Hi,<BR>I posted a few weeks ago for prayer for my marriage. I am feeling really low today and I think I am at the point of giving up. H has informed me that he is going to Florida for the weekend and I found out he is taking a girl with him, along with another couple. He is also going to go on a cruise in Oct. and I'm sure this person will be going with him then as well. What is the point of trying anymore? He is obviously moving on with his life while I sit at home and pine away for him. I just feel so alone and like I am constantly getting the short end of the stick. I am sitting here pregnant and caring for our son while he covorts around enjoying his new "single" life. I have lost all hope. I even had a prayer session with his mother and grandmother a couple of weeks ago and we felt like there would be some positive changes very soon. It seems like the exact opposite is happening because I don't know if it could get any worse! Does anyone have any input/advice. We ended our conversation on a pretty bad note. I told him that I do not know if we can remain friends and I am not sure I can continue to talk to him (because it hurts too much)and he told me "well, have a good weekend and call me if you change your mind"<BR>June

Hi June - I feel like you sometimes. Some days I feel really good and then other days I feel really bad. My H and I have been separated a little over a month now and we are going to counseling. He said he is confused and doesn't know if he wants to come back or not. We were suppose to go out tonight for the first time since he left but he just called and said he has to get his car fixed and that we will go out to dinner on Friday. I was looking forward to tonight and now I'm bummed. I hope he's not playing games with me because while he is going out with his friends I sit at home and do nothing. I have no friend's, they all moved away. I have no kids but I do have 2 dogs who have kept me quit together. <P>I'll say a prayer for you. I pray every day that something good happens for my marriage and that my husband want's to come back.

June,<BR>I am so sorry that you are feeling down today!! How long have you been separated? How far along are you? I know that God does work miracles (in His time)! I have seen one lately in my marriage!! Just keep the Faith! I will say a prayer for you and your family! Your H will miss you, and the kids. I know that you are feeling lost, and scared, but know in your heart that we (everyone on this site) is praying for you, and that God is on your side always! <BR>(((((xoxoxox))))))) Hugs to you!<P>Krystal

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by junebug622:<BR><B>I even had a prayer session with his mother and grandmother a couple of weeks ago and we felt like there would be some positive changes very soon. It seems like the exact opposite is happening because I don't know if it could get any worse! Does anyone have any input/advice. We ended our conversation on a pretty bad note</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi, June,<BR>I just wanted to say that it is VERY encouraging when you see Negative movement. Almost as encouraging as POSITIVE movement!! I believe that if YOU believe that God will restore your M and bring your H back, then ANY movement is a good thing!! <P>See, as your H (along with Satan's help) fights against you (and GOD!!), there will be MAJOR struggles, and remember that these are spiritual battles we are fighting. We DO NOT fight against a flesh-and-blood enemy. ALways remember that. Keep up your fight in the spirit, and God will be the victor. Movement in any direction means God is moving, too.<P>I think it was Lostva who once told us that 3 days before her H came home, he was telling her it was NO USE and there was NO WAY he was ever going to change his mind, he was SURE he wanted a d. See, he was being "convicted" - believe it or not - about returning home by a song he kept hearing on the radio!!! He was trying to run away from it! The more he heard it, the more determined he was to get away from her, BUT the more he heard it, the more convicted he became, until he just couldn't fight anymore, and just called her up and said, "I want to come home."<P>So, if it seems "HOPELESS" to you, there's NO TELLING what's going on in H's head, or heart, or where ever God is working....<P>The moral of this story is: Don't you DARE give up!!!! <P>Ela, Maybe he really DID need to get his car fixed, Maybe an emergency problem arose....give him the benefit of the doubt. Remember, "expect nothing" and then you can stay cheerful when you get "something."<P>We have a saying around here: "Don't Give Up 5 Minutes Before The Miracle."<P>As for ME - I don't INTEND to GIVE UP until I see my M restored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bottom Line.<P>Remember, we are praying in about an hour or so now. See Plec's latest post. Remember to lift up all our Bro & Sis.<BR>I like this idea, and we are ALL praying at the SAME HOUR, so we are "two or three gathered together" in a sense. God will honor this. Praise Him for answered prayer!<P>Lupo<BR>

