I ask for your prayers. I have no strength left. I am so hurt and so tired and my thoughts are turning to rage. I don't want to give in to rage and I ask the Lord to forgive me and to wake my H and the EVIL person he is with. I am just sick for two days. Please pray.

Trying,<p>I will pray for you. Read Ps. 20. I will pray it for you. I know your pain all so well. It will get better. God is your strength.<p>In Him,
gentle

Trying,
I know that feeling all too well. I remember when my husband left me and my children; the pain is almost unbearable. You're not alone. You know, I have to be honest, I would keep tabs on my hubby all of the time to see what he was doing. This did more harm than good. I remember the rage and pits in my stomach when I thought about him being with someone else. All of my prayers were asking God to bring my husband back. Nothing would happen at all. It seems like he grew further away the more that I prayed. I remember being so angry one night that I dropped to my knees and cried out to God to just take the pain away. The pain was so much to bare that it didn't matter as much about my hubby anymore, I just wanted the pain and the heartache gone. I also asked God to be the husband that I needed and a father to my children. The next day wasn't as rough as the day before. It took some time, but eventually, I stopped thinking about my husband and his infidelities as much as I did before. I got used to him being gone and then realized that there is life without him. One night, he shows up at the front door asking me to take him back if he let God into his life. I said yes, but I wasn't really feeling anything. It was strange wanting and needing him there so badly to feeling that my life could go on without him. It's been about 2 years now and there still are kinks to work out, but things have gotten 100% better.
Do you know what helped me the most? Losing him did. I learned how to put God above all things in my life. I slip now and then and succumb to trials and tribulations, but then, I remember how He delivered me from the pain of losing my husband and I repent. It's not an easy road, but God is allowing this to happen for a reason. Pray that God reveals that reason to you and to bring you through it. He allowed me to go through it because I put my husband first all the time; that's idolatry. Boy did I learn my lesson. Another thing I learned was that what I want and what God wants for me are 2 completely different things. It's always better to want His will to be done and not your onw. Keep heart, the pain will not last forever, I am a testimony to that. I pray for you and your family. May God's will be done in your life in the name of Jesus.

I thank you both so much for your prayers and your hope. This morning I woke up refreshed in the Lord and I'm sure it was the prayers. <p>I am not trying to know what is going on - the vicious OW feels the need to inform me via SMS messages and letters to my house which my H saw - I handed it to him unopened - and just ripped up without reading. He doesn't WANT to see. I am angry again, unfortunately, because he called this morning. Everything was going okay until he called. <p>All I want is the maximum space possible between him and me and to live my life alone. I don't care about other men, I just wish I didn't have to deal with HIM - he hurts me so much and then I have a hard time being good to my daughter.<p>I am so so sad. <p>Thank you again for your loving messages. They really mean a lot to me.

Dear Lord, i lift my sister Trying up to you. I know you her her cries, but she needs to know. Lord , many of us just want to give up and hide. Lord the pain is just too great for us to handle. our strenth fails us badly. Lord im crying out for your help. Jesus, i know my sisters pain. How long Lord? I pray for some hope and comfort in times like these. In Jesus name, Amen
Mark

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU ARE IN ALOT OF PAIN-NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS PAIN UNLESS YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED IT.I PRAY THAT THE DEVIL WILL LEAVE YUUR FAMILY,HOUSE AND TOUCH YOUR HUSBAND.THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I AM GOING ON LINE-NOT SURE IF I USED THE CORRECT ICONS HOWEVER I PRAY YOU GET MY MESSAGE.MAY GOD CONTINUE TO BLESS YOU AND STRENGTHEN YOU.

