My W and I are going away for a few days alone this coming week. I wrote the post "Lonely in a Good Marriage" in this subjet area. If you have read it you know our problems. We are both believers, and both love our Lord and desperately want to serve him in our marriage and our lives, but the inability to connect is killing who we are inside. We really love each other, and are trying so hard, but I have lost hope and can hardly make it through the day. It has taken 24 years or trying so hard to make it work to get here to where I am not denying the real problem. That is good, since denial is such an enemy, but it hurts so bad for both of us.<p>Part of our problem is that we spent the first 18 years of marriage in a cultic abusive church. In such groups you do not grow, but stay in suspended animation in a sense, so the emotional issues of early marriage are upon us now with 24 years and 5 kids behind us.<p>Brothers and sisters, please pray. I can hardly make it any longer with this deep pain and black, crushing loneliness. I long for a match to my soul. Maybe God will take that need away, or change one or both of us, or...? <p>Thank you so much. It helps to know you are there.

Lord Jesus, I thank you for this couple, You have a plan, direction and a destiny for them to fullfill in You. As they spend some time alone away from everything else may they connect in You and together Lord. May the dream You have for this M become evident to them. Open the eyes of their hearts Lord, they are blinded by past events that build up walls and put up natural defenses. I pray that all that would vanish in Your name, may the love affair begin in this M, Your covenant and power to stengthen these dear souls who are longing for more. May they find it in You, IJN. Amen.

I read your situation, and pray that my husband and I get to be together for 25 productive and loving years. I went looking for a prayer because I am not a prayer warrior. I found this and hope that it helps you.
"The New Creation Marriage"
The following prayer was given to the writer of Prayers That Avail Much by the Holy Spirit for her husband and her. I hope it helps you.<p>Both pray together:
Father, in the name of Jesus, we rejoice and delight ourselves in one another. We are in Christ, the Messiah, and have become new creatures altogether, new creations; the old (previous moral and spiritual condition) has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! May our family be seen as bright lights - stars or beacons shining out clearly - in the dark world.<p>Husband prays:
I love my wife, as Christ loves the Church. I am to her what Christ is to the Church. I have given myself up for her, so that I might set her apart for myself, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word through intercession and counsel, that I might present her to myself in glorious splendor, for she is (the expression of) my glory (majesty, preeminence). Therefore, she is without spot or wrinkle or any such things - but she is holy and faultless as my help meet. I love her as (being in a sense) my own body, for I love her as I love myself. I nourish and carefully protect and cherish her, as Christ does the Church, for we are members (parts) of His body. Jesus is my example. I trust (myself and everything) to God Who judges fairly.
I thank You, Father, that my wife and I are able ministers of the New Covenant - ministers of reconciliation. Father, (in Your love) You chose us - actually picked us out for Yourself as Your own - in Christ before the fofundation of the world; that we should be holy (consecrated and set apart for Yourself) before You in love.
Father, my wife and I have received Your favor and mercy which You have lavished upon us in every kind of wisdom and understanding (practical insight and prudence).
The wife prays:
Father in the name of Jesus, I am submissive - I submit and adapt myself - to my own husband as (a service) to the Lord. I see that I respect and reverence my husband - that I notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, venerate and esteem him; and that I der to him, praise him, and love and admire him exceedingly. The heart of my husbandd can trust in me confidently and rely on and believe in me safely, so that he has no lack of honest gain or need of dishonest spoil. I will comfort, encourage and do him only good as long as there is life within me.
As I seek counsel from my husband, he will be my strength, my hiding place, my high tower, my intercessor - and we will stand side by side as we minister life, love, healing - soundness and wholeness - to those God sends our way. We will stand together as one before the Body of Christ.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
Scripture References:
2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 1:4,6,8, Philippians 2:15b, Ephesians 5:22,33b, Ephesians 5:25-30, 1 Corinthians 11:7b, 1 Peter 2:23b, Provers 31:11,12, 2 Corinthians 3:6, Matthew 19:5,6, 2 Corinthians 5:18<p>I hope that this helps you. I will be praying for you also. Nothing is impossible in His name<p>Jen

Thank you both for your prayers, and for taking the time to write them. Today is the day, I'll let you know what God does or does not do. Maybe "wait" is his answer. but after 25 years, I hope not. Thanks again.

I'll wait to hear the good news.<p>knight

knight,
I almost feel wrong in the light of your struggles, but I want to answer you and all who prayed. We had a good time; in some ways agreat time. We were able to talk openly about the differences in our basic personalities and how they will remain as they are. We had a very close time, as always. Inside I was dying, though, since this closeness is a mockery of the basic issue - lack of real soul-to-soul connection. But we came away refreshed and at least more understanding of the problem. I stil have no hope of change in our issue, and am praying for God to do something - whatever that is. Maybe I am the one holding my wife back from real usefulness to God and to a man who can connect with her and move ahead in God's service with her. If so, may God take me home and get me out of her way.

rjd,<p>I am so glad that you had a great weekend, I do appreciate your concern, but do not worry about me. I am in God's hands and He will keep me in perfect peace. (though I don't always let Him)<p>If I can make one suggestion, since this is email I will give my 2cents. Don't be so concerned about having soul to soul connection, that will come with time. There has been a huge rift in your relationship and only time will allow that to heal. As humbly as I can say this, just be the best man you know how to be, if you are falling short in an area, pick yourself up and get better at it. The world, the flesh and the Devil are at war in your life and M so know that that is were the fight is and allow yourself to heal.<p>May God's multipled blessings be on your life,
knight