Well, it's been almost two weeks since I received my answer from God, but he's still working on my husband. Remember, God sent a message through a visiting preacher that he was going to fill the void in my life very soon. I believe with all my heart that he's going to restore my marriage, but I'm still sad. I gave in to the anti-depressants on Monday. I just couldn't stand the sadness any longer. I asked God to have them make me sick if I shouldn't be taking them - so far I'm okay. I'll be glad when they kick in. My H has been gone now for 4 months and 11 days, and counting.<P>I so need prayer right now. I feel so unloved. My brother is visiting, and we talked after church yesterday and he was giving me suggestions on how to get my H to quit taking so long. He suggested I file for D, and that if there's anything there with my H, he will come running back. I told him I will not file for D - I don't believe in it and I don't want it. He understood. We spoke for a little longer, and then as he was leaving, and I was getting ready to drive off, he came back and said that he has a feeling my husband will be back sooner than I think. Ahhh, another witness, you think? I asked him if he just got a feeling, and he just smiled and said goodnight. Oh, how I hope it is very soon. <P>I spoke to my husband Saturday, and asked him if it was just the resentment keeping him away. He said, "No...Yes...I don't know." <P>I said, "Well, just think about this - if it's just the resentment, and deep inside you know we could make it work, don't you think that coming home to work on the marriage, and being able to enjoy the changs I've made, might make the resentment go away sooner." <P>He said, "I'll really think about that."<P>Then I said, "Please remember, it's not just me sitting in limbo here - your three sons are waiting, too." He said, "I'm well aware of that."<P>I just think he doesn't want to let go of his bad feelings. No matter how unfounded they may be, he is entitled to feel the way he does, and I do have to respect that, hence, the changes I have made.<P>I was at church Sunday, and I broke down at the alter - almost fainted I think. I sobbed and weeped so loudly and strongly - I guess I was really handing it over to God at that moment. I'm just sooo tired. I never sleep, and now my kids want to talk to my husband about coming home. I encouraged this.<P>Please pray for us, as I have grown tired, and don't know how to pray anymore - I just pray constantly for mercy. I don't know what else to say, but I "STAND THEREFORE".<P>God bless you all!<BR>TIG

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I so need prayer right now. I feel so unloved.<P>I just think he doesn't want to let go of his bad feelings. No matter how unfounded they may be, he is entitled to feel the way he does, and I do have to respect that, hence, the changes I have made.<P>Please pray for us, as I have grown tired, and don't know how to pray anymore - I just pray constantly for mercy. I don't know what else to say, but I "STAND THEREFORE".<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>TiG,<BR> I understand your feelings. BUT I also know that God doens't work according to our feelings, OR our timetable! When we grow tired, we can "mount up with wings like eagles..." all we have to do is TRUST our Heavenly Father.<P>Dear Heavenly Father,<BR> Please give TiG your peace. Give her Your love in the meantime, Lord, as she is feeling abandoned, and she is feeling UNloved. I know that feeling, Lord, as I felt that way last week-end. Lord, you gave me exceedingly abundantly above my thoughts after that, and all during the week, so Father, I know you will give to TiG the same way. Pour out Your blessings to her even now, so that she will know You care more than anyone can even comprehend.<P> Father, she IS trusting in you, and she witnesses to this fact with her name every time she signs on here. Father, we know our time is not Your time, and our ways are not Your ways. But Lord, we ARE only human, and you know our flesh is weak, and tempted to throw in the towel. Lord, please make TiG's wait short so as not to weaken her faith. <P>Lord Jesus, you died for her sins, and her H's. Please show her what the hold-up is, and please fix it as soon as Your will can use this situation to Your Glory. Lord, we come to you boldly, Father, because we are your children, and You delight in us asking You for things, much as an earthly father delights in his children asks him for favors. Lord Jesus, we know that Abram wrestled with our God in the night, all night, and even had the hollow of his thigh torn apart, but he wouldn't let go until he was blessed. Father, we won't stop asking and wrestling for this blessing until you grant it. Lord, we believe that You alone are able to make it possible for our WS's to come home, but Father, we are flesh and blood human beings, and so we weaken. Father, make the miracles happen sooner so that we do not faint from exhaustion.<P>Please, Lord. Give us the miracles, Father. We ask boldly as Your children, knowing You won't deny us any desire of our hearts, according to Your will.<P>Lord, as faithful servants of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, we witness and proclaim Him as our Savior and Lord. We hold you up, we Love you Father, and we give You all Glory for our salvation and the Holy Spirit in us that helps us day by day, knowing which way to turn, with His Gentle, small voice saying, "This is the way, walk ye in it." Father, we know this voice is from You, and we thank you that you NEVER let us feel unloved, that You will NEVER leave us or abandon us. <P>Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit, because we have all three Persons of the Godhead to help little puny us make it through this earthly journey into our next lives which will be eternity singing your praises, and basking in Your love, forever. We love You, Lord!<P>Amen<BR><p>[This message has been edited by lupolady (edited August 09, 2001).]