Oh, I am so sad today, and frustrated, and angry. I met with my friend last night and she told me what she would want if I moved in with her. She would want me to pay 1/2 the bills and groceries. While I see her need for this, I don't think it is a fair request. I would be sleeping in her dining nook, on mattress, with my 5 mo. old. My children would be sharing a room with her boys. I mean, if I'm going to pay 1/2 of everything, I should at least be entitled to a room. My sister will let me stay with her for $400 a month, no bills, no groceries. I'm sure my parents would let us stay in their garage apartment for about $200 per month, no bills, buy my own groceries.<BR>So, I told the kids they had to choose between my sister and my parents. My parents live kind of far from their school, so it would involve getting up very early in the AM to get them to school, and get my baby to my sister's house for daycare. I really thought they would choose my sister, but they know they would have no privacy there, so they chose my Mom's and Dad's. This morning was full of tears from both of them, and from me. They were so angry. Angry we have to move, and angry because of their dad's attitude. He just kept saying this family has to make sacrifices, and you have to be big boys and be tough through this.<P>Then, he kept on me about my choices of where to move. First, he tried to convince me to move in with my friend. He said, even if you're only saving about $300 a month, you can use that $300 to get out of the hole. I told him I did not want to have to live with someone for that long. It would take a long time if I lived with her. He tried to convince me, but to no avail. All of this he was doing in front of my kids. Then, I walked out of the room, and said, "I am not going to be the bad guy in this. I am doing what I have to do." He got angry and said, "Everyone knows I'm the bad guy in this. You don't have to be the bad guy, blah, blah, blah." I asked him why he couldn't discuss this with me in private, why he had to do it in front of the kids. He said he was trying to discuss it with me. He said, "I just don't understand why you don't stay with your sister. She is much closer." I told him, "I gave the kids the choice, and they chose the privacy." He then proceeded to try to convince them they were making the wrong decision. I told them exactly what they would be giving up: stay at grandparents - give up freedom to visit friends, etc.; stay at aunt's - give up privacy. They chose the privacy. H is still trying to convince me it's wrong. He said I am going to be very tired from the drive every morning. I told him that I just want the kids to be as happy as possible, and if having their privacy makes them happy, then I would suffer for it.<P>I don't know what he wants from me. I am doing what I think is best for us. I want to get out from under the bills, so that when he does come back, we won't have that stress as well. I know that's what he wants, too, but I guess seeing the hurt on their faces is killing him. Well, he just better accept that he put that hurt there, because I absolutely REFUSE to be held responsible for THIS, along with all the other crap he is already put us through!<P>TIG<P>
