NOrmally, I post on emotional needs forum. but in a nutshell here goes: my husband moved out on 20 May and said he wasn't "happy" and that he did not love me. He proceeded to get an apartment and set himself up for this other life. We have been married for almost 15 years. Together 16. He said at week 2 that he was getting a separation agreement together "to cover both of us". I replied that he should do what he felt was right and that I wouldn't risk going to jail by not signing it. Well last night he said he had the draft and I needed to look it over, he wanted me to and change what I want and then he could get the final done. I said again that I wouldn't risk going to jail. He said you won't go to jail but it makes it easier for me to divorce you next year. I said but you said you weren't interested in a divorce. You even told you mother this. He answered "whatever". and denied it. He said you want me to talk to you so you better sign it. You will really P*** me off if you don't. YOu don't want me to get mad. "<BR>I said why would you blackmail me with that?<P>He answered whatever, are you going to sign it. I said I didn't know. He said he'd bring it over tomorrow (today) and I could look over it with him. Mentioned the anger and the fact that he wouldn't have anything to say to me if I didn't.<P>Now, since this started I have been seeking GOD's guidance and grace. On the day he first mentioned the Official separation he wanted, I returned home,weak and at the end of my rope. How did we get here????<P>So I called out to God for guidance and an answer. His response was "do nothing. Let go and I will take care of it."<BR>So I have prayed continuously. I have asked for help. and peace and grace. It has been very very hard. In answer GOd has said to me "wait. Do nothing. Work on you." I asked how long Father (which I ask every day) and he replies faithfully, " Not long." <BR>Now again I ask for guidance about what to do with this agreement. The last time God said, wait. Do nothing. So last night I called out for the answer "Should I sign this agreement?" He responded repeatedly NO. Sign nothing. So this morning I asked again. Same response. No. Sign nothing." <P>I called my H to let him know that I wouldn't sign anything. He was very angry. Said we have nothing else to talk about. I said I'm sorry but I cannot do something that I feel is very wrong. It's wrong. It violates every thing I have worked for. He mentioned how official it would be and that it doesn't mean anything,and that it didn't mean he had to divorce me and when I reminded him of conversation last night he got even more angry. " well we have nothing to talk about." I said you walked out on us. He said you knew it was coming." I said not to this!<P>I am praying so hard and I really believe that God is working on him. But I am so scared.<P>Is there any one out there who has conversations with GOD? I honestly feel he is talking directly to me. I have asked for reassurance and he has given me it when I needed it most. It is very difficult to believe when seeing is so much easier. Its the faith thing and I am unfortunately very weak.<P>Please pray that I stand firm in GOD's grace and continue to have faith and continue to rely on Him. <P>Thank you very much.<BR>lkd

It is wonderful that you have such peace of mind and faith. That is really what gets us all through. You need to consider reviewing the agreement as it pertains to financial protection for you and/or any children that may be involved. A separation agreement does not mean divorce. My husband and I signed one with full intent of keeping the doors of communication open and we eventually reconciled. Best wishes with whatever decision you make.

Thank you. I am totally convinced that if God wanted me to sign the agreement he would have given me peace with that. His response to me was clear: "No. Sign nothing." <P>I am very sure that my husband would not do anything to jeopardize his relationship with the kids or put them in danger. NO matter how angry he might be with me. <P>I have a job and earn quite a bit more than he does. He has told me that he would do his best. I have no reason to doubt that. <P>I have prayed about our finances as well. God has told me "that is not a concern for you right now. and that I am not to worry over it.-I believe Him. <P>I trust in God and have to be obedient to the words he has spoken to me. In the past I have worked hard to control the situation and only got myself in trouble. This time I will be obedient and faithful-He has given and continues to give me strength--in the past this "new" crisis would have sent me off the deep end---so I KNOW that GOD is working in me and through me.<P>GOD BLESS.<P>LKD<P><BR>

I am praying for you. Please go to <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>It has been helpful to me during my stand. Continue to cry out to the Lord, we can't go wrong when he is the one directiong our path.<P>Barb<BR>morriggs@yahoo.com

Hi IKD, I feel the same way - that I shouldn't sign anything. But I am wondering what you mean when you said God told you. Do you mean you prayed and you felt that answer? You must have excellent concentration! A lot of times I have no concentration - when I am praying for others I have more but for myself and my husband - my attention wanders a lot.<P>I don't think you are going to lose faith at all. Keep praying and listening. God is letting you know what to do - I can't think of a better adviser!!!

