Dear Friends,<p>If you've read my other post, you know that Halloween went great for my son, but awful for me. It is ripping me apart on the inside. Yesterday morning, H called and got me so upset. It is if he never really knows about how his family is hurting, how I am hurting, or what his son is enduring. Probably did the totally wrong thing and sent him an email just telling him about that. Probably LB a ton. Tried my best, although hurt and angry, to let him know how much I still love him. Went to counselor yesterday one hour after and it helped, but was very upset during session. Last night, went to bible study for separated and sat in last row and my tears just kept flowing down. <p>I know God is here for me, but I feel so very down and lost right now. Earlier last month, I had asked H to go to a marriage conference w/me and got his reply on Halloween-no. Now, this weekend, he is going to get our son and I get the wonderful opportunity (not at all) to be totally alone in this new house, and feel the pain of knowing that we're not getting this great opportunity to at all try to work things together. Not even one chance has occurred. That is why, I need your prayers so much now. I do not let people in on what is going on, b/c I am in a new city, meeting new people, and want our M to have a fresh start, where we can have friends, couple friends, and church friends like we used to have. I don't want to embarass him in any way at all. I feel so lonely here. I live in Beaver Cleaver-land where every home is occupied by two parents and their 2.5 kids w /2 SUV's (not knocking them--I drive one too). As I'm typing this, I look out the window to the sidewalks and see this couple out walking together. Why is it that every couple I've known was able to work together thru tough times and could and would attempt at least a little bit to work toward restoring marriage and famly? I am so hurt and feel worthless-like I'm not even worth his effort. Just something so broken, it would be better off if it's just thrown away. <p>This is so hard for me b/c I know personally of so many couples who have experienced truly hard times. There is not a M created that has not experienced rough times and I feel totally abandoned here. Is it enough that OW has gotten all love, understanding, attention, and compassion? It rips at my soul when I know that there has not been motivation by my H to want to even give our M one try so far. He only went to a counselor, by himself, a very long time ago (last Feb or March). One time and never with me. I love him so very much and love our precious son so very much too. They are the whole world to me. Not only is my family apart, but I'm away, at least a good 6 hours away from my other family members and friends. I feel so lost. <p>Please if you could, find it in your heart to pray for a little family. And for a woman who's giving it her all each day, and is just getting shot down despite all good efforts so far. Trying to just keep up the good fight and not give in to despair is a daily struggle with me. To keep the tiny flame of hope alive right now for me is critical. Been living and trying to do like the Plan A, but not calling it a plan. Just attempting to show him my heart and soul, even if it is from a distance. Please pray for us, that somehow this one chance come soon. I'm running so low on hope, I guess you could say I'm running on fumes now.<p>Am signing off to have morning devotion and pray so very hard. It is hard to keep showing your love and getting nothing in return. Pray for me as I am alone here this weekend. Pray that God comforts me and lets me feel his presence in a very real kind of way. I am, and continue to pray for everyone here. You are not alone, although today it seems indeed that way for me. In bible study last night, we studied in Paul's letters, that we suffer so that we may be able to open up our hearts and in turn, show our love to others. I do and continue to pray for you. May God bless you and keep you surrounded by His loving arms as you so bravely face each day and continue fighting to keep your M and your families together. You not only have my prayers, but my total respect also. <p>"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground; and after having done everything to stand."

Faith,<p> I completely understand the weekends alone. I can't stand them. The weird thing about my situation is I am still in the same house with my husband and we were divorced in February. It is hard and we alternate the weekends with kids, yes even though we are in the same home. But he feels they need to get use to it, because we won't live together like this all the time. We are still friends and I think that makes it just as hard. But the Lord wants me to continue to stand, so stand is what I will do.
I will be praying for you here in Tennessee.
Barb

