Okay friends,<P>Yesterday in counseling she made the point that having worked in a Christian counseling service prior to this one she had numerous encounters with clients who felt they had had a "word" from God about the restoration of their marriages. These "words" had also been confirmed scripturally and by close christian friends. <P>This threw me and has created a "challenge" of faith in my less than optimum prayerful existence. Especially as I feel that God had told me that this was going to happen and it was confirmed by 3 friends (who would NEVER tell me something that they didn't genuinely believe) and I have also been sent to specific pages in the bible that speak directly of "restoration", giving God the glory, Jesus pitifully crying out to God and his prayers being answered, the part in Joel about restoring what the locusts had ravaged,and on. <BR>This is very potent for me as I COULD NOT have called up those pages (as I don't know the bible that well) without some sort of reference which I DID NOT have.<P>My dear friend has said " You know, that may well be true. We don't know the circumstances.......But, when God gives you a word you stand on that until you get a clear word that says otherwise from Him."<P>I have prayed hard since yesterday and all I get is the same messages from God: Let go. Wait. Not long. and What did I say to you?"<P>My question for each of you is this: Why are you standing for your marriage? Is it deep faith? Or have any of you have anything similar happen? If so could you provide some details?<P>Thanks so much.<P>Oh that God would bless us all indeed!<P>LKD

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lkd:<BR><B>My question for each of you is this: Why are you standing for your marriage? Is it deep faith? Or have any of you have anything similar happen? If so could you provide some details?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>OK, I'll go first. I am standing for my M, first of all, because I believe God gave me direction to do so. He led me to this site just days after my H left. Prior to that time, I felt I was in a black hole, with NO direction, or idea of what to do, or what was going to happen. Being a christian for about 25 years, I knew Who would have answers, and I prayed and then I found this site! Shortly after I found this site, someone posted another christian site, and I went there (RejoiceMinistries.org), and they pointed out that "God HATES divorce" - which gave me confirmation that God did indeed want me to believe in the restoration of my M! That was the beginning of believing that it really could happen. I also then felt peaceful knowing that God wanted my M restored! I began to sleep at night after this.<P>Then, I began praying and reading my Bible waaay more than I had for about the last 5-7 years....and began reading more and more scriptures which seemed to apply. WHile I did NOT seek specific verses saying "Lupo and H will reunite in M" I DID feel God "spoke" to me in the verses I did read, which I was able to apply to my situation. After all, God answers prayers which are prayed "according to His will..." and I knew GOD HATES DIVORCE, so I felt God did NOT want us divorced! So I boldly claimed that - asking God to restore my M was praying IN HIS WILL!!!<P>One night I was told in a dream to read a particular scripture, which spoke directly to me in a personal way. It used names which were familiar to me, and I just KNEW it was God's way of speaking to me personally so that I could understand that God WAS working! <P>The way I have heard it explained about "getting confirmation" for God speaking to us is that it WILL come from 3 sources: Number one is the Word. Second is your own thoughts, and third is another person....all MUST agree, and say the same thing for it to be God speaking.<P>But I would exhort you, my dear sister LKD, to STOP asking God "How do I know?" I believe God has answered you, and you need to prove to Him that you believe Him now! I don't say this in a mean way, but every couple of days you ask us again, "did God mean what I think He meant? What do you all think?" I think you KNOW what God meant. He told you, your friends told you, and we have all discussed it!! After awhile, it doesn't sound like faith anymore, just YOU doubting and yet trying to be sure. Don't test God like that....just believe! We're all with you on this, here. We've all prayed, we all stand and believe, because God wills it, we are not outside God's will in asking our M's to be restored. This is what God wants, too. Period. That should be the end of it. If you haven't been on the RejoiceMinistries site, you should go! They have a STANDER'S prayer on there that I have printed out and taped to my refrigerator!! Every time I begin to doubt, I read it. OUT LOUD!! It particularly is good for those times you are tempted to look at OUTWARD circumstances, instead of trusting God.<P> They sent me some material, which is VERY good, and I read it often. Also, with their materials, they have phone numbers.....now this one number is supposed to tell you "what the ws is thinking about while they are gone" (since the H of this ministering couple was the WS). I gotta tell ya, I CRIED the first time I listened to it!! If you want to feel like you have just looked inside your poor, lost, guilt-ridden, confused H's brain (I was convinced mine had left his on the side of the road somewhere), dial it and listen!!! <BR>Be ready to cry. 954-781-5047.<P>Lupo

