Hi Everyone,<P>Last week was my wife's birthday. Even though I didn't get a single present on my birthday, I prayed that God would lift me up and remove any resentment that I had. Which he did!! ;c) So when it came to my wife's birthday last week I was able to plan something special without majorly LB-ing.<P>To cut a long story short, she loved her day out and told me it was the best birthday present she had ever had! I was just really happy to see her happy and carefree again. <P>I think the thing i'm learning is that I can't treat people badly, just because I resent what they have or haven't done. I know God wants me to treat even my enemies with love, and if there is something that does upset me I need to discuss it rather than get 'grumpy'. Getting grumpy just creates a vicious circle!<P>During the day we had some food, and my wife mentioned it was like something we had at our wedding. It was wierd hearing her remember something like that, when she hadn't mentioned anything from our 'happy days' for so long.<P>She also said she's really not sure about moving in with the OM and his 4 buddies. So she asked me if she would be allowed to stay with me after she moved out. I told her she was always welcome with me, and that she is the most important person in my life. She said she doesn't deserve it when I don't get the same in return from her. I told her it doesn't work like that, I'll always show her love.<P>She also said she felt guilty for the situation. I'm not sure if that was guilty for not spending as much time with me, or guilty for being happy we me that day and not the OM? It's wierd she's warm and caring when were together, but when I speak to her when she's with the OM she's a different person.<P>This is turning into a bit of a ramble, but I think there are a few things I wanted to say:<P>- Don't let me fog spread in front of your own eyes. One minute the WS says they want to do x with you, the next minute they say they want to x with the OP instead! God is the lighthouse in our lives, even when we seem to be surrounded by the WS fog.<P>- Ask God for peace when the WS hurts you, and ask for forgiveness for your own resentment and forgiveness for the WS for the way they treated you. God CAN take away ALL that pain.<P>- Ask God to fill you with happiness and the joy of the Holy Spirit - especially when there things the WS does that make you want to cry, shout, curl up and die!! It's funny how a WS enjoys visiting and doesn't want to leave when you are warm, loving and understanding!<P>- Pray for patience. God works at his own pace and a quick fix doesn't lead to a lasting solution.<P>It's funny. I often find that I post when I feel realy down and need your prayers here. It's not until I sit down and write things down that I realise the changes God is making in me for the better. I'm so keen to forget the triumphs of yesterday and focus on the problems of today!<P>I kind of want my wife to say something to me like "how can you be kind and love me after all i've done"? So I'll then be able to share with her the fact that I'm overflowing with love from God, and that it's everlasting ... what she is getting is love from God ... indirectly. I just haven't had the chance yet!<P>Apologies again for not doing the prayer list last week. I kind of got wrapped up in the whole plane crash thing last week. It was just one of those things that you couldn't believe was happening. It's strange how many people in my office were talking like WW3 was about to kick off. A lot of people were scared of the repucussions of this attack.<P>I WILL do the prayer list tonight, once it's done just tag your requests onto the thread.<P>I would like to ask for your prayers in my own situation:<P>- Pray for the restoration of my wife's faith, so she can find true peace in God's love.<P>- Pray for my wife's health. I know she is sick, she is avoiding the problem and not dealing with it.<P>- Pray for the restoration of my marriage and that my marriage is founded in a strong relationship with God and his word.<P>Sorry for the long post.<P>Plec.

Plec,<P>I love the fact that you have been able to get together with your wife and talk about things. God really does want the two of you to be together. Keep the faith and Christ will provide the strength and peace you need to endure the fiery trial you are in.<P>I need prayers for these same opportunities that Plec is provided. The last time I talked with my wife (almost four weeks ago) I was confronted by both her and the OM. What turned into simply giving her the last of her possessions transformed into the both of them treating me like I should "move on". To them I was the enemy. Throughout the separation and her decision to divorce me, there has been a cycle of me accusing her of her other relationship to backing off and pretty much avoiding the issue (even though I knew the truth). She continously made me feel guilty for accusing her of cheating on me. In her mind, she made a transition of being able to lie to me about it, to being able to hide it, to thinking I didn't care about it. It is amazing to me how she avoided the issue altogther and forgets my trying to understand the severity of all that is going on.<P>I have faced my sins (and continue to forsake them) and know that I will never be able to avoid them, except through obedience. I have learned that my life has been bought with price of Jesus Christ's blood. I need to strive to fit into God's plans and to put Christ first in my life. True salvation is there for my taking. It is the only free gift out there.<P>What I fear most besides the Lord's wrath is my wife's eventual path to destruction. She says she is finally happy. She only feels discontent when she has to deal with me. What I see on pretty much a bi-weekly basis is other people (her peers, co-workers, mutual friends, her students, etc.) slowly coming to realize the entirety of the situation (regardless of the OM). I see the walls surrounding her new-found happiness getting higher. This pains me greatly, especially since I do not initiate anything. Please pray for her salvation and for her awakening to the world around her.<P>I try my hardest not to bring her sin to light for fear of condemning myself in the process. However, others are bringing them before me. To be honest with everyone, I am finding it harder to stand and hope that the Lord plans on restoring my marriage. I pray that He has mercy on me and leads me into the paths He wants to. I have truly let go of my marriage to let him deal with it as he wishes. I cannot argue with that. <P>Thank you and God bless.<BR>May our great republican nations stand and fight together against not only the evils of terrorism, but more importantly the deception of Satan.<P>

