Prayer is the only thing I know to do for this problem. I've heard that the prayers of many do have power.<P>I am asking for my H to forgive me. For his hardened heart to soften so that he may forgive me.<P>More than four years ago I was unfaithful, with my H's permission and participation. It ended. I thought that he had forgiven me and we had reconcilled. We had a daughter. And then he left nearly a year ago.<P>He has placed all the blame on me and what happened over four years ago. The OM has moved on, is now married, and has a son. There is no longer an even remotely intimate relationship there. I had broken all contact with him, but was forced to renew it when my stbxH filed for divorce (because the OM had to be contacted and info. obtained for the case).<P>In the meantime, I learned that my stbxH was having an EA with another woman.....secretively. 3 months after he moved out, it went PA. AND he was taking our D around this OW.<P>Yet he still blames me. He still refuses to accept responsibility for his actions.<P>He doesn't care about why I had the affair (what needs of mine he was not meeting).<BR>He doesn't care that I have repented of my actions and have been trying to atone for them.<P>I never walked out on the marriage. He never said 'no' to my affair. [In fact, because of my affair, I found out that he had been the OM in an affair with a married woman --- and he hadn't told me about it before our marriage.]<P>But he has walked out. I beleive that he no longer attends counselling for his anger. He refused to work together in marriage counselling, and after three visits, he filed for divorce and refused to go back.<P>My affair ended, and I have been faithful to my husband ever since. I have been faithfult during his absence of nearly a year.<P>He has hardened his heart and hides behind it as if it is a shield. Displaying the image of my sin for all to see, while hiding his own sins behind it.<P>I am asking the Lord to soften his heart, break down his shield, so that he may forgive my sins and so that he may no longer hide his sins, but be forced to face them.<P>I know that the Lord know the truth and forgives me of my sins. But this man is my H, and I do desire his forgiveness. <P>I also desire to see him repent of his erroneous ways, that I may forgive him and we may begin to rebuild a life together.<P>I've made this prayer privately a number of times. I hope that the prayers of many will lend it strength. That he may forgive me so that the Lord will forgive him. Tthat his double-blindness will be lifted.<P>For, despite all the hurt he has caused me, I still do love this man. I still lose myself when I am around him. I still know him. And our daughter loves him.<P>Help him, Lord.<P>In Your Name I pray,<BR>Amen<P>~Amy
