My friends,<p>I guess I've hit "a wall" of some sort. <p>I've been kind of in a slump the last day or two. I think it's probably related to the fact that our "final decree" hearing before the judge is coming up on the 26th. I guess the "reality" of the situation is hitting me squarely between the eyes.<p>Strangely enough, neither of us has to attend. A judge simply gathers up all our papers, and signs on the bottom line, and "declares" our M over. Sad, but true. Kinda anti-climactic, really.<p>Nonetheless, it means the end of the M.<p>I am sad. Truly sad. Almost depressed. I have been having victory over my feelings, but the reality of this is pulling me totally down. I don't like it here. It is dark and lonely and sad, and I feel like I just want to stop breathing.<p>Please pray for me. I would ask for a miracle, but I'm not even sure I believe any more that one could come.<p>Thanks, everyone.

((((Lupo))): you are such an inspiration--you have given and given to others here. Thank you for the times you have prayed for me. I will be praying for you over this time. <p>Father, please envelop Lupo in Your awesome love. Only You can ease the pain and sorrow at a time like this. Your Word promises strength for our weakness and You promise that YOU will never forsake or abandon us. Let Your love be tangible in these days and carry Lupo through. Father, I pray you will bring those blessings that will keep her faith renewed and that You will bless her with "hugs" from You--those special moments that we know You are sending special signs of Your love.<p>(((Lupo))) please take care.

Dear Lupo, you are in my prayers always. I know what your feeling all too well. Still its all in Gods hands and if its any consulation, most judges from what Im learning, are operating illegally without Oaths. No kidding.
God can raise the dead. I have recently myself actually tried my hardest to just give up... My situation is beyond hopeless, well beyond. A marriage under the state doesnt matter to God. He sees the heart, and your WH divorced you when he left. I really dont have many answers. All I can say is let nothing move you and rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Try to get your focus off WH for now and draw near to the Lord. It will all turn out the way THE LORD GOD wants it too. Thats the truth.
Mark

(((Lupo))),
I am not always here, but I want you to know that you helped me through a hard time in my life and YOU ARE a VERY SPECIAL person to God and to us here. No matter what happens God will be the one who gets you through.<p>Father, I pray that you be with Lupo at this very moment and fill her heart and life with your presence, your joy, and your peace. We believe that there is still time to restore this marriage and we ask you for this prodigal H to come home. Life is not easy Lord, we don't understand why things happen in our lives but we know that you are in control. So as Lupo feels out of control let her KNOW that she is in your hand and that you will never let her go, and that you will never abandon her. You are good Lord, we submit this couple to you. In Jesus Name. Amen and Amen.<p>May Gods sweet blessings surround you,
knight

Sounds like you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death right now, but the Lord is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. {{{{HUGS}}}}<p>Your H's will was involved in this whole decision and God will not override our human will. If he didn't want to stay married, no prayer would overrule his "want to," ya know? That's the reality. It doesn't mean anything about your faith is flawed. It doesn't mean you don't have victory either.<p>If God is for us, who can be against us? You have the victory regardless. The game is not over. Maybe the enemy gets an inning or two, but WE WIN the game. You'll make it through this. God is on the spot, not you, nor your faith. He will continue to give you enough grace for today and faith for right now. That's all you need to survive--just get from moment to moment...<p>Will keep praying for your H--that God would grant to him the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him; the eyes of his understanding being enlightened, that he may know what is the hope of God's calling; and what are the riches of the glory of God's inheritance in the saints...<p>The worse thing that could happen to us all really, is DIE and go to heaven! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Hang in there, lupo, I know you will! God is the lifter of our heads. You will make a huge comeback from all of this! God will see to it!

Everyone, thank you so much for your prayers! It's been a long time since I felt that "low." I really don't know what came over me. I guess I allowed myself to really LOOK at my circumstances, and then the LIES came in...."You can't really believe you're going to be all right NO MATTER WHAT!??!"<p>I will not listen any longer. I KNOW God will provide for me. I KNOW my Lord loves and protects me, I AM HIS CHILD!!<p>FS, Thank you for your kind words, and lovely prayer. I take great solace in your words and prayers. I KNOW you are a true woman of God.<p>Mark, It's good to hear from you, my friend. I was beginning to worry about you! As usual, you have come to MY rescue. I continue to pray for YOU, too!<p>Knight, your prayer made me cry!! Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers, even in the midst of your OWN trials.<p>BINthereDUNthat Thank you for pointing out that I AM in a "shadow" of sorts. Everything around me looked dark, and foreboding. I am snapping out of it now, though. I KNOW it grieved the Lord for me to be in that pit I was in.....I KNOW He wants me to continue to Praise Him and Trust Him! He told me so just this morning.<p>I will be OK, and I have YOU GUYS to thank for it!! Thank you all so much. <p>May our God bless you richly for GIVING to me, and may we Bless Him for His gifts to us out of His riches in Glory.<p>Amen.<p>[ June 21, 2002: Message edited by: lupolady ]</p>