Not peachy in GA-<p>I know you are going through tough times, and I want you to know that I have been there. I also want you to know that it wasn't until I let go, truly let go, that I have seen miracles happen! I have given this all up to God. He is the only one who can change the situation, not you. Your prayers help greatly, too! <p>Continue to Praise God for the miracles that are going to happen in your marriage, and your life. I took the focus off of me, and my problems, and started focusing on Him, and what He wanted me to do. Forgive my H, love my H, minister to others on how important marriage is, etc. I am truly a different person, and praise God daily for my life now---<p>Things will change, but you have to give it ALL up to Him---let Him deal with it---all you can do is pray, and do exactly as God asks you---be faithful to Him. <p>I am sorry for your pain, and pray for your marriage, and family!<p>Hugs to you!<p>Krystal

Dear Morriggs and Faith,<p>Hit the bottom today. Cannot stop crying and shaking. I filed for D on Sept. 11th at amazingly 10:00 am. I stayed in bed for 3 days. Got email from H saying he wanted nothing more and that it was over. He is still seeing OW and is in denial, saying that is not our problem. He's been seeing her for a year now. You tell me. Son gone again after receiving this horrible email. Even discussed giving me settlement options. I am so fearful that Satan has won again and another family has gone down. I am barely holding on. Been praying when I found the strength and being mommy. Trying to just walk away from child when not helping or playing with him so he wouldn't see mommy this way. I need your prayers, advice now. I'm down for the count again. Please pray here. Thank you for so much and for your insight into your lives. Today, and tomorrow, I don't think I can do it anymore. I feel like it all is gone. I am so broken. Please pray for our little famiy. <p>Thank you and God bless you....

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Not peachy in GA:
<strong>I am so fearful that Satan has won again and another family has gone down. I am barely holding on. <p>I am so broken. Please pray for our little famiy. <p>Thank you and God bless you....</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Not Peachy,
I'm so sorry for all the pain you are feeling. It's so obvious in your post. However, the above statements that you wrote gave me great insight into what you need to do now. <p>First of all, STOP being "fearful that Satan has won..." - IF YOU GIVE HIM THE POWER, HE WILL WIN. You must take your eyes OFF Satan, OFF your situation, and put them on God. He ALONE can change this. Doesn't matter what your WH says, or does, or what is going on all around you.<p>Imagine being thrown into a fiery furnace? Can you imagine that those 3 young men felt the heat, the fire? They weren't afraid. They KNEW God would be there....you need that kind of strength, that kind of faith right now. Just DON"T look around at the circumstances. Just know God WON"T let you get "burned" or hurt. Start praising Him for His faithfulness, His Love to you! It will help you.<p>THEN: "...having done all to stand, stand..." and trust God for the rest of it.<p>You KNOW that we here, on Prayer Requests forum, are praying for you. You can be comforted by that.......GOd is faithful. Trust Him. Let Him lead and guide you now.<p>Heavenly Father,
Show "Not Peachy" your Love and Your Faithfulness. Lord God, give her an unending peace in Your ability to change "the king's heart whichever way You will...." We thank You, Father, we bless You and Praise You for your love to us, your faithfulness and your free gift of Everlasting Love.
Bless this dear sister, Father, and give her direction for her "Stand" against the attacks of the enemy. We rebuke the works of Satan, and Lord Jesus? We ask you to send him far from Not Peachy, and especially her H. We will praise you and thank you for your Good Work in their lives.
Amen<p>Lupolady

Not Peachy in GA- Im am praying for you and your family. The Lord will give you strength to fight the devil.

