I'm not sure why I'm posting, but I just wanted to express what i've been feeling lately.<p>I don't know what is happening with me, I've just been feeling really emotional for the past two weeks. I have no idea what has triggered it, nothing bad has happened I just feel in this wierd state where i'm just unhappy for long periods of time for no apparent reason. I've cried for no reason at all.<p>I have so much to be thankful for, but right now I only seem to be in this unhappy state. I'm really trying to spend time with the Lord as often as possible, and I've felt I've read some scriptures that have really touched me. I also prayed out aloud in church for the first time this sunday for a friend at church's parents marriage. Every time I spend quality time with the Lord I feel real relief and peace from this wierd state that i'm in. But I still wake up in the morning and feel unhappy, it's like the sun never shines anymore.<p>Maybe part of it is that my W hasn't called me for a week or so. Or maybe it's because i'm in this state of limbo where I don't quite know where i will be working / living in the new year as my job ends at the end of this year. I have this real urge to emigrate to Ausrtalia, but in my heart I know thats just an urge to run away from everything. To be as far away from my troubles as possible.<p>I've found a church which is rally good, but last night I went to a Bar with some friends from church. A few of them had a bit too much to drink, and were being rude etc. I just felt let down ... such a good church and then i'm let down by everyone acting this way. I guess though that we all sin, and I shouldn't judge them. When I got home though I prayed and read my bible and God gave me a real sense of peace. I didn't feel like he had shown me anything, but he just gave me rest.<p>I also have the feeling that satan is trying to crush me. He *really* wants me to doubt God right now, he wants me to quit, he wants me to focus on all the bad things in my life. I guess Satan is always trying to convince you that your glass is always half empty.<p>Sorry for this depressing post, but i'm just feeling a bit weird. I don't kow why i'm feeling like this.<p>I want to thank all you guys for all your words of encouragement, sometimes your posts have meant so much.<p>Plec.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by plecostomous:
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I also have the feeling that satan is trying to crush me. He *really* wants me to doubt God right now, he wants me to quit, he wants me to focus on all the bad things in my life. <p>Sorry for this depressing post, but i'm just feeling a bit weird. I don't kow why i'm feeling like this.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hi, Plec, <p>As always, it's good to hear from you. Even tho your post is "down" - I like to hear from you and know that you're still around! I'm really sorry to hear how you're feeling now, though. Let me try to change your focus a little bit.<p>Don't focus too much on how you feel right now (I know, easy to say - I'm "there" too), but it's true! Satan is such a thief and a liar. He steals our joy. This time of year should be filled with joy and thanksgiving......<p>We should be looking forward tomorrow to spending time with our families and being happy for what we have (our bounty) to be thankful for, but there's the devil trying to steal our joy and replace it with sorrow and pain. Don't let him do it. I'm trying REAL hard to stay happy. OUr circumstances don't make us happy or unhappy. Our relationship w/God is forever, and THAT should make us happy, regardless of what valley or trial we are currently in. I'm learning. I'm not there yet, but I'm learning.<p>As far as the Christmas season, I believe there's a reason why suicides are highest at that time of the year. It's because Satan IS a thief! He wants to steal God's "thunder" and take everyone's eyes off of what God did for US in sending that little baby, his Son, Jesus to earth for us. Satan has us thinking (this year, me at least) about OUR situation, OUR hurts, OUR loneliness, etc. and taking our eyes off what we DO have. We still do have HIM. We have our faith. We have our (extended) families, people who love us, who would never leave us, even if they died. We would see them again in heaven. That's all that's really important! The things of this life are temporary. Oh, how I wish I would REMEMBER this more often! I could get through the JUNK a lot easier that way.<p>This is truly what the holidays are all about. I know I want to be with ONE person in particular that I love, too, but if it's not going to be, I'm not going to dwell on it. <p>Separations for a "season" are sometimes arranged by God. Think about all the people who are deployed in some far away land. They are separated, too, and sad. BUT if we stay close to God, then we are closer to all those we love, even our Prodigals who need us to lift them to God's hand even MORE while they are away. We CAN'T let down, maybe more for them than for ourselves.<p>Satan lies to us all the time. He makes us think God is not working in the lives of our Prodigals. He makes us think God doesn't "love us enough to bring them home." WRONG!! God loved us soooo much, he DIED for us! What's left to prove after that?<p>Hang in there, Plec. I think we need to pray. Maybe TODAY about tomorrow's peace and thanksgiving efforts. Can we arrange it by 6 PM EST? <p>Everyone? Can we pray today?<p>Lupo

Thanks Lupo,<p>It's really nice to hear from you too. I like to read your posts ... they often give me inspiration and joy. I'm always here ... but often just lurking. BTW : Have you heard from GodlyMan lately?<p>You are so right. Satan does want to take away our joy and our peace. He wants me to forget the wonderful few times I have had with my wife recently. He wants me to forget the time of peace and warmth that I felt spending time with the Lord last night.<p>I find it a real help to search my old posts on the MB board and look at how God has helped me through the past 12 months. And all the words of encouragement from my friends in Christ on the MB site.<p>I dug up a reply to one of my posts from Tryingtohope. It reminded me how important it is to stand, not just for myself but for my wife too ...<p>"But right now we are being asked to go beyond that, to fight our own flesh for the sake of those we love. If you give up, it's like letting go of your wife's hand while she's on a cliff. Don't do that to her. Trust in God. He made the stars. He can bring her back healed."<p>I like the being on the edge of a cliff thing, it's so true!<p>It's so easy to forget the gift of salvation that God has given us. And also so easy not to trust that he has a plan for us, and he is working even when to us it seems like nothing is happening.<p>I'll post a prayer list in a minute.<p>Thanks again.<p>Plec.