Please pray for me and my marriage. My husband moved out 5 months ago... I have been homeschooling for 7 years and haven't worked in 11 years. He has still payed the bills so far, but he has hardly spent any time with the kids. I still love him and would like for him to come back. He has a list 8 miles long of all the ways that I have failed him over the 16 years of our marriage. I found email between he and a coworker that was very sexually oriented, but he denies that it ever went beyond the email and says that it was not an affair and I made him do it anyway because of the wys that I have failed him. I have told him that I am willing to work on changing, but he does not seem inteersted in working on our marriage. I do not want divorce in my life or in my children's lives and none of this is even like im at all. I think that he is emotionally addicted to her even though he denies that they are having an affair. She is married with children too. Please pray for us! I have been praying (and crying) my heart out for months and it seems like God is not listening at all... I am so heartbroken. The kids are going to school starting next week and I have to get a job and I am hardly in an emotional state conducive to finding a job and even being able to work. I don't think that he loves me anymore. This is my first time to the site and I emailed him the link to the last letter in the Infidelity of Your Husband section. I don't know if he will read it or not. Please pray for me.

Hi Painfulplace,<P>I am so sorry to hear how much disruption is happening in your life and in your children's lives - so many changes for you and it probably seems like you are throwing your past away. You are not, though.<P>You are not perfect and none of us are, but your heart and your values are right where they should be: with your home and with your children, and desiring reconciliation with your husband and not revenge.<P>God is listening to you and you know that He cries, too, strangely enough. As powerful and strong as the Lord is, He loves us so much that we are capable of hurting Him.<P>Your husband is hurting the Lord a lot, and being tempted away by the enemy. This has just a little bit to do with you and your marriage and far more to do with the fact that there is not that much time left for the little demons so they are doing whatever they can to drag as many away from the Lord as possible.<P>You can overcome all of this by standing and offering up all the suffering to the Lord so that you sanctify your husband as the Bible asks us to do and your stand is a witness to the faith you profess. You may help 50 or 100 people by your stand, so you have to be strong and continue.<P>I know it is horribly painful - I couldn't eat and couldn't go to work and cried and cried. But things get better, they really do. This forum helped me so much, especially Mark (Lostpup) and Gentle, who can't reach us right now but is a rock of faith.<P>If you haven't been there, try going to <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> and order one of the books. They are based on the Bible and help you to find the strength to stand when everything and everyone (especially your H) will tell you to give up. <P>We all love something Mark quoted (I think his wife said it right before she finally turned back to him) : "Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle." <P>The Lord has BIG plans for you. You are not here by accident. You are one of His special witnesses and He is calling you to stand. Don't disappoint Him. You will have some bad days, but He will fill you with the Holy Spirit and make up for those days.<P>I have this picture which I believe He gave me: It's me or you or one of us and we have skinned our knee. We are around 3 and we cry and howl. Then the Lord LEANS DOWN and scoops us up. Our booboo still hurts but the LOVE we feel makes us happy inside. We are comforted.<P>Lord, Jesus Christ, Your love is beyond our imagination. It doesn't ask of us, it only wants to cover us and fill us with gifts. Yet so often we turn away - maybe we feel we are not worthy of this perfect love, and we are embarassed. But that love doesn't go away and calls us home again and again.<P>Lord, I have never figured out how to witness to my husband. Help me to do so and all of us here to witness to our spouses, especially Painfulplace. Let us do so in a quiet, nonthreatening way.<P>Help her to stand strong. Help her to get through these massive changes in her life and to be strong enough for her children too. Give her Your strength and Your peace to comfort her and keep her steady.<P>Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ, Only Son of the Living God. I ask this in Your Holy Name. Amen.<P><BR>

