Together for 12 years, 2 boys (9&3). H has left family to discover who he is without us. Children and i missing him terribly.
History of separation, periods of co-dependency which we both recognise. Somehow always make it back to each other. H now says he comes back out of guilt. Says he needs to be alone to figure out what he wants. Says he loves the kids and i still but no chance of reconciliation. No OM or OW at this point of separation, but he is talking of us both moving on with OP.
Please, does anyone have advice on how to cope, how to deal with the hurt. I wont let go of hope that our family belongs together.
Please pray that my H can find his way back to us and i pray that God shows him that his family love and want him home.

Shinobi, you have to come to the right place. To the place of prayer, yes. And also, to Marriage Builders.<p>Many here have travelled through the pain you are going through today.<p>Is there any chance you can get some counselling or at least some good books by Dr. Harley or others?<p>Your marriage is at a critical point where prevention can happen. Please don't believe H's deception that OP are even a possibility. You need to lean on God now and accept His love. Don't be afraid to come to Him just asking Him straight out for help, advice and direction. Don't be afraid to post here. There are a great cloud of prayer warriors here in this forum who will intercede for your family. <p>Don't let H go without a fight, whatever you do. It sounds like he is going through a time of self-doubt, maybe even mid-life crisis? Let him know you will not consider OP ever and that you are here for him.<p>It really sounds like you both need individual and couple counselling. <p>Please keep in touch and know that we are praying for you.<p>Dear Lord, I pray for Shinobi that Your Divine intervention will rescue her M--that You will give her hope--renew her love for her H and his for her...and keep this family together.
Father, I pray for their safety emotionally and physically and any financial needs adding stress to the situation.
Thank You that You are the God of miracles and nothing is impossible with You. I pray today You will begin a healing work in Shinobi's life and ask that You carry her through by your tremendous grace and mercy.
Thank You that you are more than able, In Jesus' name. Amen

Freshstart, thankyou so much for replying to my post. Your words have given me some hope when all arond me seems hopeless.
I have booked myself into a recovery workshop which runs 3 hours a week. It is a class to give hope and direction for people going through separation and divorce. I am also considering individual counselling. At this point H would not consider couselling together, though he has mentioned he may also go to individual counselling. I think no matter what, that is a step in the right direction. Unfortunately though, H is not open to any suggestion of reconciliation.
There is quite alot of pain from the past in our relationship, i have hurt H deeply and H has hurt me deeply. And yet, i still believe we can get through this, it is something that inside my stomach and heart i know feels right. Each time i ask God for some kind of sign i am drawn to saving my marriage and family.
Yes, you are right when you say H may be going through some kind of crisis. H is under financial pressure with taxes for work, H also is very unhappy in his career, he wants to find a new direction in life that will make him satisfied. In H's time of self doubt, there is also doubt as to whether he wants to be with me also. It pains my heart to know that the man i love no longer wants to be with me.
Could you please clarify for me what you mean by "do not believe H's deception about OP" ??
Please also pray that God touches my H in some way, he is a believer, yet does not worship.<p>I thankyou again Freshstart, just to put this to paper has helped me. <p>i pray for peace for myself and my children and my H.

Shinobi, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to respond to my prayer request. It amazes me at how I sometimes feel like I am the only person in this type of mess. It does help to hear about other stories. I wanted you to know that I have said a prayer for you and your family. God does have a plan for each of us and although it is so hard to fiqure out, we must know that he will guide us in the right direction! I'll keep you in my prayers.