Hi Junebug,<P>I don't think you should give up either. Why give the bad guy an easy victory? I think you're tougher than that. If you can't manage today, then pray for today's grace, okay?<P>Do you remember another thing we say around here? Get out of the boat and walk on water. You can do miracles if you keep your eyes on the Lord. The water that made Peter panic is the circumstances you are experiencing. Looking at that water almost made him drown. Keep your eyes on the Lord and don't let ANY circumstance sway you.<P>We have to actively push the temptation to give up AWAY as hard and as quickly as we can. This is not easy to do because it tends to sneak up on you. But the Lord is merciful and He is so faithful to You that He lets you try again over and over.<P>Please try to imitate Him today and invite your husband in your heart to come back to you and especially to the Lord. Invite your love to return. If you can't love him today, love the Lord and ask the Lord to love him for you, okay?<P>The stakes are high and your husband's eternal life is in your hands now. Don't let go of his hand, EVEN IF he does not have the strength to hold on to yours.<P>You are stronger than you think and this forum will lift you up over the trouble spots.<P>Jesus, please send Your relief to June Bug and to Ela and all of us right now. We don't expect an immediate answer to our prayers because we know that Your timing is perfect. Please send us the strength and the faith we need to restore our marriages in Your Name and to fashion our lives according to Your Will.<BR>Amen.<P>Peace to you, my sweet sister. You will win...

dear June---please don't give up....my heart aches for you...You have one child and another on the way...I pray God will watch over you...you know, when I get really down, I think of Christ Jesus...I can close my eyes and think of him coming to me and just setting down beside me and I know I am not truly alone....I have him to comfort me....a peace comes over me and I am OK.....It's like he knows my need and takes care of it....You know June, God works in "his time" maybe your husband needs a bit more work before he comes home so that he won't wonder again....Let God work a miracle in your relationship.....breath easy my child and let him help you.....you have come this far....keep going.......My prayers are with you always....take care.<P>------------------<BR>always-faith4us

Hi everyone,<BR>Thought I would give an update. Found out his trip to Florida with OW and the other couple wasn't all it was cracked up to be. OW got on everyones nerves the whole time and H has since dumped her. <BR>Bad news is that H is convinced more than ever that he wants the divorce and wants to start proceedings ASAP. We cannot be legally divorced until after the baby is born in Dec. but he wants all the filing/paperwork done now. <BR>I am in a sense of shock. I was not expecting to go through this until the end of the year. I am just trying to hang in there. I have seen a lawyer and H and I are going to an appt. together to see him on Mon. This is hurting so bad. I want my marriage to be restored and I guess I was hoping that he would change his mind once the baby is born but it isn't looking like that is going to happen! Please pray for me. I still have hope but I guess I need to give this situation up to God now. I still pray every day for His will and for the best for my H, myself, and my kids. Thank you for any advice/words of encouragement you can give. Does this seem like a hopeless situation? Also, can you please say a prayer for me about our appt. with the lawyer on Mon. I know this will be a hard day for me. Thank you.<BR>June