Trying--<p>I agree totally what Lliya says! I have been there, too. The pain is almost unbearable---This is when I let my H go--as lliya says.....losing him is what made things "turn around". I call it letting go. i gave everything up to the Lord, too, b/c I couldn't handle it by myself----I definitely coundn't change it. I found out that when I no longer "worried" about my H that miracles started happening.<p>I think I went through this for the same reason that Lliya did, too. My focus was in the wrong place: on earthly things, not on God. Who can you trust? Not people. He is the only ONE we can put our whole trust into. Remember that we fight NOT against flesh and blood. <p>You have the strength to get through this----things will get better! I pray that your H comes to the end of himself, and that you and he can make a new start. Keep your faith, and know that I will be praying for you!<p>Hugs,
Krystal

TTH:
I've read some of your replies to other posts, and when I saw yours, I marvelled that someone in such pain could have such love & wisdom for others in need. Know that you are strong. I can see it. In your weakest hour, know that all that love you on this forum are with you.<p>I've been where you are, and it's no joke. I've been racking my brain to find something for you to lean on, trying to see what YOU'd say to someone who has posted what you have. I don't know that the person he is with, is EVIL. She is obviously impatient with your husband for not getting on with things. She thinks at this stage that you are "holding on" to him, and keeping you from him. Obviously, he is keping the truth from both of you: that at the moment, he enjoys the affair, and the comfort zone of having you at home. The only people who are miserable, are YOU, and SHE. His guilt at the knowledge of what he is doing, is slowly eating at him, and it will destroy hom, if he persists. He knows this. Pray for him. Avoid the rage. This doesn't mean you cannot be angry at him, or show that you are angry at him.<p>In the current status quo, everyone loses. Maybe it would be a good idea to communucate with the other woman, it would force some issues out into the open, and my guess is, he would NOT want to continue with this person under those conditions. However, in order for this to happen, you cannot think of her as evil. So her moral crossbar is set a little lower than yours. Take pity on her, and help each other. You're both victims of his willfulness. Meet for coffee in a safe public place, and take it from there. If this is not for you, don't do it. I think you should consider it, though.<p>Much strength to you.<p>Muzohead

Hi,<p>It's really great to see these new posts. I haven't seen a couple of you here on the Prayer Requests board before.<p>Lliya, Your post is a great inspiration and I feel that i am in a very similar situation now to the one you were in. God is really teaching me and showing me things I was totally oblivious in the past. Things he wanted drastically changed in me. I think the whole thing has humbled me, and brought me down a notch. I read somewhere else about putting your spouse before God, and that's what I was doing in my marriage in the past. I would follow my wife into things i'm sure the holy spirit was telling me not to do. What a spiritual wimp!!<p>I read somewhere that we should ask him to show us the root of our sin. Sometimes we think we are asking for repentence for the right things without asking God his will. I think the stuff i read before, and your post have shown that putting my wife before the Lord is wrong. I have been commiting idolitry.<p>Thanks again. I love it when God makes a point in my life. Even if it is highlighting the root of my sin.<p>Lastly, can everyone pray for me. I am going on holiday for a week starting tomorrow. Please just pray that God will help my avoid the temptation of doing things that displease him. I'm going with my best friend (male) who is a non-christian. Maybe I can witness to this truly aethist friend too!<p>Take care everybody.<p>Plec.

Hi -
Thank you each for your replies. I only had the strength to answer today. I am at the edge of a nervous breakdown. But the Lord will help me, I do know that and I won't break down because I can't lose control. I need to keep control for my daughter. (I am also taking my medicine - no reason to tempt the Lord on this.)<p>Muzohead, it's interesting that you said not to think of her as evil because I don't really. She is young and in love and wants to win. But she has been very mean to me and it hurt me for three days. She took pleasure in hurting me and my husband still cares about her. That is the fact that hurts. They are two confused and unhappy people that can't let go.<p>I am trying to be a better person and I have grown up a lot through this but I have a long way to go. I do want to be a soldier of Christ but you need your other mates and you guys have each helped me so much just by caring and praying. <p>Together we will win these ferocious battles in our homes.<p>Peace to all of you and thank you so very very much for your prayers.

Trying, when we are at our weakest, the Lords strenth will prevail. He is faithful, even when we are not. I have been praying for you and will continue.
Dear Lord, i lift my sister trying up to you. Lord you see her hurt and anger. I pray lord that you would give her some extra peace during her storm. Give her some hope Lord that you really care very much for her and her circumstances. May your name be glorified by her life and stand.
In Jesus name, Amen
Mark

LLiya--your post made soo much sense...I guess thats the point I am at now...basically because I have no where else to turn...maybe that happened so that I would turn to HIM....so are you guys back together then...I didn't quite understand.