You guys' faith amazes me. I stand in agreement with you for wisdom and strength to forgive and keep forgiving and not to be judgmental. What a blessing.<P>It's a blessing to know that we can hide ourselves in Christ and see others through His eyes regardless of their actions and/or misdeeds toward us. God is working on all of us and there is something we can learn in every trial.<P>I pray that God would strengthen your faith to be able to endure these circumstances and keep it real--meaning face reality of what we can and cannot control and discernment to recognize the truth from a lie. Hugs to you!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cbrixius:<BR><B>To be honest with everyone, I am finding it harder to stand and hope that the Lord plans on restoring my marriage. I pray that He has mercy on me and leads me into the paths He wants to</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>cb,<BR> It is during the times that we feel everything looks the most hopeless that God can work! If it was easy to perform miracles, then everyone would be doing them! What God wants to accomplish: salvation, restoration (of love and marriage), cannot be accomplished on one's own. With everyone watching and seeing your W's hardening heart, God is preparing for them to see a "parting of the seas" in a sense. Praise Him when things seem to get worse. This is how He works best! Not during good times, for even the sinner can Praise God during good times.....it takes a lot of FAITH to "hope for things to come...believe in things not seen..." <P>God Bless,<BR>Lupo<BR>

Hi cbrixius,<P>I read the following link recently and found it a real help. I realised that were specific things God wanted me to forgive people for. I harboured resentment towards my W and the OM. It was (and still is) a great release to ask not only for forgiveness for them, but to ask for forgiveness for my resentment and anger too.<P>Here is the link, it's really worth printing and reading:<BR> <A HREF="http://members.aol.com/ecsl/answeredprayer.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://members.aol.com/ecsl/answeredprayer.htm</A> <P>The extract below specifically speaks about your particular situation right now. From the sounds of things your spirit is crused, but as as lupolady says God is ready to act when things seem at their worst:<P>"They cry for help and God hears and rescues them from all their troubles; God is near to the broken-hearted, he helps those whose spirit is crushed." (Psalm 34:17-18). When faith is accompanied by humility, it is turbocharged, because a crushed spirit always brings God close.<P>I really think the forgiveness thing is important. We (I) need to look at the things in our life where we harbour resentment and anger bitterness / anger towards people. You can see from the quote below that forgiveness for those who have hurt us is really tightly knitted to us asking for things in prayer:<P>"I tell you therefore: everything you ask and pray for, believe that you have it already, and it will be yours. And when you stand in prayer, forgive whatever you have against anybody, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your failings too." (Mark 11:20-25).<P>I learnt a lot from the web page I mentioned above, I realised there were a lot of things where I harboured bad feeling towards people who had been bad to me. I realised that I often resent people who hurt me in whatever way, and this affects the way I treat them in future. This end the end creates a vicious circle, as I treat them in response to the way that treat me.<P>I realised I resented my wife in the past when we were together. I can't think of examples right now, but rather than dealing with the issue and discussing it with her I kept my mouth shut, harboured resentment and was grumpy.<P>Have a look at my next post ... I actually had the chance to admit my failings to my wife, and explain how I only recently learnt to deal with these failings in myself by laying them down to God.<P>BINthereDUNthat thanks for yor prayer, this is the biggest gift one Christian can give to another, and the most powerful.<P>cbrixius, I know this sounds tough but ask the Lord to pour his love on you and forgive you for the bad feeling you have for whoever is involved. God can and will fill you with so much of his love that it pours out of your ears!! When your W feels Gods love indirectly through you it will be great! The OM has no chance in competing, he only has a finite amount of love. God has an infinite amount of love that never dries up!<P>If you take God's Love bank as infinite, when you make a withdrawl you always have an infinite amount of love left.<P>infinity - "any number" = infinity<P>Whereas the OM only has a finite amount.<P>My prayers are with you.<P>Plec.