What do I mean when I say "God told me." Well, when I pray its like having a conversation. I said for example "Should I sign this Lord. and clearly I heard <BR>NO. Sign nothing." I repeat my questions a lot and always get the exact same response. I honestly believe he is speaking to my heart. Over time I more often than not can decipher when I'm hearing Him and when I hear what I want. Perhaps this is strange to a lot of people but I do.<P>When I asked him for guidance and help that first day He was very very clear on what I'm supposed to do. I have reminded God of this and you know it keeps coming back the same. Once I was able to discuss this with some friends (3) each returned with the same response ( God is going to restore your marriage).<BR>I have the restore marriage book and have found some excellent reading there. It has been very helpful. <P>Thanks.<BR>LKD

<B>I honestly believe he is speaking to my heart. Over time I more often than not can decipher when I'm hearing Him and when I hear what I want. </B>[/QUOTE]<P>LKD, I am absolutely convinced that God has spoken to you! I know in my case that God has told me what to do so many times. Maybe not in exactly the same way as you are saying it, almost a "voice" - but I KNOW when God tells me something. There is NO question, there is NO discussion, it is from God. Of course your H is angry right now, he is being manipulated by the devil, and the devil HATES to lose to the Lord, even tho we know he IS defeated already. He is seeking whom he may devour and take into the pit of Hell with him!! Continue to pray and stand for your marriage. Also, PRAY for your H, as he is under attack, and doesn't even know it! If it were me, I would say very little to him, only as much as you are required, in order not to anger him any further. If you are trusting, please STOP being "afraid" - fear is not of God, the "peace that passes all understanding" is from God. <BR> At times when I have tried to open doors, or walk through doors I THOUGHT should open, if they did not, I knew God was directing my steps. For instance, once I went to take my H's truck title to his attorney in order for my H to get it and take my name off the truck. They SHOULD have been open for another half-hour, BUT THE DOORS WERE LOCKED AND THE LIGHTS WERE OFF!!! I knew then that God was tellling me NOT to go back to that office.......period. Ever. I now have perfect peace that I WILL NEVER set foot in that office!!!!!!<BR> I have had other, more significant instances of God speaking about circumstances with me, and tangible things, "hearing (though not audibly) God telling me specifically how to pray for my H, also one night, I "saw" a scripture verse in a dream, and when I woke up and read it, I KNEW God was sending me a specific message about a work he was getting ready to do with my H's family and their whole planning to "dump" me stategy!! I have had dreams where I knew God was giving me signs that he is at work in my H's heart. I have had instances like this, not so much "voices" - that only happened a couple of times.<BR> I would be happy to converse privately with you if you care to....my e-mail addy is: mk91upo@strato.net<BR>Lupo <BR>

Lupolady,<P>Interesting that you should talk of dreams. When I first spoke to my friend about the message I had got from GOD about standing firm,doing nothing,LET GO.....tears came in her eyes and she said you know, I prayed about that last night and I know GOD is going to restore your marriage. Just now I got the most vivid image of a battlefield laid waste and you and your h there together. She repeated this story again today. I find this and the fact that no less than 2 more people confirming a restoration in the works very affirming. I do believe GOD. I also know that I am very weak and prone to doubt. I asked that he reassure me when I get questioning and doubtful. HE hasn't failed to come through.<P>I am still pondering the separation question. The restore marriage book and looking up the references has been quite helpful. H has told me to read it and sign it. Take it to an attorney. He was quite adamant about.<P>Now the quandary is Why did I feel so strongly that GOD told me "NO. Sign nothing."<P>In the bible it speaks a lot about being submissive to your husband,respecting him, and even when he is sinful. <P>I find this a bit contradictory. However, by refusing to sign on the grounds that it is wrong I am being very disrespectful,and also rather self righteous. I have prayed about this again this afternoon and told my husband that I would think about signing it for a few days and let him know next week. <P>God has told me to wait. So we shall see. Normally, I don't get conflicting responses to prayer. But, hey I am but human. This I offer in prayer as well.<P>THanks.<BR>lkd<P>