Lupo,
you and I are on the same time line of all this and it is still EARLY to declare victory or defeat. One thing is sure is that your love, your sense of humor, your persistence helped me and all of us who visit the forum. A lot of people don't reply but they read and they pray for you and you are NOT alone.<p>I'm so glad to see your second post that you pulled yourself out of it. Let's all pray that somehow, some way the judge DOESN'T grant that divorce.<p>Yet even if he does - don't you know how many people remarry the same partner? Jesus didn't accept divorce. So the one who counts the most doesn't care what the judge says - He considers you married.<p>I am marking that day - June 26 - on my calendar and I will pray that the judge does SOMETHING to mess this up.<p>Whatever happens, you keep your Bible out and OPEN in your house.<p>We are with you, sweetie!! You are so great and so much fun even in your pain.<p>Hang in there -
Love,
Trying

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tryingtohope:
<strong> A lot of people don't reply but they read and they pray for you and you are NOT alone.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Thanks for this. It helps to know this. I mean, I KNOW it, but it's gotta be said over and over for me!! (I'm a little "slow on the up-take" ya know what I mean?) [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I am marking that day - June 26 - on my calendar and I will pray that the judge does SOMETHING to mess this up.<p>Whatever happens, you keep your Bible out and OPEN in your house.<p>We are with you, sweetie!! </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Awwwwwwwww, Trying, aren't you sweet?!?! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
YUP, my Bible is ALWAYS open....and usually there is some TV station or radio station playing PRAISE and WORSHIP music going.<p>Interesting thing went through my mind last week: There actually IS one little piece of paperwork that my H HAS NOT taken care of, that was supposed to be taken care of before the granting of the Decree (I WON'T say the word). I'm kinda wondering if that WILL "hold things up?" I'm not gonna hold my breath or anything (I got OUT of that mood in a hurry!!!), but it would be interesting if this happened b/c of that little piece of paper.<p>All the same, I won't "hold God to that" - since HIS PLAN is obviously much BETTER than anything I could devise!!!!!<p><strong> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Yet even if he does - don't you know how many people remarry the same partner? Jesus didn't accept divorce. So the one who counts the most doesn't care what the judge says - He considers you married.<hr></blockquote></strong><p> Exactly!!!<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> Let's all pray that somehow, some way the judge DOESN'T grant that divorce.</strong><hr></blockquote>
I would shamelessly solicit EVERYONE's prayers next Wednesday!! (1:30 EDT - 12:30 CDT) If we can TURN THIS THING on its ear with our prayers that God would NOT allow the judge to sign that paper, wouldn't that just be something!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>"Nevertheless, not my will, Lord....."<p>One final note here:<p>You kinda have to have been following my "story" all along to see how SIGNIFICANT this development is......<p>I invited some friends to come visit me during vacation if they cared to. This woman and I have been friends for about 30 years. Well, I DO love her to pieces, I REALLY do!!! HOWEVER, her faith has never really grown much beyond our initial days. I know I'm not saying this properly. I DO know she Loves the Lord. I DO KNOW she is saved, and follows Jesus. I guess a better word is "rigid." Yeah, that's it. She's "rigid" in her interpretation of some Biblical truths (she can't help it, she still attends the same church we were "born" in, and it's pretty rigid in its beliefs).<p>OK, that's pretty much the groundwork. I love her deeply, and we have remained friends for all this time, even tho we have "grown apart." Well, ALL THROUGH ALL THIS, as I have searched the scriptures, and become convinced that Divorce IS NOT God's Way, SHE has been telling me that It's OK!!! "After all, HE COMMITTED ADULTERY!!!!" (like somehow I missed this point) [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well, for those who are still reading, and who have "been here" all through all the meetings with my H, of which there have ONLY been - what? Three? Two? In 13 months? NOT MANY. Well, just before every meeting I have had with my H (which have always turned out well, BTW), this woman has ended up calling me. Of course, HER ADVICE each time has been the same:<p>"I wouldn't talk to him or see him if I were you. HE COMMITTED ADULTERY!! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I would just DIVORCE HIM!!!"<p>So I would go into the meeting w/him kind of "confused" as to how I should be treating him. Sort of feeling like what she was suggesting was right, then feeling like, "God doesn't WANT ME to talk Divorce!! God has given me GREAT tools, like MB to help fix our problems...." I got to the point where I began to believe this dear friend of mine was being used as a tool of the devil to confuse and depress me!!! <p>Waaaal, (hang on, I'm almost done), guess what?!?!?! OK, so you remember June 26th? The Final Decree Day? Well, this woman called me the other night (the night after "melt-down") and says that they are taking me up on my offer to come and visit! GUESS WHAT DAY they are coming?!?!?<p>You guessed it! On Wednesday, June 26!!! PTL <p>Since satan is so busy, can it be God is working, or what?!?!?!?!<p>\o/

