Hi - Gosh what a wonderful place - a prayer request forum on Marriage Builders (what a great site!- have been trying Plan A - and learning alot from this site) My H and I are separated - we are already a reconciled marriage - divorced and remarried (both faithful in between) - we are childhood sweethearts - have 2 grown daughters - I asked him to leave (didn't know plan A or MUCH) a few years ago - he was totally doing his own thing - no infidelity (then) but was impossible to live with. We had a great little church - but left it (my doing, ...didn't see any change in him "MY MISTAKE" - but here we are - have still been seeing each other through-out this - but 2 months ago an OW entered the picture - he'd always been faithful - and I do believe that - actually couldn't "perform" last time he tried (which was probably 15 years ago - when we were divorced - but he did "succeed" this time twice with this OW but hasn't been able to "perform" since - and of course I RAN for help - found this site (amongst others) - so I"ve big time plan A'd and he CAME BACK - said he knows he'll never love any one like he does me - I am his foundation (I realize God needs to be) but I know what he meant - said he doesn't "love" her - but didn't want to "drop" her fast and hurt her - she'd been hurt bad by her ex. So I "understood" - he didn't want to make another mess - although he's not "claiming" any part of "this mess" - says it's all my fault - I didn't support him (which I guess I could have done a better job - told him that - and have been trying VERY HARD since) anyway - this was just this week - also he has relapsed back into alcohol and "pills" (last 2 months) - slipping fast - said he would go to rehab soon - been 6 years since last bout. After being here for just a few days this week - he said I love you but I don't want to let her down fast - and that he would like to golf with her once in a while (???) - tried to be understanding but my voice showed "reservation" - He picked up on it and said "there's that attitude again" - (????) - then he started screaming at me over phone (was a bit buzzed - I could tell) telling me "You think cuz it's just been a few weeks (of plan a'ing - he doesn't know about "plan A" - just that i've been a different person) - that I'm supposed to believe things will be different from now on?" - was verry belligerent - I think he was trying to pick a darn fight cuz he wanted to go see her with a clear conscience (?) - I could deal with the "seeing her" part and "letting her down lightly" but the disrespect in his voice and attitude was soooo wrong - I said I will talk to you later Honey and cut him off and hung up. Didn't see him that night (last night) - now today he called and said "why don't my girls (daughters) call me - I said I don't know (actually I think they are uncomfortable with this "girlfriend" thing - and I don't think they want to "hear/know" about it (they don't know about this past "reconciliation" week) - anyway - he told me "you trained them well" - and placed blame all on me again. I just said I don't want to fight with you (he was buzzed again) - I did say "did you call them when the terrorist thing happened" (he was away with "her") (I felt bad for them when he did't contact them when the whole darn country was "scared" those first days - but didn't say anything to them or him - him, till now) - but he said they didn't call me on my birthday (one did and left a message - he didn't call her back) - the other older one I think is mad about the girlfriend thing and doesn't know how to handle things so she didn't) - then after he said that he hung up. Again - it's almost like he's making reasons to justify his doing drugs and then seeing this other woman. He is a born again christian - knows God's truth - but is "possessed" or something right now - he doesn't talk to God - listens to crazy music - has a hectic job with a "boss" who rides him alot - he does work very hard - but he is sinking sinking - with this "drugs" thing. Last time (last bout 6 years ago) he sunk nearly to the bottom - very bad situation - but I helped him (by the grace of God) - but now he is going going again. He has a good paying job and a business on the side grinding tools for his boss - he cherishes his business - and knows he stands to lose everything if he can't get his act together - I have "Praying Wife" and have prayed DILIGENTLY for him and this marriage - and myself - thought we were making progress - not sure what to do. Please pray for us !! Our marriage and our family. God Bless you - thank you for reading this lengthy saga - ....trying to STAND for our marriage - no more divorce legacy in this family - or COUNTRY!!!! HELP!!!!

Hi pressing on,<P>Just wanted to say hello and to let you know you are in our prayers right now. I haven't got much experience on life as I'm still a young-ish 25!<P>However, I do know a bit about drugs! It's kind of a culture over here in the UK when youre at college / university. In my experience, people take drugs for a reason ... usually they are trying to escape from something. Be it the pain of a relationship breakdown, or the reality of a uninspiring life. The reality is they are just running away from something, and at one point you have to stop, turn around, and confront what you are running away from. Sometimes that doesn't come through choice ... it just happens.<P>God can heal your husband, and can take away the addiction, and he can heal and rebuild your marriage. You just need to trust in him. Maybe there are things God wants changed in you right now. Focus on God and how he can work with you ... the rest will come with time.<P>One last bit of advice. I don't know what your husband is taking, but you say he's taking pills. Typical club pills / chemicals usually give you an extreme high ... the downside of that is when you come back down to reality you can become very low. And funnily enough your temper can get quite short too! It wouldn't suprise me if your husbands angry outbursts are related to the downside of his experience! If he's taking stuf on fri / sat, then in my experience he could be coming down mon / tues possibly weds. If you can avoid him on the down days then it might help.<P>Remeber, this is only my opinion ... I could be wrong!<P>My prayers are with you.<P>Plec.

You are in my prayers. God can do anything if we give it to him. Depend on him and he will restore your marriage better than you ever thought possible.<BR>Visit: <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <A HREF="http://www.rejoiceministries.net" TARGET=_blank>www.rejoiceministries.net</A> <P>Barb<BR>morriggs@yahoo.com