Just asking prayer because I've had a very bad day. My family have been awesome trying to support me and it's nothing serious. Just one of those horrible days when nothing goes right.<p>I went to work a half hour late, got yelled at by a colleague in front of another staff and kids (for trying to be helpful) and then scolded by our receptionist for not staying for lunch. I didn't want to face Staff #1 at lunch and called my H crying asking to meet him for lunch.<p>I have been volunteering at this little chapel in a mall a few times. The first two times it was so slow. Today I listened to a crazy man most of the time I was there. My reason for volunteering was that I hoped to meet people from all over the world and be able to pray and share the gospel freely. I know street people with mental illnesses need God's love, too but how am I helping by listening to a schizophrenic vary between telling me he is Jesus and Satan is his best friend? <p>I am feeling very vulnerable tonight. I know it can be slow here on weekends but even a little prayer would really help me.<p>I am also stressed because I'm finding it so hard adjusting to being a pastor's wife and refusing to mould myself to others' expectations. The ladies at church that were my friends until H joined as associate pastor think I want space but I am so lonely. I need fellowship with other women right now.<p>I have to prepare a Sunday School lesson for 15--that was a nasty surprise this week--finding out no one had asked her abilities to teach and there is no material for her to use and her teen partner is fairly new to the church, let alone teaching Sunday School. (I know..I said that backwards...theme of the day!)<p>As you can see, it's nothing serious..just feel like I'm snowed under and wondering if maybe I'm just a dummy. Sorry for the self-pity. <p>On the bright side, my Mom sent me a beautiful email with the most wonderful pictures of Jesus I have ever seen--He is laughing and smiling and cuddling babies and playing with children. I cried with joy at how beautiful those pictures are!<p>Thanks for letting me vent.

FS,<p>Hmmmm, Kinda sounds like what I was going through the other day. Think it's "something in the air?"<p>Like: SUNSPOTS or something? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>YOU KNOW I will pray your week gets better. I always appreciate your helpfulness to me, I am hoping I can reciprocate.<p>As far as this poor chap:
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
I know street people with mental illnesses need God's love, too but how am I helping by listening to a schizophrenic vary between telling me he is Jesus and Satan is his best friend? <hr></blockquote>
Just remember: "Inasmuch as ye do it unto the least of these....."<p>YOUR job (as a Christian) is simply do what Jesus would do unto them. You can do that! That's all that is required of you. Show them love. If listening to this poor schizo guy made him feel the love of Jesus, even if just for a few minutes, then that is all Jesus asked you to do.<p>Well, I don't know what to tell you about the other women at the church, having never been in that sitch....<p>I would think it would be best if you sought out "friendships" from other sources? Women friends from OUTSIDE of the church? Probably best to keep your friendships (and deepest secrets) out of the hearing of parishioners at your new church. <p>I KNOW it's hard to settle into a new role, new home, new job, etc. I'm so sorry it all hit you at once. YOu are doing fantastic!! Hang in there, GIRLFRIEND!!! You are my hero. You have overcome so much to get where you are.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God Bless YOU!

Sister, you are welcome to come and vent anytime, heck, yo don't even have to feel bad about it. Hey, your human like the rest of us, give yourself a break. As a missionary once told me, you have to enjoy life. <p>I'm sorry, but I got a good chuckle from the schizo guy scenario, been there many times. All we can do is share, it is the Spirits job to change the heart, right?<p>Father be with my dear sister as she fights right now in the spirit, give her the strength and love to fight this battle Lord. She has been an inspiration to so many here, let her feel that she can be real with us, and with you. I ask that you would give her a girlfriend that is exactly the person she needs right now. I also pray that you would fill those fellowships she's involved in with Your love and power, in Jesus name, Amen.<p>I love ya sister, keep up the good work,
knight<p>p.s. don't overwork yourself, its now worth it

Lupo and Knight, you are two of my heroes, too. Thank you!!!<p>I let the family go to youth group without me. Honestly, last night I was very tempted to call up a male friend and ask him to go for a walk. But I knew that would be a big time LB even though H trusts him and he is a good guy. So, I poked around here and decided to try to go to bed early. I laid down about twenty to eight and slept till 5:30 this morning. <p>Knight, you are right about the work thing. It's a major stress as starting tomorrow to next Saturday, my schedule is pretty relentless. And I have to come up with a few more volunteers for a couple events that are creeping up too quickly.<p>Lupo, yes, I do have friends outside the church and actually thanks for the reminder. Some women from my old church (with whom I have healthy relationships, if infrequent contact) have been in touch. I am praising God for one in particular. She called me at work and I found out she will be the head elder in her church--I am absolutely thrilled. This gal just a few years ago was living common-law. A crisis came up and he chose his ex-wife's house over my friend. She repented and got her spiritual act together and just grew more and more on fire for Christ. God led her into an awesome job (through my H's reference!) Yeah!
And other managers at work (all female)--well, it's sooo good!
Knight, it's funny I would get discouraged about that man yesterday. H and I ran a street church for a year and our former denomination attracted many like that dear man. He told me all these horrible lies (and really upset me by making a bizzare sexual accusation against Christ which I thanked him not to continue speaking of) and then about 15 min later came back apologizing for his lies My heart went out to him when he said how good it would be to go to the psychiatric hospital for a rest from all the pressure of street life. He said I helped by listening. I could tell you a few funny stories, too. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] He sure knew his Bible!<p>Today things seem much brighter. I think it's just been so long since I had a bad day that I got sort of spoiled! I also think Satan wanted to punch my lights out yesterday!!! lol Must mean even more great stuff is coming!<p>I should close with a little praise report. Last Sunday rocked big-time!!! The worship team at church are really increasing in confidence in their spiritual gifts. Well, they led us in such anointed worship and suddenly, I'm telling you, JOY broke out like crazy..I emailed our Pastor (Senior Pastor is overseas visiting his relatives) and told him the place went "spiritually nuts with joy." People just had the glory of the Lord shining on their faces and really worshipped and some of us (even this formerly conservative person-me!) danced before the Lord--it was truly a taste of Heaven.<p>Our lead guitarist who is an amazing musician has invited me to write a poem to go with a new song he has been composing!!! <p>The bumps on the ride are no fun but being a Christian is so incredible---to know I can vent the garbage and still be loved by good friends like you guys and receive prayer....God is just TOO good!!! <p>Thanks! I feel better. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Way to go [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm so happy to hear the great things that are going on, you are free to vent here at any time. God IS so good. Its awesome to here that God is doing great things in your church and in YOU! Fall on his eternal love, for He is our rock.<p>Blessings,
knight

