Hi, all. I'd like some prayer, please, since things seems to be "moving" again. <P>I got a letter from my H's attorney today. Seems back on May 17, 2001, he sent me "forms" for an Uncontested Divorce, waited for me to sign them and send them back. FOR-GET IT!! Well, anyway, apparently, he is reminding me, and contacted me to "get my thoughts" aobut the forms, wants me to contact him within 15 days.<P>I KNOW there is nothing "official" about this. Just a letter asking me to reply. What I don't know is: does anyone think he is doing this because it's been 2 months since he sent the other forms, and I ignored them, or do you think my H is getting antsy (or OW is!) and wants to "Speed" this D thing up. Anyway, I have NO INTENTIOn of signing anything, and I won't help him get this D - (certainly NOT without legal counsel first!!) and wondered if anyone had any ideas? I am planning to send him (H) a letter this week. You know, just a "thinking of you" letter. He moved out without so much as a HINT of trouble on May 18 and NOT ONE WORD since then. It's been confusing trying to figure out how to Plan A someone when you don't know exactly what they are doing, and don't have contact.<P>BTW - we just had one weird week-end....first I "saw" a vision of OW in the middle of my M, I was looking at a wedding pic and THERE SHE WAS!!! I commanded her OUT of my M!! I claimed it in the Lord's name.....then, I talked to my g/f. I told her about what had happened to me. She's been my spiritual partner through all this. SHE then said she "saw a vision" of my H, reprimanded him for treating me like SH*T, and commanded he "go home". And as if that wasn't weird enough, another g/f told me SHE had my H pop into her mind, and she, TOO, yelled at him for the way he was treating me, and "told" him to come home. Bear in mind, that before ANY of the three of us talked, I had NO IDEA the other two were having this "vision" - they don't even know each other! And here's the weird part: IT ALL HAPPENED AT THE EXACT SAME HOUR, ON THE SAME DAY (Saturday)!!!!!!<P>I believe, Lord!! I believe!!! <P>Anyway, I'm asking for prayer because I believe the Lord is starting to really work in H's heart (based on Saturday's events), and H is "hardening" his heart, like I expected he would! Unless attorney is acting on his own, and it's just Satan doing his darndest to get this thing pushed through before the fog lifts.<P>As always, thank you all so much. I know I couldn't have made it through to this point without all the encouragement and support (AND prayers!) from all of you.<P>Lupo<BR>

Hey Lupo,<P>I have no ready response to your question. But I do agree about the hardening before the fog lifts and satan pulling out the stops!!<P>Hang in there.<BR>Believe.<P><BR>May God Bless us all indeed.<BR>LKD<BR>

Dear lupolady:<P>This isn't a prayer, but if you can use the following, great.<P>Hang in there and delay, delay, delay. If Hubby actually calls you, and asks whether you got the papers, you could say "What papers?" If the attorney calls you, "Oh, was that what was in that letter? Maybe it fell behind the fridge." or "Oh, was that what was in that letter? I didn't recognize the return address. I must've thrown it into the recycling." <P>Delay. The OW may be pushing him, and eventually she will start acting *****y and impatient. Meanwhile you do Plan A, work on yourself to be fitter, more organized, better groomed, whatever quality he admired about women. <P>If he offers to send another copy, don't argue. Sweetly agree. But don't say you'll sign anything. Say you never sign anything without looking it over. And that you really don't have a head for business (or whatever else sounds like you need somebody bigger and smarter than you are) and you really would like to talk to an attorney. But be sweet. Butter won't melt in your mouth. No shouting, cursing, questioning, that sort of thing.<P>If he offers to drive the papers over to your house and drop them off ask him to call at least an hour before because you want to be sure to be home. Then, oh, so sorry but I have plans.<P>"With who?"<BR>"A friend."<BR>"What kind of friend? Is it a guy?"<BR>"Just a good friend. We have plans so I won't be around when you want to stop by. But if you're in a hurry, and if we're not here, just put the papers through the mail slot and I'll look them over when I have time."<P>If he accuses you of delaying, why he is asking you to make a life changing decision, you need to think.<P>Let him hang. The affair will wither and die. Any hostility or anger you show him or his lady love will fan the fire of their passion. Their relationship is a triangle. Remove yourself from the equation. The passion usually lasts a year, two at the most. Then he starts noticing that she has razor stubble on her legs, that she has irrating verbal tics, that she borrows his brush and leaves it somewhere else. Full of her hair.<P>They were content to shtup without a marriage license and a ceremony up until now, what's a few more months? (Or years?!!)<BR>What's the big deal about a few wedding vows anyway? <P>I can't promise the outcome but wiser heads here on the site have made the kinds of moves I wrote you about, and either reconciled and improved after an affair, or improved themselves and became better people and continued to help the rest of us.<P>Good luck.<BR>[<P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess<p>[This message has been edited by Bellevue (edited July 18, 2001).]

