Christians out there in Marriage Builder land what do you think about church discipline according to Matthew 18:15-17? I have been talking to my pastor about church discipline for my wife and becuase her reason for wanting a divorce is "irreconcilible differences" and that is not a scriptual reason. We are still living in the same home with our 15 and nearly 13 year old children and if she were to be furthr alienated because of church discipline she could make things very unpleasant for me. Things are already very unpleasant for me, she could make things even worse though.<BR>If it is right however it is right. There is no arguing with God's Word.<BR>Any suggestions???<P>Joe

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe the librarian:<BR><B>Christians out there in Marriage Builder land what do you think about church discipline according to Matthew 18:15-17? There is no arguing with God's Word.<BR>Any suggestions???<P>Joe</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Radical approach, Joe. The only problem I see with it is that your W is NOT a "brother" (as is quoted in scripture). She is your W. She is your Helpmeet, your "other half," and you are Oneflesh. Almost like if you bring her sins to light, you are almost condemning yourself as well, since this is a UNION, and one brought together by God Himself.<P>My .02 FWIW.<BR>Lupo<P>

<BR> Who do you know that does not need Church Discipline. Why do you want her to have the Discipline? Is it to help her see how to change; oris it just to make you look right. Sorry but I saw this done once and it did nothing to help the marriage. Gods love is key to help you and her.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe the librarian:<P><B>Christians out there in Marriage Builder land what do you think about church discipline according to Matthew 18:15-17? I have been talking to my pastor about church discipline for my wife and becuase her reason for wanting a divorce is "irreconcilible differences" and that is not a scriptual reason. We are still living in the same home with our 15 and nearly 13 year old children and if she were to be furthr alienated because of church discipline she could make things very unpleasant for me. Things are already very unpleasant for me, she could make things even worse though.<BR>If it is right however it is right. There is no arguing with God's Word.<BR>Any suggestions???<P>Joe</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Yesitcan!:<BR><B> <BR> Who do you know that does not need Church Discipline. Why do you want her to have the Discipline? Is it to help her see how to change; oris it just to make you look right. Sorry but I saw this done once and it did nothing to help the marriage. Gods love is key to help you and her.<P> </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Dear Yet<BR>The ONLY reason for church discipline is to reconcile the believer to God. It is wrong scriptually to divorce, right? Then if a believer intentionally wants to do wrong and sin by <BR>1. Bringing another believer to court<BR>2. Divorce for an unscriptual reason, irreconcilible <BR>differences<BR>3. Abandon her husband sexually<BR>My wife 7 months ago would NEVER admit to wanting to do wrong scriptually, what happened? I have seen church discipline exercised a number of times in my like but it rarely brought the believer back to God, but if it is in the Bible, and it is (Matt.18:15-17).<BR>The purpose is to restore not punish. I want my wife know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what she is doing is absolutely wrong, and a SIN. Divorce breaks my heart (that is pretty bad), destroys families (I wish you could see the changes taking place in my daughter), is not what God wants for anyone.<BR>Discipline is like my last ditch effort for her to see the error of her ways and if she then chooses to do wrong as it says in Matthew 18, she "is to be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican".<BR>I love my wife and family please pray that she will see the error of her way.<P>Joe<BR>

Joe,<P>This church discipline sounds like a bad idea to me. Like Lupolady said, your wife is not your brother, and this discipline would only further the quarrel and continue the strife between you. Abandon the quarrel. This is the ultimate test of trust and faith in God to restore not only your marriage, but also to cleanse and purify yourself in God's eyes. I am sure church discipline seems like a logical step and a last ditch effort. But your wife is way beyond last ditch efforts and second chances. Having her sins brought before others, having scripture and words from a pastor brought to her will make her bitter, angry, and resentful. "An arrogant man stirs up strife, but he who trusts the Lord will prosper. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. (Prov. 28:25-26)" I am sure you are not arrogant, but how would your wife feel about you after being disciplined.<P>At this point, only God can restore your marriage. Ask God for guidance through your trials. Call on HIM for strength. Draw close to HIM in your time of need. Allow HIM to discipline you, try you, and test you. Rejoice always in ALL THINGS, not just the good things, but also in the troubles that come your way. Keep your hope close to your lips and stay steadfast in your mind. Always remember that it is is HIS WILL that you face these hard times and that they are for your good! My prayers are truly with you.<P>Chris

Joe, I agree with Lupo, you have to take it in context. She is not a brother. <BR>Ephesians 5:25 husbands , love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.<BR>If you take a hard look at the church whom Christ gave Himself up for, what makes our wayward mates any different. Absolutly nothing. We all fall short of the glory of God. I have treated God far worse than my W ever treated me, and i did it most of my life. Still the Lord loves me and never gave up on me and reached me personally, and it wasnt any fun at all and God did it more than once, far more. We need to put it in perspective. Its what helped me the most thru it all, to see myself and my own relationship with God. Ive been a selfish rotten child of His for many years. <BR>My marital problems brought me to the ground and i finally had to turn to God with all of my heart. My W , must be the right one for me cause they say your mate should bring you closer to God... Mine sure has. she threw me into His arms.<BR>Mark

<BR> Lib, Your motive for the Church Discipline are good and pure, but I still think it is a bad idea. The Church disci pline I saw was in front of the whole Church and all it did was add to Gosip and bad thoghts shared by Church members. I did not see any good result from it. Yes your wife needs to know it is wrong. Have you told her that you want her for all time and you are willing to support her as she looks for <BR> what is wrong. Ask her to go to therapy with you, even if you are seperated show her you are ready when ever she is ready. Encourage her to go to individule therapy as well as <BR>joint. You go to individule therapy and search for what is best for you. I hurt for you I know how despret you must feel, turn it over to God and do only what she will let you do. If; all she will let you do is let her go; then let her go with the knowledge that you are ready to work on the marriage when she is ready. Show her you love her even if she goes away. Sorry, Yesitcan!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe the librarian:<BR><B> <P>

Joe, please show more respect for your wife than to publically bring your marriage problems before the church. With your pastor in private is the only place to discuss problems of such a delicate nature. <BR>IMHO<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe the librarian:<BR><B>Christians out there in Marriage Builder land what do you think about church discipline according to Matthew 18:15-17? I have been talking to my pastor about church discipline for my wife and becuase her reason for wanting a divorce is "irreconcilible differences" and that is not a scriptual reason. We are still living in the same home with our 15 and nearly 13 year old children and if she were to be furthr alienated because of church discipline she could make things very unpleasant for me. Things are already very unpleasant for me, she could make things even worse though.<BR>If it is right however it is right. There is no arguing with God's Word.<BR>Any suggestions???<P>Joe</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><p>[This message has been edited by benjimom (edited September 06, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by benjimom:<BR><B>Joe, please show more respect for your wife than to publically bring your marriage problems before the church. With your pastor in private is the only place to discuss problems of such a delicate nature. <BR>IMHO<P>The question you MUST consider is: is is scriptual or not?<P>Joe<BR> <P>[This message has been edited by benjimom (edited September 06, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>