All,<p>I have been praying for guidance, wisdom, strength, patience, love, understanding, and forgiveness. Things are going sort of okay but my W's PA's really has me looking at us quite differently where I am re-examining our relationship. So much so, that I am wondering if she and I really have that much in common between us to hold us together. If I had to chose her again today, I think I would refrain. Perhaps her PA's were her way of acknowledging on her part that she saw that there wasn't much there between us either, that it didn't matter if she strayed because we weren't going to be around as a couple anyway.<p>So this all brings me to my point. Now I find myself praying for a clear, direct sign from God that we are to continue on together as a married couple. I have ignored my relationship with God for so long. I lost my deep spirituality in the midst of making a living and letting the struggle to survive consume me. My wife and her kids became so much of my life that all things that were intrinsically a part of my being have fallen to the wayside. Part of my resentment for my W's PA's is the fact that the M was my entire existence and this has shaken it to the core. I am now taking care of myself and rebuilding myself as an individual. I realize that though I love my W, I cannot place my entire faith in her (can we truly place our faith wholly on any one person?), so I am working on me again.<p>So, here's the real question: Have you ever prayed for a clear answer on which direction to pursue in a situation, any situation, (not necessarily a marital plight such as this), and have you received an undeniable sign that gave you that answer?<p>Your experiences in this would be appreciated.
[ May 08, 2002: Message edited by: Blind Sided ]<p>[ May 08, 2002: Message edited by: Blind Sided ]</p>

An resounding yes. God is the one who will lead and guide you, He says that He will draw near to you when You draw near to Him. I have seen my w healed from major back problems, out of a wheelchair, I felt the Lord telling me that my bedridden and pregnant w were to go to a youth camp. Reluctantly she went with me and the 3rd service she was completely miraculously healed.<p>Now more recently, with my M I faced many of the same questions you are now experiencing. I too went to the Lord for answers and spent time working on myself. The Lord kept telling me to look to Him for strength and answers, which for the most part I did. Then one day at the altar in our church the Lord tells me in 2 months I would see the salvation of the Lord, I understood that to be my wife coming home from the mid-east and in her right mind. I will tell you from Feb to April it was a little more than 60 days but He brought her home and the first Sunday she was back she went forward at a call to recieve forgivness from Christ. Our church is about 3000 members and we are friends with almost all of the 17 pastors on staff there, so it took God to get her to take such a radical step. <p>God will answer your hearts cry, all you need to do is give it all up to Him and to draw near to Him and He will do the rest.<p>Blessings and prayers to you,
knight

Yes! See my post.<p>I also asked God for a statue of Mary for Christmas and didn't tell anyone about my request.
And really, who gives or gets for that matter a statue of Mary for Christmas?<p>Well, guess what, my parents, unbeknownst to me had bought me a statue of Mary when they were on a trip way back in October and gave it to me on Christmas I think they forgot to give it to me on my birthday - well lets see - did they forget on accident or did God work so that I would receive it on Christmas?????<p>Anyway, it was my sign that my marriage would be restored. Now it's not restored yet, but my ExH needs a conversion and until he is converted, which I can see God working awful hard on, then I know he won't return. But remember things happen in God's time and according to His plan, and it's our job to trust in His plan which is Love and Mercy itself.<p>How can you go wrong with a plan like that? K

BlindSided, thanks for your candor about your rift with God. He will heal that as you know--just reach out and you'll find His hand waiting to take yours.<p>This could turn out to be quite the post.<p>Let me tell you a non-marriage related answer. For years, H and I were in ministry in a denomination that we grew up in--we could see many things going astray from its original roots and were very unhappy about some doctrinal issues and generally unhappy in ministry overall.<p>We were on a family trip and H had a dream while we were in the hotel room. I don't even remember the dream totally but part of it was that someone was preaching and mentioned a reference to Exodus 4 [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] I think verse 17) At the time we lived in central Canada. H is from Western Canada. If I have the verse right, it is Moses asking if he might return to Egypt to go home and check on his brothers. <p>H knew this was confirmation that he was to leave that particular ministry at the time but we didn't act on it. Sadly, cancer came, then my A, then an abrupt end to ministry because I felt I lacked integrity to continue as a pastor myself.<p>Happily! Healing came,we left that denomination and experienced a renewed marriage, renewed relationship to Christ and H has just returned to ministry. <p>There is a lot of hope. You just never know what God wants to do. I can't believe that I let myself become a WS and now I can't believe that God has restored me and is blessing me in ways I never dreamed possible.<p>Please hang on to the mustard seed sized faith--may it grow as people share their answers to prayer with you. "Nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

[img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Oops! That was supposed to be a colon and not a sad face for Exodus 4:17!! Some days are like that!