I love your attitude Lupo.<p>12:30 CST is on my calender, I will be praying in the meantime.<p>I have even had pastors, though well intentioned, tell me to D. Though he, this one in particular, was younger than I and single he had a different attitude. I tried to show him the scriptures I was holding onto also but he couldn't get past the adultery either. You are on the right track sticking with God like you are.<p>My prayers are with you,
knight

Knight,
Thanks for the compliment! I was just trying to "paint a clear picture for ya!"<p>Anyway, I will rest easier knowing my friends are praying for us on Wed.<p>Know, too, that I am continually praying for healing for your DW.<p>God Bless,

Oh well, the "bright" side of your friend's visit is that she certainly won't be condemning you for getting divorced!<p>WE know it was/is against your beliefs and your will, and GOD knows your heart--this is what's most important... That you can cast the whole of this burden on HIM because HE cares for you and HE knows you.<p>His yoke is easy and His burden is light--His burden is meekness and humility. YOU WILL be just fine! Enjoy your friend and maybe try to keep it light and dwell on other topics of discussion! There are so many other things you can talk about!!! ya know??? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

lupo and others, may I share something that my pastor was just shown. in the world all we have is hope, we buy a lottery ticket and get to hope for a couple days. when all hope is gone then we have hopelessness, and that is it its over. as a christian when all hope is gone (everything we see with our natural eyes says give up) remember Job's friends and wife? When all hope is gone then we can step to a higher level FAITH. I never really understood faith before as i did not have to believe in somthing so hopeless. NOW we can walk in faith! our God loves to work in the impossible. I also do not see free will in the scriptures butI do see gods will over 70 times. Pray for Gods will. I know my self the battle is with my emotions, I want to quit daily and end this pain, But I must stand for my family and trust in my God.

Dear Lupo,
I just got back from our annual church campout and read your message. I'm one of those who don't reply to often but read and pray for those I can.
You are one of those I have followed and prayed for many times.
I cried and cried when I read your message. I'm still crying. I know I shouldn't be because I know the Lord will do what's best for you regardless of the outcome but I'll be praying that somehow he prevents the divorce from going through.
I also know that if He allows it that He will be there with you.
One of my biggest fears when I was going through the waiting time, was that if my husband chose to divorce me and it was granted inspite of my protest is that I would become bitter with the Lord. But He kept reminding me that my husband had the free will to choose which way he wanted to go, God's way or his own. And that it was my choice too to remain faithful no matter what to Him or choose to become bitter. I had to remember that regardless of the Judges' decision, I was to remain single and live the life the Lord wanted me to live. I didn't know if I'd be the one He"d chose to stand for my marriage for 20 years and finally remarry him some day or if He was going to show me that I could live as a single person and be totally fulfilled without being married or just what he wanted for me. All I knew is that this time, I was going to "trust" Him for however it turned out.
I feel so blessed to have read your encouraging words to others in the past. But I have to tell you, I am blown away by the way you are handling everything "in the midst of it all". I thank God for you Lupo and for your witness. I love your sense of humor, honesty, and your openess about how you feel at the time as you work through each emotional event.
Lord, Lupo has been such an ispiration to me and to so many others here. You know what she needs and is prepared to handle, and what her hopes are.
You have said, "I know the plans I have for you.... "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and pray to me and I will listen to you."
We are claiming that promise for her today Lord. And Lord we are also keeping hope for the restoration of their marriage even at this time because we know that You are....
"able to do immeasuraby more than all we ask or imagine, according to [Your] power that is at work within us," to You, "be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" May you recieve the glory for all You're going to do in Lupo and through her.
Thank you for the blessing she's been to us and bless her, walk with her & encourage her. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