So, yesterday I didn't talk about what h said about the separation agreement. After he told me he was going to bring it over Thursday night I prayed about it and got up friday and got the same message-no. sign nothing. Well then I called him and said I would sign nothing. He was very very mad. <P>He brought it over anyway Friday afternoon. He said if I don't sign it he will only talk to me thru the kids,wont set foot in our house,and we can just have it that way-no contact whatsoever. So, I said,if I do sign it? Then we can have a peaceful amicable relationship and go from there. I can do whatever I want whether you sign it or not-hey I'm not living here. and it would do you no good to try for the abandonment problem (he walked out on us) because hey I'm giving you everything. So that will get you no where-you want litigation well we can go there!<P>Then I said so you mean if I sign you will give us a chance.<BR>He said yes. I promise. I swear on my mother's life that I will be open to us and we will see.<P>I said fine I need a few days to think about it. Once he left I immediately went to my friend and she said well you have to do what God told you. I said but.........She quoted me scripture where it says something about anger,and making hasty decisions. <BR>Thinking (praying) on it was good. So wait.<BR>So i brought out the bible and my restore marriage books and was drawn to the part about respect ( he says I don't respect him in this) about being submissive and about doing what your husband instructs whether or not he is in sin.<P>SO now when I pray I get reminded of not being antagonistic towards him and overwhelmingly "let go."<P>I looked thru this agreement and you know the first part is about the fact that you can behave as though single and in an unmarried state. What do people do?<P>My h says "people do it all the time." I said "well,that doesn't make it right." He said "whatever. I think its all right."<P>I am so depressed. I asked God what he meant and I keep getting "you weren't listening to me. Let go."<P>Please pray for us.<P>Thanks<BR>lkd

<B>I asked God what he meant and I keep getting "you weren't listening to me. Let go."<P>Please pray for us.<BR></B><BR>LKD,<P> You can be SURE I am praying for you! I am a little curious about this statement. "God said, 'You weren't listening to me. LET GO.'" ?!?! This sounds like God IS saying, now sign the papers.......at least that's what it sounds like to me. It isn't the end of the world if you DO sign them. It isn't the end of your marriage if you DO sign them. Also, people have gotten all the way to divorce court, and even all the way through a divorce and God restored their marriages. You DO have to be obedient to God first of all. BUT, don't NOT sign these papers out of fear that it means it's one step closer to being the end of your marriage! God is totally in control. Your H may think he's "getting his way" if he gets you to sign them. Your H may think he's "free" to "see others" if you sign them. It doesn't matter what he thinks. The only thing that matters is that YOU stay in God's will, and continue to pray for your H. God will do the rest.<BR> My H has told people we are "separated" and that's why he's free to be with OW. We are not "separated". He LEFT our home to GO LIVE W/OW!!! BIG difference! I didn't ask for separation. We did not discuss separation. He just left one day!<BR> Please seek carefully God's voice for these papers. If you are in confusion as to what to do, this is not from God. Do not try to manipulate the situation or your H by signing and then getting him to agree to a certain whatever. His heart has to be turned back toward you BY GOD. Do not attempt manipulation to achieve a unified marriage. It won't be of God, and it won't last. Be patient, and trust and pray.<BR> I'm with ya!<BR>Lupo

Lupolady,<P>Thank you. <BR>I initially didn't see it as manipulation. I expect it to take a bit longer before I am there. I will keep you posted.<P>Thanks.<BR>LKD<P>

LKD,<P>Abraham heard the Lord who told him that he would have more children (descendants) than the stars in the heavens. Then he heard God tell him to sacrifice his only son. And he obeyed the Lord. (Or would have if the angel hadn't told him to stop.)<P>I think you should obey the Lord before your husband. "I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other god before me."<P>Nobody comes before the Lord. Even if you are to submit to your husband, I don't remember the Bible saying to submit in sin but I do remember the Bible saying that we are to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect. <P>I would NOT sign it if the Lord is telling you that. Absolutely not. He'll take care of it. We should never dare not to trust Him. It's insulting to Him. Who can know better than the Lord? Can any of us make something out of nothing?? Only the Lord can.<P>I would also like to ask you to pray for me and ask the Lord about all of us. I also don't want to sign any paper and I am about to get into a royal battle about it. But in my heart, I believe that God will give me the strength to fight. Can you ask the Lord if not signing is a general answer for all of us (I think it is) or a specific answer in your case?<P>Thanks. <P>I think you have a great relationship with God and it is awesome to have such clarity. Go with it!! <P>I send you a big hug and kisses on both cheeks (the Italian way... :-) )<BR>T<BR>

