Well,<BR>This afternoon h came by and talked. He said we stopped talking long ago and grew apart.That we were tooo young to get married. and it just didn't work. These things happen.<BR>He said I need to get on with my life, as he is getting on with his. He took the time to point out that he may go out of town for a long weekend with the guys baseball team. I asked how can you do that when you can't even keep the kids two days in a row. He just looked at me.<BR>And then said. Well, I've got to work. I'm working all the hours God sends. and thats so the kids can keep up the lifestyle to which their accustomed. ??<P>He said we could still have sex.(for the record I asked.) He said he didn't want to mess up the separation agreement. <BR>I said what would I gain by stalling it???<BR>He said that we need to take care of the kids and get on with our lives. He said you can't fix this one. So you need to stop trying and just be.<P>I told him that I appreciated him talking to me. That I need to understand it all. He said you saw it coming. I said you know, I knew things weren't right but this really threw me. He said get on with your life. <P>He said look I don't love you. I replied that he had said that repeatedly and that he also said he probably never did. I took the chance to mention that this puts into question over 16 years of my life. <P>He answered, why does it always have to be about you?<BR>I said essentially you are telling me that my kids weren't born out of love and that is very hard to take. He said don't bring them into this. I answered well I'd never say that to them but that is what your saying.<BR>HE said believe what you want to believe.<P>Well, I know one thing. This man is so gone from me. I have finally given him over to God completely. I can't do it any more. <P>And you know I was looking at my h and praying as he talked. The Holy Spirit was right there! I was so nice it was unreal. <P>God has him (well he always has but I give him up now)<P>I just talked to my friend and she feels that something is imminent as do I.<BR>This man is a walking heartattack. He has very high cholesterol (285+) drinks excessively, has acid reflux or an ulcer or something. Routinely gets chest pains. <BR>He takes his cholesterol medication -which probably does very little considering how much he drinks.<P>I can see him having a heart attack. He has been working 12-18 hour days almost continuously since May. If I'm right he has had at most the 4th of July off. Perhaps an afternoon as well. He work Saturday morning from 0600-11pm and then got up to be at work at 0600 today.<P>Somethings gotta give.<P>Any thoughts guys????? or perhaps profound words of wisdom.<P>May God bless us all indeed.<P>

Hi Lkd, not many here that cant relate to what your H has said and told you. I was told by my W to give it up many times by her and that i needed to move on with my life. she screamed one time she would never ever come back to me etc, etc. What you have to realize is most get convicted and have to face themselves when we dont give up. For them the guilt is just to great. So they will lie to try to get you to give up so they can feel better about their sin. They also test us to see how solid our faith really is. When they start telling you to give it up, thats acually a good sign that they are struck to the core of their hearts. They start to try everything to get you to give up, and that includes the age ol lie of they never did love us. <BR>Let nothing move you or shake you is what the bible says. Stand on Gods word. It will help you see this thru to your miracle. <BR> Ive acually learned a lot from my wife recently as we have discussed and worked thru a lot of what has happened. She has told me many things that i knew in my heart but wasnt sure of. Like she felt justified to leave cause i was better off without her and she didnt think it hurt me as bad as it did. Or she would get angry and say things she didnt mean so she wouldnt break down and cry instead. She also told me she put a lot of effort in convincing herself that the lies were truth and vise versa. When you live a lie the truth isnt so welcome. She acually wanted to come home to me most of the time out there and she would contiplate calling me all thee time. She convinced herself i would reject her or hang up, yet she knew i was standing.<BR>Now my wife wants to come home, but is in a treatment half way house for a while until she is ready for the real world. She can come stay with me 3 times a week and we are almost there after 3 years. Im already seeing miracles and my wife is acually very in love with me now. Shes upset that ive went to a graveyard shift cause we wont be able to see each other as much and she isnt doing so well with it. Its hard but praise God she misses me now. God will work it all out.<BR>Trust in the Lord to see you thru your trials. Yes God can be slow according to our time frame, but He is sure. <BR> <BR>Dear Lord, i pray that you would give my sister Lkd the strenth in you too make it thru to compleation of the work you have planned for her and her husband. Give her rest from her trials Lord, annd calm her heart and let her know in a big way that no matter how it looks its all in your hands and our prayers never return void. In Jesus name,amen<BR>Mark

Somebody else??? Comment Please.<BR>I really need feedback on this....<BR>LKD

<B>He said we stopped talking long ago and grew apart.That we were tooo young to get married. and it just didn't work. These things happen.<BR>He said I need to get on with my life, <BR>He said that we need to take care of the kids and get on with our lives. He said you can't fix this one. So you need to stop trying and just be.<P>I told him that I appreciated him talking to me. That I need to understand it all. He said you saw it coming. I said you know, I knew things weren't right but this really threw me. He said get on with your life. <P>He said look I don't love you. I replied that he had said that repeatedly and that he also said he probably never did. I took the chance to mention that this puts into question over 16 years of my life. </B><P>Lkd, This is "FOG TALK" it doesn't make any sense, nor is it supposed to. Just ignore it!! In fact, it's kinda humorous when you realize it's fog talk!!!! You can listen to it objectively and realize HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT!!!!! <P>The business about "get on with your life" is an old line, too.....he means - "Just let me see others, and if you go and do it too, I won't feel so guilty!!"<P><B>I just talked to my friend and she feels that something is imminent as do I.</B><P>I agree.....I have said before that Satan works especially hard when he sees a "breakthrough" victory for the Lord just around the corner.....we have seen it over and over again....just BELIEVE that is so....it probably is what is going on.....his fog could be lifting....confusion setting in. This is Satan's best tool, and if he's pulling out all the stops, it's because he's losing his grip on your H. JUST HANG IN THERE!! Keep praying and believing.<P>We really need to set up a fasting and prayer time asap....I just got off the phone with my dad, and he's angry w/my H, and he hasn't been before....he was yelling to me about what I should do, "dump all his SH*T he left for you on HIS doorstep!!" and "What was he trying to tell me when he said blah, blah, blah...." all kinds of weird stuff coming from my dad....he isn't usually this introspective on "relationships"! I was almost in tears. He's frustrated, he can't fix this, and H's being a JERK by staying away. My dad even said, "Well, he's probably NOT coming back after all this time" (It's been 10 1/2 weeks) - I had to "reel dad back in" by saying it's not that long, after all, he's done a LOTTA LOTTA stuff to be ashamed of, and he probably can't figure out how to fix this mess he made...... (I HOPE that's true!!) Dad bought it, but his anger and frustration taken out on me hurt me and I got off the phone and cried.<P>Sorry, this was YOUR thread, and about YOU. I just had to get on here and "get fixed" again, but I should've started a new thread with my stuff. <P>Lupo<p>[This message has been edited by lupolady (edited July 30, 2001).]