Oh,I haven't posted in a while but I've been reading. Things are not so well. I broke down and called my h good friend just now. <P>He said that H is doing much better than he had expected him to. I told him that H hadn't had the kids in over 6 weeks. He was quite shocked and was under the impression that H had them a couple of days every week. He also said they had been working a great great deal (which confirmed what H said).<P>He said H insists he's over us and not coming back. and that is that. <P>Friend says he just doesn't know. Concerned that H isn't seeing his kids at all though.<P>I asked him to speak to my H discreetly without letting on that I called. <P>I should not have done this. I prayed about this guy and honestly believe that God did not want me to call him. and I deliberately disobeyed. <P>The friend says h isn't seeing anyone to his knowledge. That all he does is work and needs a 6 pack to go to sleep at night. <P>Please someone tell me what kind of guy would trade a great family for a single life where you work allll the time and never see your kids? <P>H insisted that he is going to sort out his schedule to be available more for the kids. But I just can't see it happening. We can't make it on a regular salary.<P>Just can't do it. I have canceled the paper,and will probably do the cable and downsize the phones and am cutting back dramatically on spending but its just not enough. <P>Please pray that this resolves soon. I know that God is working but why does he have to take so long. My H says one minute that its over and then the next "lets see what happens".<P>What's with that?????????????????????????<P>lkd

Please go to <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>It has been great for me. They have a restoredmarriage and she said the same things you are saying about your H. They will look happy and pretend for awhile, but deep down they aren't happy. How can they be when satan has his grips in them? Take your eyes off the circumstances and leave them on the Lord. Show unconditional love and try not to call him. That will probably push him away more. Give it all to God, and He will restore the marriage better than ever before.

Please don't beat yourself up over calling someone to help. I have done the same things, and all I can say is that it NEVER worked, but I did what I felt was right at the time. Try to forgive your H and do give it ALL to the Lord. That is the only way that things will go in the right direction. Have unending faith, and pray, pray, pray. I will say a prayer, too for you and H and kids. I know that God does answer prayers (it has been a long time coming), but who am I to question?? I am a much stronger Christian, and I know that my marriage will be better and stronger than I ever thought possible. I have forgiven so much, and feel truly blessed by what I have been through. I know that times are difficult, but He promises so much for us. Dont give up!!!! You are perfect just as you are!!<P>Faith n Him

Thanks. I know that my relationship with God has improved dramatically since this started. I know that preserverance builds faith,and that a relationship with God is THE most important thing we can have. BUT................<P>It is just so hard.<P>But on a positive note: My kids and I have stronger friendships with some of our neighbors and friends. My son also gets biweekly visits from an audiologist (who makes housecalls) and she has turned out to be more than just a mobile therapist-she's an awesome child of GOD as well. Go figure! This woman has stayed over 2 hours past her "job" just talking and listening and uplifting me and encouraging me. <BR>And as a further blessing this therapy was the "missing link" in my son's needs. The insurance company refused originally to fund this sort of therapy but wouldn't you know they are paying her!! -and I can just afford our co-pay. Any one who's had therapy (of any sort) knows this stuff doesn't come cheap.<P>Oh, how wonderful God is. <P>My son's best friends Dad has spent some serious time with the boys these past weeks as well;which has been so so good for him. This guy is really a gift.(and to think a few months ago we basically just acknowledged each other !!! Isn't it just amazing how the Lord works!<P>God will bless us all indeed. I know it.<BR>lkd