Dear Lupo,<p>Thanks for your truth. I will not let Satan win. Am unsure of what to do now. He is telling me he wants a D and for me to move as quickly as possible. I do not, of course, and he moved just as soon as 3 weeks ago to a possible reconciliation. I have now changed my password to get online so he can't read my emails now. I am so hurt and worried. He is a control nut. Doesn't want me, but doesn't want me to go on with my life and do what I need to do to get him out of it. I feel like a plan B is coming on, if only for me to survive. He doesn't see his son that much anyway. Let me know of good advice. I am scared kinda of him. He makes demands in email saying that these are the terms, (money and alimony, actually combining alimony and child support?) give them to your attorney and that is all there is too it. He is a powerful businessman and I'm a homemaker to our son. Before all that, I was active and doing alright, not rich but was happy to be making it on my own, in the medical field w/good degree. He has ability to make several tens of thousands of dollars a day and his giving us 50K a year would be a drop in the bucket. Drives a 100K car and rationalizes all the way. Said OW was even on her way (would have to fly) to help him. Heck, she's the main part of our problems. <p>I am turning to God. For Him to stand by me as my husband for now. I will not give Satan what he wants. Am standing, but barely. Still crying and shaking. The medicine is doing a little, but not terribly that much. I feel so weak now from crying all day. With what strength is left in me, I will pray on my knees to our precious Lord for his healing hand, the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for your prayers and words of love--the only ones I have heard today. You are an earthbound angel. I am facing the day of evil and am going to have enough faith here to stand my ground. But is the part about, after having done EVERYTHING part that scares me. Feel like nothing's left. That I've tried all. Should I just let go of all around me? I've given my M over to God. Does that mean to ignore all of it? To let it go? What if he keeps up w/legal threats (ie taking away and freezing accounts, etc.) For me, this has never even been about money, but am so frightened that he will do whatever he can to control me in every way. Although I have only lived here a short while, he coaxed me to move here so that probably he could have a convenient arrangement w/his son. We built our dream house, I designed and picked out colors and fixtures and all. I beleived we had a fresh start. Was so terribly wrong. Called OW tonight and told her this, "So, are you happy youre tearing ANOTHER marriage apart? I pray for you but you are monstrous. Keep away from my family, try to turn from your sin and find your way to God." I lost it. That's all I said. I am so sick of all these rationalizations about his sin and why he should never give us another chance. <p>I will remember your words and try to keep satan away. I pray the Jabez prayer alot: especially the part about "keep us safe from evil that we may not do harm." Especialy that part.<p>God bless you, my armor's wearing soo thin now. Just pray for me to keep holding up the shild to extinguish the fiery arrows that are being hurled at me now.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
I will not let Satan win. <hr></blockquote>
That's the spirit!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I am turning to God. For Him to stand by me as my husband for now. I will not give Satan what he wants. <hr></blockquote>
Keep leaning on God. Keep telling HIM to remove Satan far from you.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>...is the part about, after having done EVERYTHING part that scares me. Feel like nothing's left. That I've tried all. Should I just let go of all around me? I've given my M over to God. Does that mean to ignore all of it? To let it go? What if he keeps up w/legal threats (ie taking away and freezing accounts, etc.) <hr></blockquote>
Good!! If everything is gone, then God can work!! you don't have to "hold on" - you have to LET GO! As far as his threats, legal or otherwise, I am not an attorney, so I can't advise, but I would say you need to talk to an attorney to protect yourself and your son.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Called OW tonight and told her this, "So, are you happy youre tearing ANOTHER marriage apart? I pray for you but you are monstrous. Keep away from my family, try to turn from your sin and find your way to God." <hr></blockquote>
OK, I would advise you NOT to do this again. Maybe you felt you needed to "speak your peice" to her, but it will do NO good, so don't waste your breath. All you do when you call her (and let her see pain) is give HER strength OVER you and your M! Don't do that. Better to let her wonder what you are doing, HOW you are doing. She may ask him, but he won't know, either, if you aren't talking to him about it. Then it bugs them. Both of them. Cause if he is control freak, then he WANTS to be in control of your emotions, Good OR bad....and if he doesn't know what they are, then he ISN'T! Doesn't serve him well! Plus, when you try to "attack" her for breaking up your M, SHE gets to play "victim" w/your H and YOU become their common enemy! DON'T give them this chance. This UNITES them, she uses it to draw him closer to her.....see?<p>Hang tough, Peachy. You'll come through this, and with God's help, he CAN restore your M!<p>God Bless,
Lupo

Peachy,<p> Have you read the books from www.restorem.org? If not send me an email and I can forward an ebook to you.
Morriggs
morriggs@yahoo.com