Everyone,<BR> I feel that our "collective prayer time" was a HUGE success, and I'd like to do it again this coming week!<BR> Also, I posted a Praise Report last week after I spoke w/H and he was VERY nice, and sounded concerned....<BR> HOWEVER, there was some "guarded" optimism from <B>Tryingtohope</B>. She wrote to me: "<I>Be aware that you are going to get "nipped at" after this. There will a little backlash from your H since his feelings were reawakened and he's not ready for that.</I><P> Trying, BOY did you hit that nail squarely on the head!! I just spoke w/him again today. AND...now, after 3 months of living hand-to-mouth with daily labor (basically) working for a construction co. doing "custom" work on "million dollar homes" as he put it, he has decided to get a "real job." See, H has a lot of physical problems, bad back, knees, neck, spinal injury, carpal tunnel, etc. so it is hard for him to move, do a lot of physical labor. YET, he worked on construction jobs since moving "there" - almost like he didn't want to get a "real job" - was content to work PT, and get paid cash, although by his own admission, he could only work 2-3 days per week due to physical limitations. Today he told me he's applying for his "old job" back at Intl. Airport (he retired from that job and we moved out of that city). He also said he's applying at other retail computer stores (one chain he has worked at, so he'll easily be hired there).<P>I feel this is a MAJOR step backward for ME. I mean, if he gets hired THERE, WHY would he leave there to come home?!?! I see it as a reason to STAY there, to get enough money to get the d paperwork started, etc.<P>I also see the "other side" (if there is another side) that he "saw himself" clearly after talking to me, and saw that he was acting like a "no-good slug" and needed to get up OFF his hiney and get a "REAL JOB" and so that is what he is doing. Good. Finally. Except WHY IN THAT CITY????<P>Is this typical WS behavior as the "fog" begins to lift? That he is waffling around in the fog trying to "convince himself" that he did the right thing, and that as soon as he gets a "real job" and gets his life straightened out, it'll all work out for the best? Is THIS what's happening? I need some input here. I don't see this as a GOOD thing for "US." Only a good thing for his future (without me) <P>Lupo

Hi Lupo, Trying was right and this is normal behaviour. Try not to loose sight of Gods timing in all this. It is very easy to do when you get your hopes up. Been there , done that. My wife has made the same choice's as far as living in a different city 40 miles away. At first i got real upset, but now i realize it is for the better right now. She has a ways to go in her recovery from drugs and manic depression. The distance however has made her heart fonder of me and she misses me a lot Dont be in such a hurry. It will all fall into place in Gods time and our Mates will know it as well as us. It may look like they are altering Gods plans, but they cant. Gods not going to put a marriage back together until both are ready. Im not sure anymore how ready i am, but i suppose that attitude helps me to wait on God and be more patient. For now im fine with spending 2 or 3 days out of thhe week with W and its funny that at this point she is in more love with me than i am her, probably cause im so busy with work and getting ready for school. Im into web design and want to make a carrer of it. <BR>My advice to you is dont let H know your in a hurry. Dont let it seem so urgent to you. I think this draws them to us more. A little subtle rejection goes a long way. I told my W a few weeks ago that i like my life the way it basically is and im in no hurry for family life again. <BR>I also threw in that i dont want anybody else nor ever will besides her and she said the same about me and that really touched my heart. I then told her when God says its time, i will listen. I dont care if its tomorrow, or 5 years down thhe road. She agreed. Thats all i need to be encourged. I have found that it tends to push them away when we become impatient. And the opposite is true when we are patient. <BR>I hope this helps a little. The balance is hard to find, but the Spirit will help you in your weakness's. <BR>Take Care and God Bless<BR>Mark

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lostpup:<BR><B>Dont be in such a hurry. It will all fall into place in Gods time and our Mates will know it as well as us. It may look like they are altering Gods plans, but they cant. Gods not going to put a marriage back together until both are ready. My advice to you is dont let H know your in a hurry. Dont let it seem so urgent to you. I think this draws them to us more. A little subtle rejection goes a long way. <P>I have found that it tends to push them away when we become impatient. And the opposite is true when we are patient. <BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks, Mark<P>As usual, your posts make me think, and give me "balance" when I tend to want to go off the deep end. It IS good to talk to him, and I enjoyed our short time together, but you are right. I need to NOT be in a hurry. I always try to pray before, during and after our talks, so that I don't do or say anything God doesn't want. I feel I've been OK at this so far. Your post made me realize that I need to be willing to stay totally in God's timing and His Will. Not too fast, not too slow, but He's handling this, and changing us both and it will ALL be in HIS TIME!!<P>I think TWO phone calls and two letters in 3+ months is pretty patient! The interesting thing about all this is that I have had NO inclination to discuss "US" or "the situation" etc, and I KNOW that has be bugging him! I mean, it's just NOT LIKE ME to let this type of THING sit idle. But I am trying to follow God's leading in what we should or should not talk about. I basically just listen and don't initiate anything right now. Just Plan A, and let God's love show through me, which is what I have been praying since June, and now I'm getting the opportunity to do it! Praise the Lord!<BR> <BR>Lupo<BR>

Hi Lupo, <P>I just got back from my vacation and I am so tired I can't think straight. I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and will pray for you tonight. <P>I hope your husband finds a job in your city. Can you send him any ideas? <P>Dear Jesus, Lupo has been so patient. Please help her husband desire to return home to his wife. Help him to find a job near his wife's home. I ask this in Your Holy Name, Amen.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tryingtohope:<BR><B>I just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you and will pray for you tonight. </B><BR>Thank you kindly!!! <P><B>I hope your husband finds a job in your city. Can you send him any ideas? </B><BR>I don't know if he'd be open to that....I don't know what is in his head! I can't figure out WHY he had to tell me NOW that he's job searching....he's been happy doing the construction work all summer.......<P>Also, I DID open my mouth to say ....something....(I'm not even sure what I was going to say <I> "DON"T DO IT!! Come home!!!" </I>or <I>"WHY are you looking THERE??? Come home!!" </I>or <I> "Are you EVER going to want to work on US??" </I> but every time I opened my mouth, the Lord SHUT IT!!!!<P>[quote] Dear Jesus, Lupo has been so patient. Please help her husband desire to return home to his wife. Help him to find a job near his wife's home. I ask this in Your Holy Name, Amen.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thank you for the prayers. I'm sure H can use them to figure out the "fog" and/or confusion he's in NOW!! I'll bet it's a lot worse than ever since he left!!! HAhahaha.<P>Lupo<BR>