Lupolady, <P>Well. This is a hard one. After much prayer,discussion with friends and some serious readinng......<BR>I have to sign. In the restore marriage workbook it gives specific references to being obedient to your husband. My h has directed me to have it looked over by someone,make changes if needed and sign it. I initially told him NO as I believed God directed me not to sign it. I went again in prayer and God has reminded me repeatedly that he told me to let go. I am confident that this is his way of telling me that I haven't let go completely.<BR>God cannot do his work if I don't obey.<BR>Scripture is very clear about wives being submissive to their husbands. Like it or not it says so.<P>This is also a serious control,pride,and respect issue for my husband.<BR>I'm not completely sure why I believed God told me not to sign initially unless it was to get me to the place where my h would discuss it rather than be nasty about it. <P>I understand right now that the Lord has told me I was not listening to him. <P>In the big scheme of things I honestly feel and believe deep in my heart that only GOD can fix this. He has said so.<BR>When it's done it will be his work and not mine,cause I've done all I can by myself. <P>SO, I have told my h that I will have it looked at and that I will sign it. It will be okay. <BR>Not signing it will only antagonize him and God was very specific that I should not do that. <P>I will continue to pray for you and all of us.<P>GOD will bless us. We just have to know it.<P>LKD<BR>

<B>I'm not completely sure why I believed God told me not to sign initially unless it was to get me to the place where my h would discuss it rather than be nasty about it. <BR></B>[/QUOTE]<BR>Yes, lkd, I believe like you do. This was just a matter of timing....God wanted your H to treat YOU with respect, too. He was screaming at you in anger to do it, and by waiting on the Lord's timing, your H's anger subsided...<BR>Now if you DO end up signing, be assured God's hand will be in that, too. I say IF, because God could change your H's heart now, and he may rescind the papers, and not have you sign them at all.<BR>I wish I had your faith, and prayer life....I think things would go a LOT smoother for me day by day (in my mind) if I could lean on the Lord a lot more....I tend to get too distracted trying to find out WHERE he is, WHAT he's doing, HOW he's doing it, etc. God wants to handle it. I need to totally LET GO...I'm having a hard time.<BR>I posted on my thread that God is taking the little strings away from me. My H is moving bank accounts and bills around, new addy's etc., so I won't be able to find out how he's doing paying these, etc. They are his, so I shouldn't care, but I'm concerned. Not only for him, but for my protection, too.<BR>See? NOT trusting God! <BR>Please help us LET GO, Lord, so that you may have your way and accomplish what you are trying to accomplish in our H's lives. I KNOW I am of little faith, and not totally trusting your will. Father, I KNOW I cannot change one second of my own life, or anyone else's by being this way, but it is hard to suddenly NOT KNOW where your mate is after 20 years and talking and sharing every day with them. Fill us with your Presence, Lord, so that we are not found to be lacking.<BR>Amen.<BR>Lupo<P>

Edit<p>[This message has been edited by lupolady (edited July 09, 2001).]

Hi, LKD...I read your post the other night and then shortly after we had our family devotions. We are reading the book of Exodus. I have to admit I wondered what I was going to get out of reading about the plagues in Chapter 8 that evening. But what we read made me think of your situation!!<P>Pharoah's heart was hardened and he would not let the people of Israel go. It appeared his magicians could mimic a great deal of God's power but not always and not enough. Pharoah found himself in a place where he needed to ASK MOSES for prayer! This amazed me but more so that Moses had to continually pray for his worst enemy. You can be sure Moses didn't only pray for the plagues to lift but also that Pharoah's heart would soften and for his character and himself.<P>Of course, your H is NOT your enemy. He is your beloved so keep on prevailing in prayer. I am not sure if perhaps part of God's word to you is Do Not Let Your Husband Go! but you will know His heart and His leading for you.<P>I am sorry for not posting sooner. I found this insight so exciting and refreshing (it's been awhile since the Lord has come to me in that way and it sure feels good to have that again)<P>Lord, You are the author of family. You designed man and woman to be joined as one and not torn asunder. Move in the heart of the husband who seems to be under Satan's influence we ask You, Jesus. Lord, give our sister strength to persist and grace to endure with dignity. May these days be an outpouring of assurance of Your unshakeable love for her. Thank You, God for speaking to us whether through your Word or giving us a word of encouragement for others. We seek Your miracle to rescue this marriage. And thank You for the miracle of Your everlasting love to LKD individually.<P>Blessings, my friend!

