I rarely post, but I could really use some insight on my situation.

I'm divorced, over 2 years now. I've been seperated from my husband over 3 years.

During the first 2+ years, the Lord truly broke me and I began to walk WITH the Lord, probably for the first time in my Christian life. I can honestly say, that it took this terrible trial in my life for me to see the Lord.

Now my dilema. I've been standing for my marriage to be restored. I'm not currently praying for restoration anymore, since I have completely lost my feelings of love for my former husband.

Most days I am ok with the fact that God removed him from us and that is how God wants it. I know that I am to lean on the Lord in ALL things and let Him be my husband and father to my child.

I have no communication w/ my former husband and he rarely see our child anymore. He lives in a different state and I'm sure is involved with someone new.

My question is this: Does there come a time when God releases you to stand for restoration? I'm sure in the beginning that He wanted me to stand, but I don't know if it was God or mine emotions.

I want to do what God wants me to do. For too long, I've done what I wanted to do. I just don't have it in me any longer. I'm ready to move forward with my life, but I don't want to be one of those whose spouse comes back years later and wants to reconilce and they tell them to get lost.

I REALLY need some help on this. I know I shouldn't look at the circumstances; sometimes that is just impossible.

Please respond.

In Christ,

BILU

((ButILoveYou)): thanks for posting so we can pray for you.

Are you divorced? You mentioned being both D and separated so I was a little confused.

If you are divorced and it's been 2 years, my hunch is that the Lord is releasing you. You've been faithful to Him and He will continue to be faithful to you.

It must not be an easy road and there must be great loneliness but He is with you and has used this pain to strengthen you. May He use you to strengthen others, too.

Is your question really about whether it's OK to look for another relationship now that time has passed or is it simply looking for release from waiting?

Lord, I pray You will direct BILU in Your paths. Thank You for her love for You. Be her comfort and guide her into Your perfect will. Open her eyes to ways she might serve You most effectively. Restore the years the locust has eaten and renew her joy. Let her experience the depth and fullness (at least in the measure we can know here on earth) of Your unconditional love. Giving You thanks in advance because Your power is awesome beyond measure. Amen.

Hugs to you, BILU

Freshstart,

Thank you so much for your reply.

Yes, I am divorced; over 2 years. We were seperated about 1 1/2 years before the divorced went through.

I'm having such a hard time with this. All the restoration websites, all the things I read, and all the things I know about God tell me that I should wait for my husband.

I know that God is capable of restoring my marriage and love for my husband, I'm just not sure anymore if that is God's plan. I'm so confused on this issue and I'm so very, very tired of it all. Tired of thinking about it, tired of waiting, tired of talking about it!

It makes me angry at times that my thoughts won't let it be.

I'm not interested in another relationship right now (at least there in noone I'm interested in right now) and yes, I would like to *feel* released from all of this.

For the last 4 years I just feel like I've been in some sort of jail, not knowing what to do.

I'm sorry. I'm just so sad and so tired. And worst of all, I know that he is on the way to hell without the Lord, and I don't even have the energy to pray for him anymore.

Thank you again for your reply. Thank you for the prayer, as well. May the Lord richly bless you.

In Christ,
BILU