Lupo, sometimes the Lord works in strange and mysterious ways huh. I take your vision as encouragement. It could be post traumatic stress but if it encourages you to stand then praise Jesus. The Lord works out all things for those who love him and are called according to his purposes.<BR>As far as the D goes. I would send your husband a letter telling him that you will stand in court and tell the judge that you dont want a divorce and that an affair isnt such a good reason for one. At least not for your H. Seeing that he is the one having the A. I would tell the judge and the court that you love your husband and will stand and pray for your marriage to be restored no matter how long it takes and you will sign nothing having anything to do with a divorce. Hey it worked for me. She filled out the papers and had an atty, but never filed it with the courts. She knew i was serious And about 7 months ago she told me she was glad we never divorced That was when her heart compleatly changed and we have been growing ever since. She called today and told me how much she missed me and loves me. Although we are not under the same roof yet, miracles are starting to happen, and i praise Jesus for them all. She told me the other day not to let what my sister and our families are doing get in the way of our love growing. We have spending a lot of time together lately and she even spent the night a few nights ago. You can make it thru this Lupo. When we loose so much, it is such a blessing to get it back when all hope seemed lost. God has taken away all the pain and most of the memories of the past and its hard to believe. In the midst of my trials i forget sometimes what the Lord has already done. <BR>Dear Lord, i ask that you would give Lupo assurence and peace that you will see her thru her heartbreaking trials and that when she wants to give up that you would lift her up and encourage her. When she prays for her husband may your Holy Spirit give her peace that she has been heard and that it is truly all in your hands Lord. For there is no better place for our troubles to be than in your hands. I praise you Lord that you died for us and gave us eternal life with no more tears when we leave this life of sorrow. May our tears be great treasures in heaven. In Jesus name, Amen<BR>Mark

<B>sometimes the Lord works in strange and mysterious ways huh. I take your vision as encouragement.</B> <P>Thanks, Mark. I took it as encouragement, too. Mainly because of the "involvement" of two other people! Neither one of them knows the other, and they had their "visions" independent of me....believe me when I tell you stuff like that NEVER had happened to me (OR THEM!!) before.<P><B>I would send your husband a letter telling him that you will stand in court and tell the judge that you dont want a divorce and that an affair isnt such a good reason for one. At least not for your H. Seeing that he is the one having the A. I would tell the judge and the court that you love your husband and will stand and pray for your marriage to be restored no matter how long it takes and you will sign nothing having anything to do with a divorce.</B><BR>Goodness! I hope I would have the COURAGE to do this!! I am standing now, Mark, and I am hopeful that the Lord will not let this thing go that far. <P>I DO also believe OW is pulling the strings behind the curtain, and forcing this along, as you said, Belle. And I know she basically GETS what she wants, sooooo, she most probably WILL get (BIT***) er- irritated when she can't have him!!!<P>My only other point to you is: ANY contact/conversation with him would only be an improvement. He absolutely WILL NOT talk to me!!! He has told everyone who will listen that "his attorney can talk to my atty" - so basically I told his son, "I have no atty, so how does that work?" I think it's pretty strange that a 6 ft. tall, 275 lb. MAN is "afraid" to talk to a little, 5'2" 130 woman (OK, I stretched the truth a little?). I find it MOST fascinating that he's so AFRAID of me!!!!!<P>LKD, YES!! "Pulling out all the stops..." I think my H has also changed his cell phone #. Mark, I think you remember a few weeks ago, I thought he had called me back? Well, it was just him bouncing a message I had sent to him. Well, it came up about his phone being turned off, his son told me he "keeps it off...." cause he (S) was having a hard time getting a hold of his dad....I told him "WHY??? I haven't tried to call him, except when it was important money issues, but he didn't take the call. So I don't call him anymore!" I guess (S) told him that, and he changed the number so he can leave his phone on all the time?!?! I honestly cannot believe the FOGGY logic they have while beamed aboard the Mothership!!<P>Anyway, thanks everyone for your continued prayers. I KNOW they are working... our Lord promised it!!<P>Lupo

Hey, What cool advice from Bellevue.<P>Lupo, I also know that God is on your side and very active in this. Just let Him do His thing. The visions are not everyday events: that was very powerful. Let's pray together:<P>Lord Jesus, Only Son of the Living God and Savior of the World, by Your Holy Body and Blood You freed us from our sins and death. Please dissolve the bond between the intruder and Lupo's husband and all the other intruders too. In the name of Jesus Christ we command them to leave our marriages alone and intact. We command these intruders to turn away from our husbands and wives. We command the little demons to return to their hole and leave our marriages alone. We command the false attractions to end. <P>We worship You and glorify You, Lord and we thank you profoundly for allowing this trial so that we could draw closer and closer to You and better understand Your will and what is important in our lives. We promise that when our marriages are restored, we won't forget the lessons we have learned or the people who have helped us through. We won't forget the love You have shown us and Your everlasting mercy. Help us to use this "free" time wisely. Don't allow us to fall for the distractions of the world or believe that we need to "move on" by forgetting our marriage vows we made to You. <P>Remind us that we are still one flesh and that we still sanctify our spouses, even though they are temporarily lost in a big fog. Dissolve our anger and bitterness and replace it with love and forgiveness.<P>Bless each one of us who reads these words. Grant us all the gift of prayer and the gift of discernment so that we understand and desire to fulfill Your will. Amen.