So, been a few days since I posted and here goes: <P>This past week my husband had the kids last Saturday night and dropped them off 630am Sun so he could go to work and other than the calls and he dropped by Monday for a few minutes hasn't seen the kids. I called him on this one day this week and he took it that I was insulting his fatherhood. <P>Well, I managed to point out yesterday,calmly,that I could not just keep the kids all the time and he choose when he sees them-at his convenience-I need time too. Said he had things to do yesterday so he came by last night at 7pm. Well he finally agreed that he needed to put out more of an effort for the kids-"we should be agreeable with this".and "you have a point."<P>Well, he sat down and started talking about us!!!!<P>Said he did not love me and that "I'm afraid of you."<P>I said WHAT?" "I'm afraid of you. You get mad and just go off." I'm afraid.<P>I said,okay.<P>He then went on to say that he had tried and that it just wasn't there. That he was a grown man,could make his own decisions,and he would live with them.<P>Now he has moved from being very angry,and vengeful,to calmly talking to me about the feelings-he wouldn't even go there before. In fact he said last night that that was enough for now. <BR>He also mentioned that he wasn't grown up enough to get married.......I told him that all he would say to me was that I controlled him,that he didn't love me and that I never really understand. <P>I told him that these were generic statements to me and that I did not understand. The onous is on the person explaining themselves to make sure there message gets across. I never really got it.<BR>BECAUSE-he wouldn't talk enough about it-or rather explain himself. I said I really need to understand.<P>He said I tried. I asked him how can you say that when you know I didn't understand. You stopped talking to me and when I would try to get it out of you,you cut me off.<P>This touched something because seconds later he said well that's all he could take for now.<P>One cannot love what one fears. So,naturally I take it that part of what needs to happen is get rid of the fear.<P>Fear (to me) is similar to anger-it masks some underlying emotion and I believe in this case-sadness that became debilitating because the anger was pretty intense as the years went by-I just thought it was work.<BR>Fear is also a cover for feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. <P>I have also realized that a lot of times what comes out of our mouths is not so much for the other person to hear (especially when we speak of feelings) but what we desire to confirm to ourselves so if looked at closely I can see that he wants to be a "man and make decisions on his own" that his need to repeat the "I don't love you's" is -at least in part-his need to explain this and understand it to himself. SOrt of a "if its said out loud it must be true."<BR>Last night also made me realize that I was afraid of him to. Because of this anger.Because I felt ignored and demeaned. <P>I do love this man-he just needs to feel it. But he doesn't want to it makes him angry. But God is blessing me every day,a few weeks ago this conversation could not have taken place. He has stopped being intensely angry-what a blessing. I just have to wait like God has said.<BR>We can change anything we want but only GOD can heal-through revealing truths and forgiveness. <P><BR>I continue to pray for us all and would appreciate any input you guys would have.<P>May God Bless us indeed.<BR>LKD<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by lkd (edited July 15, 2001).]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by lkd:<BR><B>I do love this man-he just needs to feel it. But he doesn't want to it makes him angry. But God is blessing me every day,a few weeks ago this conversation could not have taken place. He has stopped being intensely angry-what a blessing. I just have to wait like God has said.<BR>We can change anything we want but only GOD can heal-through revealing truths and forgiveness. <BR></B><P>LKD,<BR> This is very good news. It's amazing that he's opening up to you little by little like this. I don't have any other profound words of wisdom for you, I just wanted to let you know that I see God working in him, and I want to rejoice with you because it's wonderful! Prayer really works! Praise God!!<P>"Hearing" God tell you to Wait, and then actually doing it, and seeing the fruits of your obedience is so heart-warming.<P> I hope you don't mind, if I step into your thread with a little "working of the HS" of my own here:<P> I still haven't heard from my WH, it's been over 8 weeks now, and my birthday was last week too. That was hard. <BR> However, I (of course) have been praying for my H, praying for reconciliation, for opening of his eyes, God speaking to his heart, etc.<P>Well, yesterday, I was looking for a scripture I was trying to remember, and came upon a wedding picture (a small one, 3 x 4") that was stuffed inside a Bible I carry around in my car. I looked at that picture, and suddenly I could "see" the OW standing RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF US!! RIGHT BETWEEN US!!! And then I "heard" God say, "It's time to get bold." I mean, up until this time, I had been praying (as I told you) but now, it was like - PROCLAIM LOUDLY TO THE HEAVENS YOUR PRAYERS. And I did!!<P>I started speaking in a very loud voice (good thing I was in my car, and the windows were rolled up ) I said, "LORD, I WANT THIS WOMAN *OUT* OF MY MARRIAGE!! GET HER *OUT* FROM IN BETWEEN MY H AND ME. LORD, I COME TO YOU NOW AND STAND ON THE PROMISE THAT THIS IS A COVENANT BETWEEN MY H AND ME TO YOU, AND THIS WOMAN DOES NOT BELONG HERE!! GET HER OUT OF MY MARRIAGE!!! PUT THIS MARRIAGE BACK TOGETHER, AND THE MARRIAGE BED UNDEFILED AND NO ONE TEARING IT ASUNDER." <P>Well, that was bizarre enough. I mean, I've never done anything like that before, never felt compelled to do anything that bold before (except I have participated in casting out demons once before, but that's a whole other story!) Then after that, I felt like I needed to rejoice!! I was praising God and singing and all happy in the car.....like "it has happened."<P>So, when I got home about 1 1/2 hours later, I called my g/f, my dearest, bestest friend, and prayer warrior in this thing. She and I have been friends and sisters in the Lord for about 25 years (knew her before I knew my H). I told her about the "voice (command?) - knew it was from God and what I did....she said to me, "What time was that?" I told her, About 1 this afternoon.....she said, "Uh, well, a weird thing happened to me, too! I was standing at my sink doing dishes, and I suddenly felt a compelling urge to SMACK your H!! I mean, NOT EVEN A BIRTHDAY CARD?!?!?!?!" So she proceeds to tell me that she YELLED at him, then prayed to the Lord about him!! "Lord, please, it's time to bring this man home. He's hurting himself and he's hurting his W." <P>ALL GOING ON AT ALMOST THE EXACT HOUR.....<BR>I am convinced that my H's veil of "fog" lifted at that moment, and it's only a matter of time before he "makes contact" from out of the mothership! <P>Anyway, sorry to be stepping into your thread, but I think it's the same thing. You have prayed and prayed, and done nothing else, and now you can see God working in his heart. I see NOTHING, but God gives me glimpses of His work in my H!! Even when it seems nothing is going on, it is!! Now I don't feel ready. I mean, I think I need to go back and read HN/HN some more, and SAA one more time (for the 3rd time).<P>And I pray my H will find his way to church today, whereever he is.<P>I will continue to pray for you, LKD. He's coming around, and that's VERY good news!<P>Lupo<BR>

