I am new here, and I need help. I have an addiction...to affairs. I cannot seem to be satisfied or happy within my relationship with my husband. I have read Dr. Harvey's books, and got out of one affair and then into another. I found out about a month ago that I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease. Can anyone give me any hope at all? Please pray for my husband and me. I can't seem to get the other man out of my head (stupid) even though he did this to me. Can someone please pray that I will have faith and everything will be okay? My husband is a good man and deserves more than this. I suffer from depression and have for two years. I also have bipolar disorder. I am not using this as an excuse. I know that God can heal my marriage. I just need someone who understands what I am going through. Please try to avoid being judgemental and bashing. I know I probably deserve it, but try to be patient.

Hello and Welcome to Marriage Builders! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Please read the general welcome on my signature line. You will find out everything you've ever wanted to know about Marriage Builders!! <p>So... you're ready for a change??? Have you told your husband (H) the WHOLE truth? Have you been medicated for the STD, and has your H? Do you have children? How long have you been married? How many questions can I ask?? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'll await the answers...

My husband knows everything. I am medicated for the STD, and it seems to be going okay. I also had a blood test, which I think is in the clear. I will know for sure when I go back. It's embarrassing, but I had vaginal warts. I am using a cream, which is helping them disappear. My husband is a good man. Why can't I love him like I want to? I know. I broke the covenant. But he's a good man. He deserves to be loved well. Right now, I'm so depressed that I am starting to think of ways to kill myself. I know that this is a typical response. It just hurts to have these stupid feelings that won't go away. I hurt everytime I look at him and can't love him the way I want to.

Listen, I have a few things to say:<p>First, you are in the Prayer Requests so I will assume that you are reaching out to God and to those who believe in Him... so I will go on that assumption and tell you that you are a CHILD OF GOD and worthy of the life, the GIFT, God gave you. That gift is YOUR LIFE. It is very important that you CHERISH IT.<p>Secondly, you sound depressed, and depression is REAL. I also suffer and take anti-depresents. I think it would be a VERY good idea to discuss this with your doctor, as well as getting a referral for a therapist. There is nothing wrong with using the people God put on this earth to help us!<p>Third, God can, and does HEAL our lives. It's so hard though... I have struggled so much over the last few years, so I hear you! I understand, as do many people here.<p>Do you have enough money to call the Harley's?? They are the originator's of this site, and do phone counseling. Is your H interested in saving your marriage too? Is he still living at home?<p>Finally, there IS such a thing as sexual addiction, and there are many, many reasons for it. So, I have a question, which seems to be a common thread I've seen around here: Were you ever sexually abused by anyone?? (Too many of us were!)<p>Also, like I asked above (all these questions, eh?) -- how long married, how many kids???

Dear Despondant, I do understand from your husbands point of view. My W is also Manic depressant(Bipolar) and has done the same things many times.
I think my W used to justify it by thinking im a good man and dont deserve what shes putting me thru, so she would continue doing dope and affairs and putting me thru hell in hopes that i would give up and have a better life. I contnued to have faith and to love her although she disappeared for a few years. She came back and i rejected her. She called back a few months later and Was in treatment and my love in my heart came back for her. I think the rejection is what caused her to fall in love with me again. She is still bipolar and in a tratment home. We have been seeing each other for the last year and working towards putting our marriage back together, but she has hep C now and has done a lot of brain damage from the meth. Only God can change hearts.
Dear Lord, i pray that you would keep despondants H strong in you and that you would heal her heart of waywardness caused by an illness out of her control. I pray you would set her heart fully on her husband again. She is crying out to you Lord for your help. Hear her cries.
In Jesus name, Amen
Mark

I have been married for eight years. We don't have any children, and my husband is willing to work it out. Yes,currently I am very depressed. The only thing that keeps me focused is writing about it and praying about it.<p>Yes, I was sexually abused....by my sister and by some guys one day when I was out jogging by myself after school (I was still a teenager.)My sister never really wants to discuss it, and any time I have brought it up, she has tried to pretend I didn't say anything. I think this does have something to do with the way i perceive myself. I like being looked at by men and seen as sexually attractive....too much. <p>Right now, I feel unattractive, overweight, etc, ad nauseum. I know that I need help, but I have been to so many counselors. I don't know how to get the right help anymore. It is easy to trick counselors into believing that you are okay, just to get off the hook. I have done this before. I don't trust myself anymore. <p>I tried calling the OM this afternoon. He had emailed me, so I called. I still think about him, in spite of the pain I have caused my husband. Calling Dr. Harvey would be too expensive right now, but I think my husband is willing to talk with my minister with me. <p>I know that Christ gave me a special gift when he breathed life into me. I am just really tired right now of the battle with depression. i just want it to stop so badly sometimes that I don't know anything else to think about but ways to end it. I hang on. I get up, get dressed for work, go in, do my job. People tell me I should rejoice when I talk online to Christians, and I feel guilty because I'm not happy. I try to tell myself that it's okay to feel what I do. It's just simply where i am at, and I continue to pray. I think that affairs are one negative way to get my mind off depression. It did for awhile. But now i am back to square one and worse than i was before. Thank you for listening.

Lost Pup, thank you so much for your prayers, from both my husband and from myself.

I am encouraged to read your messages because you sound as if your are truly looking for God to heal and lead you. I will pray with you that your marriage is restored and that you receive whatever it is that you need to recover. Two things I know, there is such a thing as sexual addiction. The pastor of my church wrote a book "Pure Desire" - Ted Roberts, about this addiction. At my church there are many small groups of people in recovery. The second thing is that for some people w/bipolar disorder the sexual acting out is part of a manic phase so I hope that you are receiving medical help for the symptoms of the disorder. I think you will find the book helpful, too. My husband is addicted, not just to sex/new affairs, but to drugs. The only reason we are still married and that he has "come to his senses" is because of prayer. I firmly believe if we had not had the prayerful support of many people we would have parted several years ago. Yet it still is quite hard. So, I hope you can find near you the people you need to help support you. Keep your eyes on God, read scripture daily, pray constantly. Watch for the blessings God will bring your way as your honor Him and your covenant with Him. He wants to bring you the very best for your life. I am thankful for you that the darkness of this addiction has lightened and you can see. That is wonderful. God bless.