As posted on the Infidelity board, I caught my SO viewing online porn. He has lied before about other things and goes out by himself on Sat. mornings and doesn't want me to go. I have a problem trusting him, but more so, that's all I think about! It is causing other problems, e.g. I get frustrated and mad at my infant son for no good reason, I blow up at my parents, and so on. I don't know how to handle this and am becoming a real basket case! I don't work, therefore, I can't afford counceling. If anyone could help me with some advice or some much needed prayer, I would appriciate it so very much! Thanks for reading, Orion

What you are doing - posting on this board is a good start. Just be aware that what you are feeling is quite typical to what others have felt in similar situations.

I know that doesn't make it easy to deal with - but the members of this board seem to be willing to support others in their times of need.

The fact that you are posting in Prayer Requests, tells me that you have at least sometimes talked to God about your problems. This is important.

Thought God rarely comes down with a magic wand and "fixes" things, this can be an important source of inner strength for you.

Keep your chin up and know that other people DO care.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Thank you so much! I have been praying about it actually, and I have found that I am not so quick to fight with SO, am more patient with my son, and my parents know about the deal, so they are helping as well. I think this will be a long term struggle, however. I don't want to leave this man, I love him. How many time have you heard that? But I refuse to stay and be treated like an idiot, if he is indeed cheating! I can excuse the porn, but not the lying. If he would have just came out and said to me that he was on a website that had porn on it, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But the fact that he hid it, and then when I asked him about it, he lied. That is what I can't get over!!! What else is he lying about? That's what goes through my mind. Now, when ever he goes to sleep or walks out of the house, I check his wallet, cell phone, the computer, etc. I am constantly checking up on him. I don't like to, but what choice do I have? I obviously can't trust what he says, or we wouldn't be in this mess. About the breakfast thing, he hasn't went since I confronted him about it. What do you think that means? He use to go every weekend, but no more. He just sleeps in with me and our son, or gets up and just makes breakfast. WEIRD!!! Anyway, thanks for reading this. More or less just venting.

Orion

You do have the right to expet honesty in your marriage. I have no advice to give except feel free to post and vent on this board. Someone here has been through similar situations.

That's great that you want to keep your marriage and that you love your husband. Most of us on this board have opted to do the same - despite the betrayls & such.

Perhapse there may still be a way you could talk to your H about your feelings. Often phrasing communications in the "me" format can seem less threatning and less likely to cause an argument

What I mean - - instead of "You did this and it hurt me" - - - use "This makes me feel hurt" - - or - - I feel like . . . .

In this way you are describing YOUR feelings not HIS shortcomings. This seems to work well for us when initiating communications.

Hope this helps - - don't be afraid to stop back by.

Strive

<small>[ October 14, 2002, 07:46 AM: Message edited by: strive ]</small>