Knight, wow! thanks for those powerful prayers. I have to help 15D get a Sunday School lesson together for tomorrow and she only has today to study for her science exam on Monday. I did an online search and found an amazing website with the coolest kid stuff--really fun! I was resenting having to help when I'm maxxed out, too but this will actually be a joy to prepare!<p>Hope things keep getting better for you and your family. How is your W doing? You continue to be in our prayers.

So, what the web site?<p>As long as you asked, my w seems to be doing very well. The kids and I spent the whole day with her, it went well. In the AM we went to a waterski/wakeboard tourney, kinda boring. Then out to lunch, then back home. She washed the clothes she been rewearing the last 2 weeks. We went to the gym and worked out together, it was a blast, we had so much fun. We came home got cleaned up and she packed to go back to the hospital. I was triggering pretty bad, her packing nice clothes doing her hair waxing her legs. She caught on and asked me if I was all right, I explained so she consoled me, which helped. Eating a late dinner she told me she is getting closer to SF, she asked how I felt about that. I'm really nervous actually, almost freaked but I didn't fully share that with her. What was really special for me is that she kept touching me and we kissed maybe 6 times today, things seem to be going well.<p>Sorry for highjacking,
knight

Knight, you didn't highjack--I asked how things are and you shared [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sounds awesome! <p>The website is called Kidology and it has some free stuff with really fun ideas. Actually, 15 feels confident that she and her partner came up with enough of a plan on Friday night at youth group. I don't so I'm bringing a few resources for them. The website has puppet plays, stories, games and you can join for a relatively inexpensive fee (info overload--might only cost a dollar? but I don't remember)<p>Your news about your W sounds awesome. Just keep praying for when your W is ready for SF. Sounds like she is doing great. I remember being so plagued with guilt in the early days that I had to push myself to shower each day and remember to work on my appearance for H. <p>I'm sorry for the triggers--it's quite understandable after all you've been through. So good that you could share openly and be comforted by your W. That's a very encouraging sign.<p>Hope today goes well. It's going to be long and involve driving from north end to downtown, to west end, back to north end to east end. Ugh! Sr Pastor sometimes loaned his vehicle to this family in the church who have a very unreliable old van and a big family. H offered that we would try to take some of them to the church picnic (originally returning back to our neighbourhood was not in the plans but they live close to our home) since we have 2 cars. We won't lend * our car as he tends to drive the snot out of his own--hence his troubles. Actually, that man could really use prayer. His W is pregnant--due any day and he foolishly commented at Bible Study how no women can resist him. (Which is not true!) His W is a lovely godly girl and I hate hearing him disrespect her like that. <p>Anyway, keep me posted on your sitch. God is answering prayer. Think of all those discouraging hours when you just weren't sure and then look what He is doing for you today. He is AWESOME!!<p>Bless you, Knight!

Thanks Fresh, can I call you fresh? J/K<p>Today actually the Dr gave the orders for her to be sent home but at discharge the nurse was asking ?s for her discharge. W answers left nurse uncomfortable to send her home so she called Dr and explained what was going on, he reversed his decision. Though I am excited for the day she comes home, I don't think she is ready yet, she doesn't either. She still has frequent suicidal thoughts so it would not be healthy for her to come home yet. I brought some pics she asked for and she said it meant a lot to her that I took the time to bring them to her, 1/2 hr minimum one way. <p>There is this young guy who just came in, a real jerk. My w is playing all nice to him because hes got issues too. I told her that she didn't need to stand for his crap, tho it was hard for her to hear she knows that she gets herself into trouble that way.<p>knight

(((Knight))): stand your ground with your W. We'll be praying she doesn't take pity on the jerk. <p>You have really done incredibly well to more than survive this ordeal. It's going to be soo good to have her home--it's so cool listening to your anticipation--almost like you are dating again, feeling pleased that she kissed you, etc. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thank God for the astute nurse who realized your W has some further work to do. May the Holy Spirit increase His healing work in her mind and heart and bring her the peace that passes understanding promised to us. Keep your eye on the day she returns home and keep up the awesome love and support you are giving her now. God has given her back to you. <p>You are one amazing man. May the Lord bless you for your model of faithfulness and perseverance.<p>Hee hee--I guess I'd prefer you call me Fresh than Stale! Freshie would be a fun handle. I just wanna be fresh in my experience Christ all the time! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Ok, Freshie [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thanks for your kind words. I brought some pics by for her yesterday morn, I showed up when she was talking to therapist. They were just talking about incident with the jerk, the therapist supported me telling w that she didn't need to take his crap. She told w that it was ok to "rock the boat", since she has a habit to conform to others and have compassion on them, now she doesn't have to. [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>She did a self analysis yesterday, describe the events of her life to the girls in her group. Emotionally draining vocalizing all the joys and sorrows of life. w has been through a lot, she has a lot of pent up emotions, so we will see how this helps.<p>Blessings to you,
knight