You guys, I am so excited. And yet I feel slightly anxious, too.<p>I have received a special honour and been given a trip to the mountains--by myself (sort of)--My service club nominated me for an award and decided to send me as a delegate to our area conference--a double honour.<p>I am beside myself with joy at this privilege. To top things off, I went window-shopping tonight for a dress for the formal awards dinner that is part of things--not only did I find a gorgeous gown ON SALE but I usually go to plus size clothing stores---I actually fit into the smallest size dress!!!! Yay!<p>Anyway, while I treasure the thought of my own room and time for personal relaxation and reflection and making new friends (sometimes H can overshadow me socially so I confess although I will miss him like crazy, I am looking forward to the independence)--I am feeling nervous. I have not travelled alone since the A. I certainly have no plans to behave inappropriately, etc. but just want extra prayer that temptation will not arise and if it does, that I will run from it and into the Lord's loving arms. I have absolutely no desire to repeat past foolishness and have worked so hard and now finally life is really coming together--perhaps Satan is just trying to spoil my trip.<p>There is a very special highlight for me in this conference because one of the speakers is a Christian woman who talks and lives forgiveness. Also, I just find getting into the mountains such a helpful medicine to the soul. <p>God has been blessing me SO much lately. Today my boss sent me this wonderful email to say how she admires my teachable spirit and sees me becoming confident in my job. That felt so special.<p>H is spoiling me and just got home so I must go now. He told me to buy the dress!! God is really blessing us and I just don't want to mess up His incredible plans for anything.<p>Love to all and thanks!

Dear FS:<p>Good for you. I just wanted to let you know you are appreciated and cared for by we at MB as well as your family, church and employer.<p>You will fly through any temptation because of your faith and love of your H.<p>Have a great time.<p>Jack

WMIW: Thank you. You don't know how much I need to hear those words.<p>H has returned to ministry and I am in my very first battle with the ladies. I lead a group and am feeling quite devestated about recent treatment. I want to run from the situation--pray that I do the right thing.<p>Thanks again.

Dear FS:<p>I am sorry, I do not know about the treatment these people are showing you BUT:<p>God has forgiven you. Your H has forgiven you. I hope you have forgiven yourself. Does not the treatment this people are showing you speak more about them then you?<p>Keep showing them the person you are. They will come around and truly feel bad for what they are doing.<p>All my best to you and your family, FS.<p>Jack

Hey, Jack. The situation is solving itself. It's not a huge issue, really. Power struggle...at least this time around, I realize I am burning out in leading the group and although I caved to the lady trying to control me and the group through me, I also practiced some spiritual/practical "self-defense." It's nice to be healthy enough to realize when things become unhealthy, it's time to step back--and maybe put my foot down as pastor's wife-just a bit. <p>I hope I don't sound like some kind of control freak. Being a people-pleaser got me into trouble in ministry and life before and still does at times. <p>Ironically the woman trying to manipulate me is a Christian whose h has had multiple As and is an alcoholic. It was really hard to keep my focus on her spiritual needs when I felt under attack. God is just so amazing--I attended a meeting last night where an acquaintance shared how God confronted her about her extremely negative feelings about her own H. It was like the Lord was letting me peek into my troublemaking friend's heart and seeing the pain that maybe isn't even about me...maybe trying to control me is safe for her since her M feels out of control? Not that I condone such behaviour but it was a good eye-opener for me. <p>Life in the fishbowl isn't always fun. But then it has other benefits that far outweigh stupid church politics!! Thank Heavens for that [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

On a lighter note, for the ladies praying/reading, H took me to a different dress shop and we found a beautiful fun outfit for the awards banquet.<p>Also, I think my father (remember how I'm praying for a restored emotional relationship with him?) is going to give me some help for the conference. I didn't ask for this at all. It feels nice being Daddy's girl on occasion even as a grown-up [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Just wanted to post thanks to God and thanks to those who prayed. God helped me to pass the test with absolutely no problem.<p>It was quite a thrill to make the trip alone. There was an element of fear as this is really the first of this type of venture I ever tried independently. I prayed for protection and that God would send me Christian friends at the conference. He answered that so incredibly.<p>I was invited to a couple's deck to enjoy a singalong which in my naievity (how do you spell that?) I didn't realize would turn into a drinking party. Another couple (who were the people that invited me to it originally!) gave me a ride back early as the husband said if he had a couple drinks, he could not drive me safely. I felt a bit bewildered by the whole thing but it was an absolutely lovely evening. I decided since it was early when I was safely returned to my motel, to go for a walk on the main street. Didn't I meet some friends from my own city/old church walking toward me?<p>Isn't God so cool???<p>And I did receive the award, along with several other MEN!! That kinda makes me feel good, too. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Recovery is very hard work. I don't post to brag--simply to share the joy that comes and to let anyone wondering do you ever survive an A and get better to know that with your trust in God, life can get a whole lot better. <p>I wasn't tempted at all. As a matter of fact, the first evening a man offered to buy me a drink and instantly an alarm bell went off inside me. He didn't try to find or speak to me for the rest of the conference. <p>Being there on my own without H was very very lonely but people were kind enough to let me talk about him--I even found myself sharing with another couple at breakfast today how we met!!<p>Also, I had asked in this forum for prayer for my Dad. Not only is he recovering beautifully from his surgery BUT he just received a report that his cholestrol is COMPLETELY NORMAL. I am not exaggerating when I say that my family was used for medical research because we are prone to terrible cholestrol troubles. My father is the only remaining male left of his immediately family and almost all his brothers (large family) died in their 50s. Dad will be 65 this year.<p>God is so good and please don't underestimate the power of YOUR prayers. God is hearing you.<p>Please also don't underestimate the answers God will bring as you post your requests. He loves you and will do beautiful things in your life as you seek Him.

Thanks FS [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] I needed that<p>knight

((((Knight)))): so good to know you are visiting, too!!!<p>How is everything? write when you get a chance!<p>I just can't believe how the Lord is pouring the healing balm all over my life. I don't think I have ever felt this relaxed in my life.<p>Bless you and your W and kids. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]