A lot of betrayers have said that during the affair the OP seemed perfect, and could do no wrong. What about during a normal relationship? Is this characteristic of affairs in particular, or when people are "in love" is it typical to believe the other person is perfect? How many of you felt that way about your spouses at one time? I certainly never thought my spouse was perfect, but I loved him anyway. I never expected him to be perfect.

i think that in the beginning of a relationship we tend to only see the wonderful qualities of the other person, and after a while reality sets in. i always believed my h was perfect for me. i knew his faults and taken with his good points they spelled perfect husband. now that is not so. i have to work to see his good points, because his unfaithfulness is a big thing about him that i obviously don't like.<BR> i asked him if he though the ow was perfect (when i read this post) and he said no way, but her glaring imperfections made him feel superior which built his ego, which i, with all my "perfection", could not do. does that make sense?<BR> i think that just like we know our kids are not perfect, but love them to peices anyway--that's how we view our lovers---ours---perfect. when it comes to an affair- the person is running away from something or looking for something and the fantasy will not last, they eventually realize that perfection does not exist.