I would also like to add that my H is in desperate need of prayer right now. He seems to be going through some depression and is drinking ALOT and even mixing it with drugs (Valum, among other things) This is a man that comes from a strong Christian family and had never taken drugs before and has cut off almost all ties with his family. (Out of guilt/shame) He is trying to live a fast life, numbing his pain with alcohol, drugs, and other harmful things. I just hope that this is his "rock bottom" experience that will make him realize all he has walked away from and stands to lose. Thank you for your prayers!!<BR>June<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>He seems to be going through some depression. He is trying to live a fast life, numbing his pain with alcohol, drugs, and other harmful things. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>OK, June. Well, we saw God work w/OW and getting her OUT of his life! I believe the depression is from that "break-up" - just hang in there......<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> H is convinced more than ever that he wants the divorce and wants to start proceedings ASAP <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I still believe this is just "backlash" from the evil one, because your H is fence-sitting now, and negative movement seems like the only way. Now is the time to reassure him that you still love him, and he's hasn't "burned his bridges." I believe they MUST know that home is a safe place to return BEFORE the end of A, because when they finally come out of the fog, they feel SOOOO terrible for what they have put everyone through, they are sure there is NO WAY to repair the damage they have done.<P>Remember, the holidays are coming up soon (yes, sooner than we want to think!) and that will also be a time to think about what is missing in WS's lives. Be sure to invite him/include him in all plans. Whether or not he wants to come is his choice, but he must feel that the door is always open to come home. THAT is what will bring him around......knowing that the door is still open, and you are/have forgiven. The rest is up to God. Keep praying. <P>Lupo<BR>

Thanks for the encouragement Lupo! I don't think H's depression is because of the OW. This was not a "relationship" per say, just a body that he could take on the trip with him. He was more than happy to get rid of her (even discussed this with me). The alcohol and drugs have been a problem ever since he walked away. He has seemed to slip into this lifestyle to help him forget about his problems and what he is walking away from. He found out that his family is pretty much siding with me and that some of his friends are not who they seem and he tells me that he has "nobody" right now. He also found out from the lawyer that I am entitled to half of our company should we divorce and he does not want that!! (He was hoping I will just take our house, the car and a monthly child support check while he gets to keep the lucrative business that allows him a jet-set lifestyle. (yeah right!) so, needless to say, H's big plans for his new single life may not be turning out as he had hoped (this may be a good thing! )<BR>Any thoughts?<BR>June

I have no advice to give, just want to say you are all in my prayers. <P>God bless<P>SaU

Hi June, if your H is a prodigal running from the Lord and you with drugs and alcohol, he will hit bottom a lot sooner than usual. It will be rock hard also. He cant handle the conviction when sober. The holy spirit gets to him. The drugs and alcohol only make the conviction skyrocket, and what goes up will come down. Just put him in Gods hands andd the Lord will take care of it and work it all out. The Lord wants you to trust Him to bring your husband back from the pigpen. Just keep praying for him, he needs it.<BR>Mark

Thank you lostpup and SaU,<BR>I have decided that this is a journey that H is on and I need to let God handle it. I continue to pray every day for him to "come to himself" and realize all that he has walked away from and stands to lose. It usually takes someone to hit "rock bottom" for this to happen but it it so hard when you love someone and do not want them to hurt. I really appreciate your support and prayers. This is truly the hardest thing I have ever gone through.<BR>Thanks again,<BR>June

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by junebug622:<BR><B>Thanks for the encouragement Lupo! I don't think H's depression is because of the OW. This was not a "relationship" per say, just a body that he could take on the trip with him. He was more than happy to get rid of her (even discussed this with me). The alcohol and drugs have been a problem ever since he walked away. He has seemed to slip into this lifestyle to help him forget about his problems and what he is walking away from. He found out that his family is pretty much siding with me and that some of his friends are not who they seem and he tells me that he has "nobody" right now. He also found out from the lawyer that I am entitled to half of our company should we divorce and he does not want that!! (He was hoping I will just take our house, the car and a monthly child support check while he gets to keep the lucrative business that allows him a jet-set lifestyle. (yeah right!) so, needless to say, H's big plans for his new single life may not be turning out as he had hoped (this may be a good thing! )<BR>Any thoughts?<BR>June</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Junebug,<BR>I couldn't help notice what it was that caused your husband to stop and think twice about the fact if he divorces you or you him that he'd have to give you half of the business.<BR>My husband was bugged by the fact I'd get half of his retirement benefits. Just reflecting back on our situation I guess. We are in the process of restoring a 27 year marriage so don't give up. H's plan was to hang in there with the OW for 3 years until my last son graduated High School. Then he thought we'd all be on our own and he'd be free of responsibility towards us. He also got very buligerant when the OW decided to break things off. He was even onryer to me than ever for awhile. It was his way of fighting back to get what he wanted. But do like Lupo said, keep that door open for him. It's kind of like, you making a way for him to escape temptation, like the way the Lord does for us. He gives us another alternative. Give him another alternative and when the times right, he'll be back.<BR>You wouldn't believe the change the Lord has made in my husband since he decided to stay. Hang in there no matter how long it takes. It'll be worth it.<BR>ONTHEMEND<BR>

