Sorry guys for the double posting.<P>Right now I can honestly say that I don't know if the trials I am facing are because of something I am doing right or something that I did wrong.

[QUOTE]<BR><B>Right now I can honestly say that I don't know if the trials I am facing are because of something I am doing right or something that I did wrong.</B><P>If they bring confusion, depair, depression, they are from Satan.<P>If it brings peace, and comfort, then it's from the Lord. <P>Remember what Mark said, "Don't quit 5 minutes before God blesses you" - a paraphrase of Mark's words, I can't remember exactly what he said!!<P>Lupo<P>

Dear Roxy,<P>I had a bad attack the Saturday night - I also was drinking too much which doesn't help.<P>Sunday I went to a church way up high on a hill and just lay down and looked at the sky and cried and felt the love of God.<P>We are like little kids who skin their knees. We cry out to God about our booboos and He reaches down, scoops us up and holds us. The booboo still hurts, but not as much because the power of the Creator's love is indescribable.<P>Let go and allow the Lord to come into your heart. Let go of trying to command the situation. Let the Lord do it all.<P><BR>He has plenty of experience in this area. <P>Lord, please cover Roxy with Your Love. COver her till she feels well enough to stand up and go on. She needs You, Lord. If it is something that requires medical attention, help her to seek it out without feeling as though she is doing You a disservice. You blessed us with doctors and medicine - let Roxy and all of us trust You to send us to the right doctor when we need it.<P>I love You Lord and I thank You for the opportunity to love other brothers and sisters whom I haven't met in the flesh. Bless this forum, Dr. Steve Harley and everyone who is on the forum. Amen.<BR>

Dear Roxy, If you read Hosea chapters 1-3 you will see that Hosea had many similar emotions as you and the rest of us have had. God Himself has similar emotions over His prodigal people. Now im not trying to compare us or figure out God. Im just saying these rollercoster emotions are a part of greif. And the Lord said, I greive that i made man. That was before the flood. <P>I gave up on my wife and God breifly because ive been going thru this longer than most.(no excuses) after about 2 and a half years of seperation my wife calls from a treatment center and tells me the bottom hit her this time and she wants to see me. when i went to see her i told her i gave up on her and figured she would die by jan 2001. she came very close and tried to kill herself by ODing on dope. She should be dead acually. Anyway i asked her if maybe i shouldnt of given up on her and she said dont give up 5 minutes before the miracle. We have been seeing each other ever since and she fell in love with me again. we are now both trusting in God to fully restore our marriage and family. Our hearts are in the right place now and i praise God for that. Everything else is a mess and God still has a lot of work to do.(financial wreckage, wife is a ward of the state mental health,etc)My case was a hopeless case. The enemy is an angry one, but I have seen many miracle along the way. I believe most of us cant hhandle Gods timing even though we know He will restore. I wanted to give up soop badly and it didnt matter how bad things were i found no peace in giving up. Look to the Lord and trust Him. Especiallywhhen things look bad. Faith is believing what we cannot see. <BR>Dear Lord i pray that you would increase my sister Roxys faith and give her your peace when she walks in the right direction. Lord give her your strenth. You say you make your strenth perfect in weakness and im living proff of that Lord. Draw near to your child Roxy Lord and allow her to know your love and mercy. I pray for healing in her heart and her marriage. In Jesus name, Amen<BR>Mark

Hi Everyone-<P>I got a call from my mother the other day and she went off telling me how she wants me to get a divorce and go on with my life. She basically said that my husband was no good, has two children out of wedlock and will never change or amount to anything. While most of what she said is true, it's still hard for me to hear anyone say bad things about my husband. I told her that no one has the right to judge my husband, but God. only God knows his heart and why he did what he did. I also shared with her that if I choose to take my husband back, it would be my choice to make and no one else's. So she basically said that if I ever got back with him, she would have absolutely nothing to do with him. This phone call caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting it and she wouldn't let me get a word in. I thought she was over this, but now I know that she is still pretty upset about it. I know she loves me and wants what's best for me and I don't want to hurt her and my father or disappoint them, but I have to live my own life and more importantly, I have to obey God and do what He tells me to. It's not like we're on the verge of reconciling. We're nowhere near reconciling. She also told me that she didn't think it was a good idea to let my step-son spend the night because in order for him to come over I had to see my husband and my mother believes that my husband used my step-son to see me. That thought crossed my mind, but I didn't care because I wanted to see him and I'm glad I did. He's the one that's suffering the most from all of this.<P>I'm beginning to feel that maybe it wasn't a good idea for me to share everything that happened between me and my husband with my mother. It's not that I want to hurt her or keep secrets from her, but I just don't want her to worry about me.

Roxy, my Mother recently told me the same thing. I need to let my wife go and get on with my life. Sis says the same thing but demands it. My mother just tells me i will never be happy if i get back with my wife. Its funny how family seems to know your life and heart and mates heart from 1000 miles away. I can no longer share where my wife and i are at with family any longer. Ive been ripped apart and told what i need to do to make them happy cause thats what it boils down to. Of course i never listen and never have and never will.<BR>Sorry folks, im doing what gives me joy and especially the Lord joy. <BR>Mark

Mark-<P>I know exactly how you feel and I too have decided that I'm going to do what makes me happy and more importantly what makes God happy. I have also decided not to share anymore information with my family.<P>My husband called me again last week. I wish I knew what his motives really are for calling. He claims that my step-son asked about me so I told him that he(my step-son) is welcome to call me at anytime. Then my husband proceeded to say, "Oh, I know, but he's at camp right now." My first thought was well if he's at camp then why are you calling? I am convinced now that my husband is using my step-son to talk to me. He's going to come for another visit the third weekend in August. I'll see how it goes. For now I'm just keeping my eyes on Jesus. I'm at a pretty good point in my life and I don't want to go through the hurt and pain all over again.<P>Roxy