BinThere....
You don't know my friend!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] She is gonna want to stay up ALL NIGHT "talking" (about you-know-who!! The good side of this is that I WILL be able to explain to her about my STAND for my M (which few friends/family can understand).<p>Chris, thank you for your encouraging words. Now, I would like to offer some encouragement for you! I am learning that what helps me the most is keeping the "attitude" positive!! Praising God is the BEST way to maintain the proper attitude. He LOVES to see us with glad hearts and positive attitudes. God can ONLY work in our hearts when we keep them full of Him, and proclaiming His Good works constantly. It has brought me PEACE and deepened my faith. I'll be praying for YOU!<p>ONTHEMEND:
Thanks for the prayers! Your response made ME cry!!! And so did your prayer.<p>Ah!! The "old Free Will" debate surfaces its head once again. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I really dont' want to "go there." Just pointing out that this debate occurs about once a month on somebody's thread.<p>Isn't it amazing how we can EACH read the same Bible, and "see" that issue so totally differently? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thank you ALL so much for your friendship to me. You have NO idea how this gladens my heart, and makes me feel LOVED. Isn't our Lord GOOD!?

Yup. Every day is a new adventure!<p>I got home this evening, and my attorney had called....seems HIS attorney had called MY attorney asking that *I* please bring my H's "family heirloom" (which is still in my possession, since my H FAILED to locate it to take with him when he made his HASTY retreat) to his attorney's office asap (presumably before court time Wed.).<p>I was pretty sure I wasn't going to comply with that request. After all, why are they waiting till the LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT, plus HE hadn't signed off on his interest in the "marital home," which he had agreed to do.....soooooooooo, I was ALL SET to be "too busy" to do this tomorrow. Sorry!<p>Waaal, my WH called me tonight! HE called to ask me for the same request! Can I please bring the "family heirloom" to his attorney's office? I requested of HIM that HE sign off on the house paperwork, as HE agreed to. HE says, "Yes, I've got that with me, and I will bring that tomorrow...."<p>Oh. OK.<p>Sooooooooo, I then (probably a LB) mentioned that it seemed he was doing ALL HE COULD to never have to set eyes on me again (he denied it - but that dog just won't hunt), he just said he wanted to "get this over with, my attorney has dragged his feet for a year." Whatever.<p>Sooooooooo, bottom line (I'm not really feeling much like verbosity tonight [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ) is that HE will be "over here" tomorrow with MY signed paperwork. I will drop off his "family heirloom" to his attorney sometime prior to that time.<p>HE will go to court and sign his papers and get HIS decree.<p>And that will be that.<p>STILL soliciting your prayers. I know we probably don't have a snowball's chance of stopping this tomorrow, BUT I am praying that God will mightily USE THIS EVENT to turn the tide, and begin to TOUCH my H's heart. My emotions are swinging all over the place. Praising God one minute, crying hysterically the next. I guess this is "normal."<p>If you could have heard his voice, his ANGER, his confusion, his gentleness, you would KNOW, as I know, that he doesn't have a clue what he is doing, or why.

Lupo,
know that my prayers are with you this day, only the Lord knows what is going to happen today, so trust Him.<p>Blessings to you,
knight

Hi lupolady,
I read your post last night and today I prayed for pens with no ink, gusts of wind to scatter papers, cramps in that judge's hands, anything to throw a wrench in that paperwork. You're an amazing person to stand for your marriage in the face of such odds. Wishing all good things for you.

lupo,
I ahve read alot of your post and I want you to know that reading about your hope and faith for your marriage to survive is one of the reason's I keep believing that my H and I have a chance. I pray alot and keep a lot of hope.<p>I hope today was a good day for you and that the courts did not grant your divorce, if they did do not give up hope. In gods eyes we are always married- there is no divorce!! That means there is hope if you want their to be hope!!!

