Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#341413 05/10/02 04:21 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
I have had the most awful news.<p>I received at letter from Paul solicitors saying that he wanted a divorce
which is what I expected (although it is not at all what I want). But also
with the letter it told me Paul was planning on moving to the US with his
new partner (who lives over there), this came a such a shock. Then reading
further on he said that he wanted to take our son with him to move to the
US, and in the letter it said Jake wanted to go and that Paul had talked to
him a month ago about this and again at the weekend. I felt like my heart
had been ripped out of my body! But now I understand Jake wants to keep
both Paul and me happy. This woman has a child of her own and I wonder if
she would like me to want to take away her daughter. No where in the letter
did it say Paul wanted to take our daughter.<p>I have since found out that this woman came over from the US to see Paul
about six weeks ago. Even though Paul told me she was coming over at the
end of the year but to be honest I didn't believe that, but I told Paul I
did not want the kids meeting her. But six weeks ago he took her to meet
Jake from school and they all went out for a meal together, which she paid
for! I have also found out that she is paying for Paul to move to the US
because he has no money he has just gone bankrupt.<p>And what hurts as well is Jake lied to me, cos I always ask questions like
had he spoke to her, cos Paul had him talking to her on the phone. So I
guess you could say "no" I am not alright. I feel like my heart is breaking
because I still love my husband with all this he is doing to me and I don't
why! I have really wondered where God has been in all this, and I am scared
of being forced into divorce and having to fight to keep my son now.

#341414 05/11/02 05:30 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
You are in my prayers. I cannot see a judge allowing a father to separate a family and on top of that allowing the father to take a child out of the country. You didnt say what country you live in but my sister-in-law lives in Ontario and is separated from her husband (from another country) and the courts granted her ownership of her child's passport as she was afraid he would escape with the child to Brazil. I hope you have a good lawyer that will work for you.<p>Fight for your children to stay with you. The courts always seem partial to the mother. If you have the children and your husband flees to the U.S., then sooner or later he will miss them greatly and want to return.<p>Just give it to God, trust that he is in control, and all things will work out. Proverbs 3:5<p>Don't be too concerned that your children might lie to you. They are torn right now between you and your husband. They love both of you and in their little minds are so confused and want to please you.<p>My Ex has been with the OW 1.5 years and he starts councilling on Tuesday and says he misses the family and is in the most miserable stage of his life. I need prayers also. This could be a turning point.<p>God bless you,
Kim....

#341415 05/11/02 05:32 PM
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,906
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,906
Faith-hope-love,
Listen to Moving Forward...she is giving you good advice.<p>I am so sorry things seem to have turned so horribly wrong. Have you ever heard Joyce Meyer? She says something I have CLUNG TO all these months! She says that when you pray for someone to change, they usually get worse before they get better!! That is a good time to Praise God!! <p>She says that happens cause the Holy Spirit is convicting them, and they are resisting!! But we all know no one can resist the Lord forever if he wants you! Sooo, Praise Him when you can see things turning....even tho it seems they are turning worse! It proves God is Working!<p>I will be praying that the Lord will block any attempt to take your son. Moving, I will pray for your situation, too!! Your H needs to face his misery (of his own making) and DECIDE to "fix" his thinking and his life decisions.<p>May God Bless you both.

#341416 05/11/02 06:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
Thank you MovingForward and lupolady<p>I live in the UK, I am hoping and praying that my husband does not manage to take my son to the US. I feel the courts will rule in my favour, but I also know what bad luck I have!!<p>Yes, I have seen Joyce Meyer on tv once she is brilliant. I am really hoping my prayers and the prayers from other people are helping. I still have faith I don't think that will ever go, no matter how I say "why". Everyone please keep praying for me and my family and I will keep praying for all of you, lets hope all our prayers are answered.<p>God Bless

#341417 05/16/02 10:23 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
Please keep praying for me. Even though things seems so bad, I still want my marriage. My husband says he will never come home to me. Is that satan talking or him? Should I give up as he has this other woman? Am I mad?

#341418 05/17/02 01:25 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1
J
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1
Good afternoon, Faith-hope-love;
My prayers are with you. After nine years, my wife had an affair, and then moved in with a co-worker. I refused to let the OM come around the children, and even petitoned for a restraining order keeping him away.
My wife has since moved in with her brother, not being able to see the children much has really been eating at her. She misses them. There are folks all over the country who are interceding for us, not for her to come home right now, but rather we will be restored. I want to have the home and family the Lord intended.
I reccommend you begin to truly forgive him, and help your children forgive him, too. The enemy is busting a gut to tear families apart, and it is so easy when we let him.
May your days go much easier, now. May the God of peace bless you with His.

