the opposite sex to come into your life that you will be attracted to. Thats a given and the enemy is all to willing to make it happen. The first lie he tells you is it is so unfair that they are doing it and getting away with it and they are the ones hurting you, so why not be with someone that will love you back. What if Jesus told the father how unfair it was that they were dragging him off to the cross to crucify Him, and that He wanted the father to destroy them for such unfairness and attrocities. We wouldnt have salvation today. Yet Jesus rose from the dead. The enemy didnt kill Him and knew he couldnt. The enemy wanted Jesus to destroy them before they crucified Him becasue the devil knew God wouldnt get any glory then and thus we wouldnt have salvation. God is the same, yesterday, today and forever. He doesnt change, and neither does our enemy. If Gods name is going to be glorified, the enemy will try and stop it. I pray that your hearts desire is to glorify Gods name and that you draw nearer to the Lord thru your trials and find His strenth when your own fails you. In Jesus name, Amen<BR>mark

Roxy -<P>Your timing is really incredible. I've just been having the same test the last two days. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak... We all want hugs and affection and to feel attractive. It's human. I'm not attracted to anyone in particular, but I've been having two days of wanting to be attractive - but what for?? It's just going to chip away at my desire to stand. (It already has because I didn't stop the attack right at the start but allowed myself to wallow in it a little.)<P>We have to keep reminding ourselves that we're taking the narrow road. If we can resist these attacks and seek out the affection of children, friends of the same sex, the elderly or disabled, we are going to glorify God. So of course, the snake wants to pull on us to make us forget those goals and the goal of restoring our marriage.<P>Don't worry about this particular guy because the day you decide you want someone else, you will have no trouble finding someone else. But is that what you truly want? Do you want to date a lot of people? What for?<P>I think our pride gets so damaged that we want to reaffirm that we are able to attract others - but to be honest, anybody can attract others. What's a challenge is maintaining a marriage, not attracting others or dating.<P>God is closest to us when we are humble. I think that's why these attacks are so strong because they appeal straight to our pride.<P>I hope you have the strength to reject these attacks and continue your stand. I know it's hard - believe me!! But I also think it's right, don't you? If we give up now, we are openly telling God that we don't trust Him. <P>How can we not trust Him when He can do anything He wants?<P>God our Father in Heaven - look down and have mercy on us. We are really weak these days and have accidentally opened ourselves up to attack by Your little enemy. Please enclose us with Your love and strength and give us signs that we are on the right track. Increase our faith and trust in You. We don't want to insult You by our lack of faith but we are so weak in this area. Thank you.

Everyone-<P>I GIVE UP! I can't name one area of my life that doesn't suck right now. I have prayed and cried, and prayed and cried, but to no avail. The more I pray, the worse things get. The only prayers I pray that get answered are the prayers I pray for others. However, when it comes to my own personal prayer requests, I get nothing. I would at least like to know that the answer is no. That way, at least I know that God is listening and has taken into consideration what I have asked for, but instead all I get is silence. Oh well, whatever will be, will be.

Everyone-<P>I GIVE UP! I can't name one area of my life that doesn't suck right now. I have prayed and cried, and prayed and cried, but to no avail. The more I pray, the worse things get. The only prayers I pray that get answered are the prayers I pray for others. However, when it comes to my own personal prayer requests, I get nothing. I would at least like to know that the answer is no. That way, at least I know that God is listening and has taken into consideration what I have asked for, but instead all I get is silence. Oh well, whatever will be, will be.

Dear Roxy, That last post is a carbon copy of where i have been at times in my trials. I also said almost if not the same exact thing word for word and more than once. I think it is a good place to be, cause its the point where we have too much to handle and God will step in and encourage you soon. Trust Him for this. I dont like going thru this anymore than you or any of us do. But i know the truth is if we dont go thru it our faith and trust in the Lord wont grow. Its the place where we start to trust in God more, than in our circumstances. It is a very hard place but i can testify that it works. <P>Dear Lord, i lift my sister Roxy up to you that you would comfort her and give her rest from her trials in your sweet presence. Lord i would ask that you would soon greatly encourage Roxy to press on in the direction you would have her go in. Lord she is at her limit to all she can handle and i just stand on your word that you wont give her more than she can handle. Show her how great your love really is for her. In Jesus name, Amen<P>Roxy, the enemy is showing you that you are going in the right direction and opposes it greatly. Start to find encouragement in that. God has counted you worthy and is preparing your heart for greater things. Gods word never returnes void and you will be greatly blessed also for serving others during your trials. When you serve others, you serve the Lord and God does honor that. Start to look to the cross and really see what Jesus went thru for us. It will give you comfort to know we serve a Lord that does understand.<BR>Mark

Roxy, your life isn't all a shambles - you are just having a bad time and you need to accept that.<P>ACTIVELY reject these attacks.<P>You are an interesting person who is able to open up well to people. I am sure you are a lot of fun when you are feeling better. I bet you have a good sense of humor and people enjoy your company.<P>If the Lord answers the prayers you say for others, isn't He telling you how much He loves you? If He allows a trial for you, didn't He do the same for Jesus by allowing the enemy to tempt Him in the desert, the Pharisees to ridicule Him, Herod to run Him out of Israel into Egypt, His best friends to abandon Him when He needed them most, His mother to witness His death and to not have enough money to pay for His tomb? Do you think the Lord didn't love Jesus best? Of course He did. But we wouldn't be saved if Jesus hadn't suffered.<P>And maybe your suffering is going to save 50 souls who watch you stand, see you smile, see your love, feel your forgiveness, understand your testimony.<P>It is VITAL that you hang in and stand. You are being tempted to throw in the towel because you have an important mission.<P>Lord, allow my love to reach Roxy. Bring me closer to her and let her know that I do care, that she is not alone.<P>Lord, You are the Holy One, the Lord, the Most High. Forgive us for the times we cannot handle what's on our plate and draw us ever closer to You. Amen.