In one of our earlier posts Christmas kept coming up and I was wondering.....<BR>As this keeps occuring to me,along with thoughts that it won't be that long............<BR>It has been 68 days since he left.<P>How long for all of you?<P>In prayer earlier I kept getting the message that it takes 6 weeks to change a habit..............and that this really isn't long considering the circumstances...........<P>Yesterday my h called to say he wouldn't be able to come by and that he would be by this morning after work to fix my garbage disposal and mow the grass. He was really nice about it. He also said that he'd have the kids several days next week to give me a break ?????<P>I don't understand how he can be so evil and then turn around and be nice. <P>I do know that I'm not buying into the rollercoaster so much anymore.<P>In prayer I was directed to yet another story about God and how he keeps his promises ?????<P>I had asked directly for scripture and this time I got it????<BR>Isn't that just so weird? It is a wonderful feeling but also one that points out on a grand scale how we really don't have control????<P>I believe that the Lord is working hard and has said so soooo many times to me. He keeps pointing out that he has confirmed his promise to me repeatedly. <BR>I keep asking for continued confirmation. <BR>and I am grateful that he continues to do it.<BR>I was also reminded not to look to h for it. I'm getting better at this.<BR>I believe that God has great things in store for me and my family. He has said so repeatedly. I believe. I trust. I know. <P>God is awesome. <P>May God bless us all indeed.<BR>LKD<BR>

<B>I was also reminded not to look to h for it. I'm getting better at this.<BR>I believe that God has great things in store for me and my family. He has said so repeatedly. I believe. I trust. I know. <P>God is awesome. </B><P>Great! That's wonderful. Hold on to that.<P>How long? Well, My H first left 11 weeks ago (ummm 75 days). Was gone 2 weeks, then came home, confessed to A, and decided to reconcile. This was half-hearted, as he refused to end the A. He stayed home about 3 weeks, and we attempted counseling. he finally insisted on getting an apartment, and by then I agreed with him because he was coming and going as he pleased and still maintained a relationship (physical?? I don't know. He says not.) with OW. So, now he's been oficially moved out for 5 weeks (ummm, 35 days). So that's my story in a nutshell - as far as how long.<P>Harley says most A's die naturally within 6 months. (I forget your story - was it an A? If not, some of this may not apply). Harley says to Plan A for 6 months, if you can. Each situation is different. Your love and energy may drain before then. I don't think I can make it til then (that would be November for me). 6 months is not long in the whole scheme of your marriage and life. I've always heard that 21 days makes a habit. But that's 21 days straight. If my H was here with me, I could show him every day for 21 days that I have grown and changed, and make him comfortable that married to me is where he belongs. Since he's not with us, LKD, it has to be longer than 21 days.<P>My H, also, can be very nice at times (coming to mow the lawn, give me money, etc.) and very cold and distant most other times. They are human, and still have love for us in their hearts. They are not sure what they want. They KNOW what the right thing to do is - obey God, come home, and reconcile, but they don't have the strength to do it, and it frustrates them, or they deny the inner struggle.<P>Hang in there. I haven't read all your posts. I will do so now. So I hope my response has been somewhat relevant o your situation. If not, thanks for listening. It is good therapy for me to say these things for myself too.<P>Father, continue to give us the comfort and peace while we wait on you. We know that you are working in our lives to make us the women you want us to be, and you are molding our H's into the men you want them to be. Give us strength, courage, wisdom, energy, and patience.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

lkd-<P>In the beginning of my test(and that's exactly what it is) I too used to wonder how long. The days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months without any change except for the worse. It took me a while, but then I realized that I wasn't living, I was just existing. I finally decided to take control of my life and continue doing the things that I didn't get a chance to finish before I got married.<P>I know it's easier said than done, but try not to focus on the time. God's time is not our time and His ways are not our ways. He knows the end from the beginning and the beginning from the end. Sometimes we think that because God is God, He doesn't need time to work, but He does. It takes time for Him to put certain circumstances and situations in place before He can answer a certain prayer request. Sometimes God's answer takes time because we aren't really ready to handle His answer so He waits until we get to the point that He knows he can trust us with the answer.<P>The type of attitude we have while we wait is also important. Are we waiting patiently and trusting him by helping others and getting the focus off of ourselves or are we sitting around saying when God when?<P>God is not on human time but He knows that we are and I believe that He takes that into consideration when deciding when He will bless us with the answer to out prayers.<P>I have been in this test for almost 2 years now, but it's because of me, not God. If I had known and obeyed all that I know now, I would probably be giving my testimony of deliverance by now. But it's ok because when I am delivered I will have an even bigger and better testimony to share and hopefully be able to help someone else to avoid the pitfalls that I fell into.<P>Roxy