I agree this could become quite the post. I can hardly hold tears back as I read allyour posts and write this one. Wife left in Jan. moved in with OM from work. things are ugly, left me with 3 kids (2 teenagers). we faught alot, I was never there emotionally for her. We have been in marriage ministry and youth ministry. I am standing on the covenant that we made with God! O.K now the good stuff. We recently almost lost our home, THe first and second mortgage were both 2 months behind. THan she told me she would m=not be able to pay the second as she had earlier comitted to. I was seeking God and asking for a miracle. the men in my accountability group came op with $2,100 to pay off my back debt. WOW!
two in a half months ago my 14 year ols son told me he did not want this religiong crap shoved down his throat anymore. I again stayed on my face before God. two weeks ago he recieved his prayer language, and now makes sure I take him to mens prayer every week. He has had alot of anger that I see melting away. God is so good. Now I am praying the fire of the Holy Spirit to fall on every member of my family. Expecially me and Wife.As you stated it is great to get so close to God after letting that relationship slip. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

Well, ironically, I got a clear sign yesterday! Actually, 2 of them!<p>I have been hemming and hawing and sitting on the "Stay, Make It Work" and "Go, Leave It All Behind" fence since D-Day and finding myself actually contemplating DV, when it suddenly happened!: I actually found myself sick to my stomach thinking about her not being in my life!

What brought on this revelation? <p>We were talking today about how much each of us has to work so hard and so long to make ends meet that we never have the time to enjoy other, let alone rebuild our marriage and make an enjoyable life for ourselves, so she made the comment "I don't know Scott, I'm getting pretty tired of living our life like this!" <p>Then it hit me! That stomach flipping thingy! I felt a pang inside as I envisioned her telling me she had had enough of the rat race and the doldrums of survival and just wanted to move on, separately. Inside I was like "Nooooooooo!!!!" Perhaps this is one element of our life that led to her straying. All I know is she is fighting depression and she has been beating herself up real bad lately over her betrayal and over her own self-disappointments in life. <p>I want to help her feel better about herself and about us, so now I know that I have to make better and more vigorous efforts at revival than the half-hearted efforts I have been making so far. I was waiting for some signal, some clear sign within me, and I certainly got one! I guess my feelings had to be tested this way to show me where my heart truly was in all this. So, I am going to go with it and strive to revive! I went home from work with a new attitude and an open heart and open mind. <p>Later on, before I went to sleep for the night, I was in bed, sitting upright, meditating and praying (as I always do), and suddenly a thought dropped into my consciousness, &#8220;If my W comes in here and to make love to me before I go to sleep, than I will consider that a clear sign that I should be staying with her.&#8221; Bah! I tried to dismiss the thought. I figured &#8220;What right do I have telling God what signs I will accept in this situation!?&#8221; So, I continued my meditation and prayer. Within 2 minutes of that thought, guess what? My W came into the bedroom to make love with me before I fell asleep! I was almost shocked! That&#8217;s twice. Now one more sign will clinch it for me. I believe in these run in threes, as it has for me in the past, and I will not consider it coincidence or my wild imagination. I will continue to pray!

I will share it with you a bit later but I can honestly say, I too lost my faith when I lost myself, but I have it back and I prayed hard for strength and for this marriage to be saved. I was the one that betrayed my husband. I fessed up to him, ended contact with the other man, and have since been in recovery.<p>I prayed day and night and my prayers were answered. They really were and at a time when I really thought all was lost. <p>I also prayed for the Lord to put good people in my life to help me with this as I didn't feel my counselor understood. A few days later, I came across this site and a group of people that came to my rescue. I'm feeling better. It will take time but I feel like I'm not alone any longer.