Amen, Lupo! Ditto for me.<P>I do believe that scripture allows divorce in the cases of adultery, and horrible physical abuse. But our vows said in sickness and in health, and for richer or poorer. I believe that adultery one time is a sickness. We all make mistakes. As long as the adulterer or even the abuser, takes responsibility for his/her actions, and seeks guidance and help to correct and prevent the action further, I believe God wants us to wait, pray, and make all efforts to lift our spouse, reconcile, and remain together until death us do part. I don't believe God would want us yoked to a repeat and deliberate offender.<P>I too feel led bby God in many ways - this web-site, my Christian counselor, my thoughts through prayer, and other books and information I have read, to stand by and wait, pray, and improve myself. I agree that you need to quit asking "are you sure, GOd?" and trust Him. You can ask for His guidance along the way, and to let you know when it is time to change course. He wants you to trust Him, He wants marriages to succeed. <P>I am reading an excellent book by Beth Moore. It is wonderful! It's called Praying God's Word. It's full of scripture to pray on certain topics. They help us overcome strongholds in life.. Addictions, depression, lask of faith, deception, rejection, etc..... You might look at it in the bookstore and see if you like it.<P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Friends,<P>Okay Okay. Point taken.<P><BR>I have to give you some background information so you understand why this is so so hard for me and perhaps you can offer some guidance/help/reinforcement/whatever.<P>My H and I have been together for about 16 years now. My husband is a very non-practicing catholic and I am a relatively new christian (about 3-4 years). My faith has gradually become stronger over this time,especially in the last 2ish years. However, I have not been challenged like this and haven't had a crisis (apart from the ones with this marriage)in that time.<P>I have been a bit casual about faith and God unfortunately until this time.<P>I also am a very independent woman with an abusive childhood and as a result have issues with control (I've got to do it myself cause if I don't no one will help me). I have one close friend in this time apart from my husband. I do have closeish relationships at work but they do not involve anything after work. So therefore, I work,raise the kids and am really wrapped up in my husband and have been for a long time. <P>Now I have gone from this routine to depending on my 2 christian friends who happen to be neighbors as well, and praying and reading scripture for reassurance just about all day long.<P>I have real trouble sleeping,I have lost almost 20 lbs, and think about other stuff only in the time it takes to get something done. <P>My life revolves around this right now.<P>While I know at this point I can do nothing to change his attitude/mindset I still have trouble surrending. I am being very obedient to what I have heard from the Lord (as in don't call him unless an emergency,don't talk to his co-worker/friend anymore,be nice,positive,patient.)<P>My husband has gone from being a friendly,sensitive guy to one who is hard,cold, and distant. Occasionally I get glimpses of the real him (the man I married).<P>He also has an enormously stressful job that has little positives about it. He has been in the job for almost 4 years now and that is when he started to really change. He also works on average 10-18 hours per day. He insists that he LOVES his job. But complains about his treatment regularly.<P>I do understand that God is working and that I must wait on Him but it has been 73 days since he left and I'm sooo afraid.<P>Now do you understand?????<P>LKD

I agree with everyone above. I believe God led me to do this also. I am a new Christian, not quite a year yet. Since then my H divorced (more than 17 years together and counting) me and received everything. I didn't fight him at all. We are still friends and I am still in the same home as he is. I pray everyday I will not have to move and my marriage will be restored. My H has allowed me to stay there with him and our kids since I can't afford to move yet. Now tell me, is that a man that doesn't love me? I don't think so. I believe the Lord is working, otherwise my finances woul dhave improved. It is hard being there and not telling him how I feel, but that would only push him away more. Visit the following site: <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>It has been very helpful to me, I thought the book was great and it is all scriptual. Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy, this path is hard, but I believe it is the right path. Take Care and God Bless. Email me if you need a friend.<BR>Barb<BR><P>------------------<BR>

You know, I have been raised to know God for all my life. My parents weren't active Christians when I was growing up, but we (kids) generally went to our church off and on, and my Dad did teach us about God. I had many instances in my childhood where my faith healed me. Of course, it's easier for a child to have faith. I also had one incident in my M that my faith was tested, and it came through, but the problem only lasted about a month.<P>I have been praying, fasting, reading, led to this site, been shown many signs, etc., and it isn't until now (4 months later), that I feel that I have truly received my answer. My pastor told me last Wednesday that my answer to my prayers was coming from God. That Friday, my cousin came into town and we had a revival, for which he was preaching. He did not know anything of my circumstances, and during his preaching, he told me that God was going to fill a void in my life very soon. Well, of course, I know that void is my husband. Here I have God's answer, and I'm still having a hard time letting go. I think I have let go, but I am still so sad because he's not home yet.<P>I guess what I'm trying to say is you can have a life-long relationship with God, and still have your faith tested. I thought I had a lot of faith, no doubt, but it's being tested once again.<P>Do you all think that being sad, even though you know God's answer and you know all is going to work out, is a lack of faith? I know I am supposed to lift my head up, and I at least try to when he's around, but for the most part, I am really sad most of the time because I am so lonely, and I just can't believe it has come to this.<P>Before I got the message from God, I had taken my first anti-depressant. This is something I have been struggling with. Just before church that day, I took my first, and cried about it. Then, when I got the message, I felt that God is really going to bring him home very soon and was telling me to hold off taking the anti-depressants, so I am waiting - still very sad.<P>God Bless!<BR>TIG

Hi TIG,<P>I know that taking medicine can sometimes feel like a lack of faith but we have to remember that the Lord allowed us to develop medicine and the Lord made doctors. If you break your leg, are you going to pray or are you going to the emergency room to get it put in a cast?<P>I think that medicine can help us in some cases. If we are continually crying, have a hard time going to work, can't take proper care of our children because we are too tired, sad or irritable, I believe it is best to take some medicine to retrain our brain.<P>We have to live; we have to go on and we have to witness. So if we are physically unable to do so, due to our depression, I believe that we are meant to get help.<P>After a few months or even a year on an anti-depressants, we will be over the worst and able to go on without it. I really would not make it into a faith issue if it is a question of fulfilling your role in life as mother or father, wife or husband and worker.<P>It is not a failure if you take medicine - you are humbly accepting your limitations and the Lord is alway happy with the humble.<P>What we are going through is the test of our lives. The enemy is using all possible tricks to get us to quit because he loses so much when we stand. Let's not give him any reason to clap. If we fall or falter, confess it and ask for the Lord's mercy. Let everything we say or do glorify the Lord our God.<P>Hold on and keep coming back here, praying for the others and sharing. The Lord has descended from Heaven to be with you in your sorrow. Rejoice in that - it is no small gift.<BR>