My husband and I have been married for 24 years. The first 6 were terrible. He drank, drugged, and had several flings. But I was stubborn and hung in there. When I was pregnant with our 2nd daughter, he went to treatment. She is 18 now and these last years, while not perfect, have been good. He has been a good husband. Always attentive, loving, romantic, great lover. We have had tough times, but have been committed to stick it out. This last 2 years have been tough as we went through a drug episode with our daughter, my husband lost his state job, went to work at a psych hospital for children, which he loves/hates. He has been rather depressed this summer and seemed to spend late hours on the internet. A couple of weeks ago he told me he felt he had fallen out of love with me and when our youngest graduated (2 years) he wanted to split. I have really wrestled with how he could be as loving as he has consistently been and fall out of love with me at the drop of a hat. He began to see a counselor, but still wanted out of the relationship. I told him I wasn't giving up-I had 2 years to try to rekindle his love -which I was not convinced was gone. He proceeded to tell me that he had ended a 4 month internet affair earlier last month-before he decided to leave-and had been planning to meet her in December. He still is on the computer until all hours. He stays off until our son goes to bed and also gives me several hours in the evening - My guess is that makes him feel he is making an attempt. I am soooo confused about this. I love this man, feel stupid because I do, want to spend my life with him - but know I cannot spend 2 years like this. I don't even know what to pray for right now. Does anyone have any suggestions to give me some peace or direction. Thank you

Kellidane....first of all I want to say I am sorry you are hurting.

First of all let me suggest to completely get rid of the computer. My wife and I did some very hurtful things on the computer that contributed to the destruction of our marriage. If I had it to do all over I would have NEVER purchased a computer to begin with. I was the one who broke the trust of my wife first. For me it led to 2 one time PA's. Your husband lives in a kind of fantasy world while he is on the computer with this OW. His hours on the computer is exactly what I did and it becomes an addiction.

Let me suggest two websites that I have found that will help you keep the faith in God and to help you pray for your husband and your marriage.

www.rejoiceministries.org
www.marriagehealing.org

Don't take a revengeful attitude no matter what. Revenge will only hurt your marriage worse. The thing you can pray is that God will enter your husbands heart and show him that you do love him. Ask god to intervene in your husbands thinking and to show him what he is doing is against gods will.

I am praying for you right now. I know first hand how the computer can destroy trust and destroy a marriage.

Love in Christ
cajunky

<small>[ September 10, 2002, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: cajunky ]</small>

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who helps us to pray when we don't know how to pray! I am praying for you and your husband, for the Lord to work a miracle in your marriage! God Bless.