LUPO,<P>Last week I went to a women's prayer meeting and one of the points brought up was about "keeping your eyes fixed on God". This means that we must not allow the outward circumstances to be our guide. I think its important to recognize the small (or big) things that happen but to also not forget that our primary relationship should be the one we have with GOD. <P>I have learned that my relationship with my husband was an idol to me. It was Number 1 until now. That isn't to say that it's not VERY important,but that maintaining a continuous,positive relationship with the Lord should be the focus. Everything else will fall in place according to God's will and his guidance. We must remember to always keep this in mind.<P>Yes, I was buoyed by his talking to me yesterday. So I got up first thing and prayed and prayed and I asked should I call him? What should I do? <P>No. I'm not to call. Wait. and finally this afternoon, I asked again "How Long?" and clear as a bell came not much longer. Wait. Prepare your house for his return."<P>Well. All I can say to that is Thank you God. <P>May God bless you indeed. I will continue to pray for you as well.<BR>LKD<P>

Dear LKD, your husband is probably going thru a depression and is very confused. That makes it easy for the enemy to step in and mess things up. I believe the main cause of depression is lack of trust in God or none at all. Ive learned this from experience. Years ago i had a lot of marriage counseling and although for the most part it was worthless, i did learn some things. Anger is a secondary emotion. The underlying emotions are hurt and pain. Many are taught to go past the natural feelings of a broken and contrite heart and enter anger to cover it up. Your husband probably doesnt like what hes doing nor is in a frame of mind to understand it. Deep inside hes crying out in pain and his pride is using anger to cover it up. He proabably fears you because when he gets around you the holy spirit in you strikes to his heart and he probably wants to cry and can barely hold it in, but then anger takes over. My wife was the same way. She had to hit bottom real hard before she started to change. About 6 months ago something clicked in her and she let go of her fears for me and decided to accept the love i had for her. I dont think she even understood why, but im sure it was God interveining and changing her heart. Weve been seperated for 3 years now and i just keeped loving her inspite of what she did. If i start to cry for some reason, she doent tell me to stop anymore either. She will try to comfort me. She is in love with me again and we are now working together to put our marriage and family back together. Right now, i dont think you can get thru to your husband by talking to him. All you can really do is tell him you will continue to pray for him and love him no matter what. He wont be honest with you right now about how he feels and we tend to try and reach them in our own strenth at the stage your in. Let God reach him and give him to God daily.(once doesnt work) Hes going to have to hit bottom and turn his heart to the Lord, then he will turn his heart back to his wife and family. Keep praying for him. Keep trusting God to heal and restore. <BR>Mark