My wife left and filed last month. She says she does not want to reconcile because she does not believe my new (nicer) self will stay for long. I don't blame her for her fear but I truly have changed and would like for her to forgive me and give our marriage a chance.<p>So my prayer requests are:
I will be able to satisfy W's emotional needs from a distance.
W will develop a forgiving heart and spirit.<p>Thank you everyone.
jdb

Dear JD,
I'm really sorry that you are in this situation. It is a terribly sad thing and you have been together for so long, it must be awful.<p>Change is hard for everyone but it sounds like you have been able to change yourself for the better and even your wife noticed the change.<p>There might be a higher reason for you to be in this situation. Maybe God wants to draw you even closer to Him.<p>Nothing is impossible with God, as you know. What seems impossible is trusting Him and His timing, but that's exactly what He asks us to do. That's the hardest part, at least for me.<p>Don't give up or give in. Be patient and find Christian men to boost you. Keep visiting here and give help and prayers to others and you will see that the Lord will give you the grace to handle your situation.<p>Don't look at the circumstances but have the faith of Peter, who got out of the boat to walk on the water. Keep your eyes steady on the Lord or you can drown! But really, He is there to help you and so are we. We are all in this together and if nothing else, you are going to be a much better person with each passing day. You will be stronger and much more courageous than you feel today.<p>You can restore your marriage "by yourself" because you are not alone but walking with the Lord.<p>Holy Spirit of God, you who gave JD the grace to change himself, draw him closer and closer to You and the Trinity. Allow him to feel Your comfort and strength. Help him find others to stand with him and comfort him. Please keep him strong and away from all temptation.
Amen.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Tryingtohope:
<strong>Dear JD,
I'm really sorry that you are in this situation. It is a terribly sad thing and you have been together for so long, it must be awful.
</strong><p>Yes, it's pretty bad emotionally. Probably for her more than me but it's still pretty bad for me.<p><strong>
Change is hard for everyone but it sounds like you have been able to change yourself for the better and even your wife noticed the change.
</strong><p>Yes, change can be hard but fear is a great motivator. I have changed for the better and can only hope and pray that W will trust that the change is for good.<p><strong>
There might be a higher reason for you to be in this situation. Maybe God wants to draw you even closer to Him.
</strong><p>That's part of what He wants. He also wants me to stop being a loner. I have not had any close male friends for about five years now and God wants me to change that. Also, He wants me develop more patience...and boy am I!! He also wants me to help others more I suspect. I'm sure there are others but those are the only ones I can see at the moment. Of course some of the changes may be directed at W and the kids too.<p><strong>
Nothing is impossible with God, as you know. What seems impossible is trusting Him and His timing, but that's exactly what He asks us to do. That's the hardest part, at least for me.
</strong><p>Yes, God has perfect timing and yes, that is the hardest part for me too. I want God to work on my time, but He insists to work in His time. So I wait and pray.<p><strong>
Don't give up or give in. Be patient and find Christian men to boost you. Keep visiting here and give help and prayers to others...
</strong><p>Definately. I won't, I won't, I'm trying, I have, I will be, and I will.<p><strong>
You can restore your marriage "by yourself" because you are not alone but walking with the Lord.
</strong><p>I can only hope and pray so. I found several recommendations and suggestions here already for working "alone" (with the Lord of course).<p>Thank you so much for your supporting words and prayer. They really do help more than you can know.<p>I'm pretty good at the moment though since my middle girl will be visiting this weekend [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Thanks again and God bless you to His full outpouring.<p>jdb

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by J.D. Black:
<strong>My wife left and filed last month. She says she does not want to reconcile because she does not believe my new (nicer) self will stay for long. I don't blame her for her fear but I truly have changed and would like for her to forgive me and give our marriage a chance.<p>So my prayer requests are:
I will be able to satisfy W's emotional needs from a distance.
W will develop a forgiving heart and spirit.<p>Thank you everyone.
jdb</strong><hr></blockquote>

may God bless you. i have prayed for you, your wife and your children. i separated from my spouse a couple of months ago, but now am working on reconciliation. i dont say this to make you feel worse, but to let you know, that it takes fervent prayer because divorce is of the enemy, not God. i knew what God's word said about divorce, but was being stubborn, until one of my coworkers (who doesnt know my marital situation) started talking about divorce and christians...well, i knew that was God speaking to me through him. thanks to the prayers of my husband, and others, my spiritual eyes have been opened and i am now willing to reconcile with my husband. i pray that God will allow your wife's spiritual eyes to be opened also, and that He would have mercy on her. DO NOT stop praying for your marriage...believe IN FAITH, and you shall receive. may God continue to bless you....your sister in Christ Jesus!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by J.D. Black:
<strong>My wife left and filed last month. She says she does not want to reconcile because she does not believe my new (nicer) self will stay for long. I don't blame her for her fear but I truly have changed and would like for her to forgive me and give our marriage a chance.<p>So my prayer requests are:
I will be able to satisfy W's emotional needs from a distance.
W will develop a forgiving heart and spirit.<p>Thank you everyone.
jdb</strong><hr></blockquote>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Saved:
<strong>i pray that God will allow your wife's spiritual eyes to be opened also, and that He would have mercy on her.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Thank you so very much. Your words did not make me feel worse at all. In fact, they demonstrated that God is faithful and He can do miracles. I too pray that W's eyes will be opened. I also pray that her heart will be softened. <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
<strong>
DO NOT stop praying for your marriage...believe IN FAITH, and you shall receive.
</strong>
<hr></blockquote><p>I pray daily for her and the kids. And they are always on my mind.<p>BTW: The Power of a Praying Husband and The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian are wonderfully powerful books<p>On a happy note: One of the kids are coming to stay with me over the weekend starting tomorrow (12/21) afternoon.
[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thanks again.
jdb

thank you for reference books...i had seen them, but not read them. i think i will buy them as a Christmas gift for myself.<p>continuing to pray for you, but i believe that your marriage will NOT end in divorce! Hallelujah to THE True, Living AND Most High God! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ December 21, 2001: Message edited by: Saved ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Saved:
<strong>thank you for reference books...i had seen them, but not read them. i think i will buy them as a Christmas gift for myself.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Please do, they are well worth the price.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>
...but i believe that your marriage will NOT end in divorce!...
</strong><hr></blockquote>

Wow, you are not the first believer to tell me that. I have had a couple of family member infer that they think is will happen but others have stated otherwise. Plus, I have a strange sense of peace about it not happening (which kinda scares me a bit)<p>Thank you so much for you encouraging words. They mean a lot to me.<p>jdb