I just sent the email quoted below to my husband. Please pray that he hears it with his heart and that he will be responsive to it, with God's help softening his heart. Let me know what you think of it too, please.<P>"I found this website that had very interesting stuff on it that explains a lot about how a husband and wife can fail to meet their spouse's emotional needs and cause them to find another source for the meeting of those needs. They say that they have saved a lot of marriages where someone was not in love with their spouse anymore. They say that they can help people learn how to change what they do so that they fulfill each others emotional needs. Could you please go to the site and read the summary part? And then could we talk about it later? It really did help me to see some stuff, but there is a survey that you have to fill out to give to your spouse so that they understand what is important to you. Usually two people will have very different ways of feeling loved and what someone usually does to express their love is what would make them feel loved, not what will make the other person feel loved. <BR>I do not believe that God wants us to get divorced. It says in the Bible that God hates divorce. It is never His will. He does allow it because of our weaknesses, and if that is where your heart truly is, then I understand and I will no longer continue to bug you. I do not believe that God wants you to go through life feeling miserable and unloved either. I want to meet your needs, I do love you and I know that I have screwed up totally in some way that I cannot quite understand. Please help me to understand how I can meet your needs and give me the chance to try. If we do try and it doesn't work out, then we could always get divorced later..... I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss your wry sense of humor. I miss the way you tease the kids. I miss your playing football with the kids after work or on the weekends. They miss having you here daily also. I miss your snoring and jerking the bed. I miss hugging you and kissing you and feeling you run your hands over my body. I miss even the smell of you. I know that you do care about me and what happens to me but that you are not feeling in love with me anymore. I hope that there is some sort of chance for us so that we do not have to tear our family apart. If that does happen, i know that God will take care of the kids and us, but is that the best we could do for them? Please don't read this email and forget about it or ignore it. Please read the stuff on the site and reply to me.<BR>And may God bless you and keep you always.<P>Click here: A Summary of Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts <P>Love,<BR>Me"<p>[This message has been edited by painfulplace (edited August 05, 2001).]

I am just regaining my faith through my own ordeal and I will be happy to pray for you tonight as I go to sleep.<P>God Bless you,<BR>vb_guy

Dear Painful, welcome and i hope we can be of some comfort here during your time of pain and sorrow. <P>Dear Lord, i lift my sister up to you in her time of pain and suffering. Lord she needs to know your there and hears her cries. Lord give her comfort and peace that surppases all understanding and let her know you also weap with her for what the enemy is doing to her husband and marriage. I lift her marriage up to you Lord that you would restore and heal it as we know that is what brings you glory Lord. May you have mercy on her husband as you humble him lord and turn his heart back to you, his wife and children. I thank you Lord for your mercy and unending Love. In Jesus name, Amen<P>Painful, nothing is to great for the Lord to handle. Allow your pain and sorrow to draw you nearer to the Lord. The Lord works out all things for the good of those who love him. Many of us thru our trials have grown close to the Lord and made what the enemy tried to do backfire in his face. The Lord has turned my trials into His glory. That gives me joy. No, it didnt come easy and my story is a long and hard one, but thru it all i truly know my Lord and the enemy can never take that away from me nor our salvation. No matter how it looks or feels, God is still in control. <BR>You are living to please the Lord. Right now isnt a good time to listen to H. Hes full of guilt and shame and doesnt want to face it so he turns it around on you to justify his behavior.Let him figure it out on his own. Draw close to the Lord and let Him heal your heart. <P>Im not much into books or plans. Read many books and tried many plans. It all came down to plan "P" Prayer. Luke 18 is a good example. Jesus taught with a parable of the widow and the judge to pray and not give up. If we dont give up we will be rewarded. After 3 years my wife and i are on the road to restoration,Praise God. I have had many moments along the way. Many not so good, but the Lord has seen me thru it all. May the Lord bless you with His peace and presence. <BR>Mark

such beautiful words and prayers, tth and lostpup. I must tell you thank you again for always being here and being such a blessing. <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Dear painful, 2 years ago my husband announced that he no longer loved me and he wanted to move out after 17 yrs of marriage. I was devastated. Today we have a 6 mo old baby and our marriage is more satisfying than it has been in 15 years. Please hang in there. The power of the lord can work miracles. Here is a prayer that really helped me to endure.<P>Heavenely Father, I ask you to rebuke and bind Satan in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. I ask you to build a hedge of thorns around ny partner so that anyone with wrong influence will lose interest in him and leave. I have come to see that Satan is binding and blinding my husband in awful bondage. He is in such condition that he cannot or will not come to you for help on his own. I stand in for him in intercessory prayer before your throne. I draw upon the Holy Spirit that it may guide me to pray in wisdom, power and understanding. I leave all my personal worries and concernes to you Lord to take care of. Grant me the grace to be persistent and faithful in my intercessions that you may be glorified through his deliverance. Amen.<P>I hope this helps.

Thank you SpiceJar and others. All of your prayers and replies have touched me deeply. I have been praying the prayers from Stormy O'Martian's book "The Power of a Praying Wife" for several months now. I will add this great prayer in and thank you for the encouraging story spicejar!<BR>I really feel hopleless but I remind myself that my hope is in Jesus. Thank you everyone.<BR>In Him