Hello everyone,<BR>I just wanted to share what I think and hope is positive news!! My H called today and said that he actually went to church this morning!! (This is a biggie because he has avoided church since he left me in May) He also mentioned to me that he was going to quit drinking for a while as he is getting "tired" (Not sure whether to get excited about that one yet because he has said that before and not done it) We actually had a good conversation for about 30 minutes with no arguing and he asked me how I/baby was doing as well as our son. (He hasn't seen our son in 3 weeks) He was going to come over this evening to visit our son but I told him I had dinner plans with a friend so he said he would come over tomorrow. Just wanted to share that...I don't want to get too excited just yet but I am hoping that if he starts going back to church regularly that maybe he will change his mind about the divorce and want to try and work on our marriage/family. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me and please don't stop now!!! <BR>June

KEEP THE FAITH. AMAZING THINGS CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT THEM. THE DAY MY DIVORCE WAS FINAL, MY HUSBAND CALLED CRYING AND ASKED ME NOT TO GO THROUGH WITH IT. WELL, I HONESTLY THOUGHT HE WAS FREAKING OUT DUE TO THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE FINAL AND HE HAD SAID SO MUCH BS REGARDING HIS AFFAIR IN THE PAST YEAR THAT I WASN'T SURE WHAT TO THINK. SO I WENT THROUGH WITH IT ANYWAYS. WE ENDED UP TALKING LATER THAT NIGHT (FIRST REAL CONVERSATION FACE TO FACE IN MONTHS). HE MOVED OUT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND'S THE NEXT MORNING. MOVED IN WITH HIS MOM AND NOW WE ARE TRYING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO RECONNECT. IT HAS ONLY BEEN A MONTH, BUT WE ARE TRYING. RIGHT WHEN YOU THINK THAT IT IS OVER, MOVING FORWARD AND STARTING A NEW LIFE, DATING, ETC.-WHAM THE ROLLER COASTER STARTS AGAIN. WE BOTH TOOK EACH FOR GRANTED IN THE PAST 2-3 YEARS, KIDS, LIFE GETS IN THE WAY. THEN HIS AFFAIR, THAT CAME OUT OF LEFT FIELD, HE IS NOT EVEN A FLIRT. THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION, BUT I CAN SEE HOW IT COULD HAPPEN TO US. WE LOST OUR FRIENDSHIP AND HE WAS TEMPTED AND FELL FOR IT. WE TOOK OVER EYES OFF GOD-BIG MISTAKE. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT IT IS THE LORD THAT HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH THE PAST YEAR AND THE ONLY REASON THAT I CAN EVEN LOOK AT HIM WITH THE CAPACITY TO FORGIVE. I KNEW IT THE MINUTE HE WALKED IN THE DOOR, WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, THAT WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. NOW I HAVE TO GIVE MY FEARS TO GOD AND PUT FAITH IN BOTH THE LORD AND MY H. TIME HEALS, JUST BE PATIENT, I AM TRYING REALLY HARD. IT'S HARD TO LET GO - BUT YOU HAVE TO. YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS, PLEASE PUT ME IN YOURS. GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU - HAVE FAITH IN HIM!