Dear Lupo, Your doing fine and its all still In Gods Hands.... What a WM wants the most is us to accept their program instead of Gods. They believe that will finally give them peace. If we give up it will justify their choices in other words. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] But we wont do that for them. we are here to follow Jesus. Not the enemies wish's.
During the times when my WW was stable she would share with me the torment she went thru because no matter what I still loved her and wont give up. She's back running again and will acually call me and tell me how miserable she is. No, I dont get why she has to do this all over again. It gets worse everytime for her. I dont know what its going to take this time. I dont mean to sound vengful, but as long as we stand, they will never find any peace, joy nor happiness in their lives, no matter how hard they try. It all comes down to turning their lives to or back to the Lord. Thats the bottom line. What I have seen in with my WW is a lot like Jonah running from God as far as he could. I think we all know what happened to him...
Our situations can also cause us to do the same, as I am guilty of doing in my walk during the last 4 years. I have ran at times. Im kinda doing it again to be honest. All I know at this point is Its going to go the way God wants it to go reguardless of myself or my WW.
I sometimes try to put myself in the other shoes. I cant imagine how awful it would feel to know you left someone whom loves you so much and no matter what they still do. That would haunt me.
You are always in my prayers. Be still and know whom your God really is.
Mark

Dear brothers and sisters,
Wow is all I can say. It is truly amazing to come back to this site and see all the people who are "pulling" for me!!

I am truly humbled when I read all your posts to me. I am crying, but not out of sadness, but because of YOUR faith in God and your help in holding ME up before our Lord.

lonesome heart: I had to laugh when I read about your prayer! Thank you so much for your heart-felt goodness and intentions of stopping the paper-signing. I have to tell you, though, that my H had made up his mind several months before that he NEEDED this "paper" to make him free. I had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it HAS TO HAPPEN in order for him to realize this WILL NOT make him free!! Nor happy. When we went to the Mediation, I could hear it in his voice, the urgency, the push to MAKE THIS HAPPEN AS SOON AS POSSIBLE for his own happiness. Like somehow I was stopping his happiness?? Well, it was at that time that I *knew* God was going to let this happen just so He could "teach my H" the real source of happiness. Married to me, or not married to me, or married to someone else, WON'T make or take away his pain.....that has to come from his own relationship with the Lord. My H has IGNORED that fact for too long now, and as long as he keeps running from that truth, he WON'T FIND THE HAPPINESS HE'S SEEKING!!

In all honesty, though, I DON'T HAVE A CLUE what happened in court yesterday! I'm sure I'll get a copy of whatever "papers" were signed yesterday eventually. Couldn't care less. They are "just" pieces of paper, signed by an EARTHLY judge, trying to OVERRULE the Judge of the Universe?!?!?!? I don't think so.

Lostpup, YOU KNOW what I'm talking about as far as our S's running away to somehow run from their own pain. Your W is doing the same thing. I pray it won't take my H as long as it's taken your W, but it could. I continue to hold her up before the Lord, and ask Him to shorten the time you have to be apart. It is truly a testimony to YOUR faithfulness that you have "stood in the gap" for as long as you have.

tldennet, thank you for your response. When I first got here, I didn't think there was much hope, either.....However, there were others before ME who had hope, held on, and God began to work a miracle in their M's. That gave me the "hope" to hang on, and begin to actually believe IT COULD HAPPEN!!! I am still doing that, obviously, and I'm glad to help someone else "hang on" too!

In fact, just last night (the VERY DAY of the signing), at church, our pastor was preaching about "Integrity" and at the end, went off on a tangent, and ended up talking about MARRIAGE!! I don't have any idea what that had to do with his message, but he's truly "led by God" so I beleive God had a "Message" for me last night!! He said, "If you are M, God wants you to stay that way.....HE gave you the H or W you have. And even if He didn't and you went OUTSIDE His Will in who you married, HE INTENDS YOU TO MAKE IT WORK NOW. There is NO breaking of M. Covenant, it's not like a contract, that one party can break if the other party doesn't "live up to his part.....""

Folks, that was exactly what I needed to hear. I have been believing God was telling me that very thing.....THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS DIVORCE IN GOD'S WORLD. I am believing it, I am believing God is going to raise my "dead M" up from the ashes, and "fix" this, and I am willing to STAND and continue to believe that for AS LONG AS HE TELLS ME TO.

Of course, many, many people tell me I'm NUTS. They tell me, "You must move on......get a new guy......" Like that's an option?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, I just let them talk, and then politely thank them, and tell them that God intends to perform a miracle in my life, so they can just wait on the sidelines to see it! They usually figure it's time to quit the conversation then. BUT I KNOW WHAT I KNOW!! And I know God wants to perform Miracles to show His Glory and Power to a dying world. I WILL hang onto that.

With a crew like YOU GUYS praying for me, HOW COULD IT NOT HAPPEN!?!?!?

Thank everyone of you again, for your prayers and positive attitudes. WE WILL SHOW OURSELVES APPROVED by believing in His Word. HIS WAYS ARE PERFECT.

May God Bless each and every one of you.