#341419 05/19/02 05:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by jilm2:
[QB]I want to have the home and family the Lord intended.
[QB]<hr></blockquote><p>Your above quote is what I want too with all my heart. You are so right about the enemy he is busting a gut to tear families apart, and it is so easy when we let him. Thank you for sharing your story with me, I will be praying for you!

#341420 05/21/02 04:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
Think I am understanding things a little better now. Please pray for my husband to hear the Lord calling him, pray that my husband can no longer hear Satan and that he stops following Satans ways. I pray that my husband returns to Christ then I know he will return home to me and his family.

#341421 05/25/02 07:55 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,143
Never give up!<p>Let the Lord lead your way!<p>May God bless you and your family.<p>Stay strong!<p>Wallace

#341422 05/26/02 05:44 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
I have been feeling a little numb these last few days! I thought I would always want to work out my marriage but now I am not so sure I can ever trust him again (or for that matter if he would ever come back). Trust and faithfullness are so important to me and he has broke both of them.<p>I still love my husband, but I don't know if God is wanting me to let go!

#341423 05/26/02 11:54 PM
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 290
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 290
I don't know whether or situations are parallel enough that this will help or not:<p>Some of what I have had to learn is
1) God is in control.
2) I am a wimp.
3) There is no "magic" formula that if I do x, WH will give her up.
4) I must just let God work in WH's heart.
5) I can't love and trust by myself
6) I am WH's WIFE. God has given me the important job of loving and trsting and caring for WH. God will give me the strength to do this even in this situation.
7) I have the awesome opportunity to let God love WH throgh me, as God does, no strings attached, no expectations. <p>Take whatever helps.

#341424 05/31/02 04:48 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
I don't know why but my husband had dropped trying to take our son to the US, and dropped trying to get custardy of him. Apparantly he is still going to the US, so I guess his new girlfriend is more important to him than his kids. But I thank the Lord for this, I was so stressed cried for 2 hours after I had talked to my solicitor today, the relief was amazing! I still love my husband, but guess he is in God's hands now.

#341425 06/02/02 02:49 AM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 65
Dear F-H-L
I am so happy to hear that God has answered your prayers. We just need to trust God to take over our husbands and let God work on their hearts. I am sure once your husband moves to the U.S. and all the infatuation wears off with this woman, he will come to his senses. He is sure taking a big risk for a woman he hardly knows and to move so far from his son, I find hard to believe.<p>I moved here to the U.S. with my husband for his career and then he left us for OW. I have debated about going home but the kids wouldnt have their father so it is tough being here alone in this country.
God bless you, Kim..

#341426 06/03/02 08:05 AM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
F
Member
OP Offline
Member
F
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 104
Even with my good news, about my husband dropping trying to take our son to the US, I am still feeling down. One reason is because my husband and I have two children, but he only wanted to take our son with him, our daughter doesn't seem to matter to him "she won't have anything to do with him cos he hit her". But surely he should be trying to mend his relationship with her. The other reason is, I guess I am wondering if God is going to heal or marriage, or if he will get his divorse and move to the US and I will never see him again. How do I know what is God's will? He never seems to talk to me and these days I am finding it hard. Any idea's? <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" /> <img src="graemlins/teary.gif" border="0" alt="[Teary]" />

#341427 06/08/02 09:45 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9
T
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 9
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> How do I know what is God's will?<hr></blockquote>
If it lines up with the Word of God, it is His will. For example, in Malachi the Word says God hates divorce. God is the author of marriage, and it is His will that marriage be saved.<p>Sometimes we have to go through a tremendously hard trial in order to have a God-filled glorious marriage restored. Please remember though that God promises us that he will never leave us or forsake us. Sometimes it appears as though things are going all wrong when in reality God is working everything out for our good and His glory. <p>How I know it is God's will for marriages to be restored is that His Word tells us "what God has joined together let no man separate". In my case He used our separation to cause dramatic changes in both of us and when He restored our marriage it was a "suddenly" and is far better than it has ever been. God can do far more than we could ever imagine. <p>FHL, let the Father love you right now. Pray and believe. Believe and you shall receive. <p>I'm praying for you.<p>God bless.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 19 guests, and 90 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Overcomer4513, caraduke, Convict20, GTNY, Avianna
71,737 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,550
Posts2,322,810
Members71,737
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5