I have done some lovebusting before I found this forum and sometimes it is still hard not to because he tries to challenge me on everything. He chose the divorce and he knows that I wanted the marriage to work and was willing to do whatever it takes. Will that make a difference to him if he ever wakes up?<P>AD

AD,<P>I have no way of predicting what your husband will do or how he will remember the past months. But if he ever does wake up, then treating him with kindness and love right now can only help.<P>While he is in the midst of his affair, he's thinking about everything possible to justify his terrible actions to you (explains his anger towards you). So that means that any Plan A'ing that you do will pretty much go unnoticed. But if and when he does come out of the fog, he'll surely remember that you were nothing but nice to him. <P>Committing love-busting behavior will have the opposite effect that you intend -- it will more than likely drive him closer to the OW. Now some people will tell you that they had success by the "tough love" approach, but I think that can sometimes back-fire.<P>I read your other question too, and I have no idea how long it takes for betrayers to feel remorse for their actions. Some probably never do. I felt remorse almost from the beginning, and I was pretty much depressed throughout my emotional affair because I knew how much it would hurt my wife when she found out. That didn't stop me from loving the OW though.<P>take care and Happy Thanksgiving,<BR>--andy