I guess I am not going to have a perfect Christmas after all.

Tonight H and I found out that our D who just turned 16 tried to cut herself with a knife earlier this week--a kid at school called her "handicapped" because of her poor coordination--they are studying social dance in gym.

I could really use prayer for our family. H is devestated.

I feel kind of lost. I interrupted my husband's ministry by my sin--God restored it but there are roadblocks to his being re-ordained in a new denomination. We feel called to street ministry but love our current church. And is it a safe idea to minister to street people when our own child is in need? It's an idea that's been on hold.

My confidence is not shaken totally. I know I am fatigued from work. I'm just not sure what to do next.

Our other daughter is in trouble for not getting homework done but the school offers no solutions and the 2 most annoyed teachers are blatant in their dislike of 13D.

Thanks for letting me vent and thanks for prayers.

I think God is telling me to slow down. Pray that I can, please. I need to be with my kids.

God gave me an awesome afternoon--my friend who is suffering severe health problems is going to church on Sunday. He is beside himself with joy. It is so evident that God is at work healing him.

I know He will bring healing to all of us on this board, too.

Thanks again.

Father God, I thank You that You are opening F.S.'s eyes to Your plan for their lives. I thank You for the great plans that You have for them. I thank You for the work that You are going to do in and thru her D's Lord. Her D has cut herself to try to relieve the pain that she has felt, but we know that this is a lie and a trick of the enemy, so we pray together that You would open the eyes of this young girl to see that only in You can she be relieved of pains and hurts. I pray Lord that You would renew this family in a mighty flood of Your presence. May they be known as a family that walks with God.
In the blessed, mighty and powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Knight, thank you. You always seem to be around when I need comfort and encouragement.

I really don't understand this self-mutilation thing kids are into--16 has been disgusted by friends who have done this in the past. So to hear her say, I did it to relax from the pain, makes no sense to me.

She is a good and godly girl. She was suicidal when I first confessed (we never have disclosed to our girls what happened but they must have some understanding--they know the man we thought was Mom's friend turned out to be a very bad man--that was all we could handle telling them and of course, they know it turned our lives upside down-so I don't kid myself that they know nothing)
Anyway, 16 rededicated her life to Christ a couple months after d-day and has been doing so well.

I am exhausted today and have to go help deliver Christmas hampers. I just want to stay home and rest up and go take the kids shopping in the afternoon.

16 seemed OK after youth but we are keeping a close eye on her.

Bless you, brother. How is your W's health with her pregnancy?

Thanks again for your prayers.

Hi Fresshie,

I'm sorry to hear that things are rough for you right now. Remember to rely on the Lord. One of my mentors is having me memorize Ps 34, you may want to read it.

My W's health is recovering from brochitis right now. It seems as if the bolimia has really knocked her immune system for a loop. But also, as you know she also went thru a self mutilation phase and was in the psych ward for a while. She seems to have stabilized a lot since then, being on meds and all. Having the Drs figure out which meds work best is a trial in itself since each one reacts differently in each person, so they have to play around a bit to get the right combo that works for the individual. And as far as the self mutilation goes she explained it as she needed to feel pain from somewhere since she "deserved it" so she resorted to giving herself pain. I don't know the answers but I know the Lord is bringing her thru.

God Bless,
knight

Hey FS, I pray for your daughter as well, this is a very difficult thing to understand. My niece went through this the past two summers. She has cuts all up and down her arms. She doesn't want to kill herself, but they seem to feel so unworthy that they think this will help them feel better? Doesn't make any sense to me, I don't ever remember anyone doing that when I was her age, must be something this generation has somehow picked up on.
We need to pray for your daughters protection. The Lord will never leave her or forsake her, don't forget that. The devil is trying to have his way with her and he tried to destroy your family once, and since he was unsuccesful with you, he's now attempting to use your daughter. Don't let him take any part of your family !

Lord I lift this family up to You, You know the plans You have for them. I come against any attempts of the enemy to destroy that plan. In Jesus name, Lord Bless this family, I ask you to cover them in the Blood that was shed for each one, I pray a hedge of protection around them, keep them safe in your shelter o Lord. Open the eyes of the children to see that the enemy is at work and keep them strong in You Jesus. I pray in your awesome and powerful name, Jesus, Amen!

Blessings to you FS.
Love in Christ, SW

Stillwaiting, thanks for your prayers, too.

16 is on meds again. I guess that is my other issue--God healed me of depression this year so now why is my D suffering with an even worse form of it? I agree Satan is out to take down Christian families and that must be part of it.

I am hoping the break from school will be helpful. And that the Holy Spirit will speak to 16 and she will receive healing, too.

Thanks again to both of you and to others who have been praying for us.

Freshstart,
I know that raising teenagers is hard-hard to know what to say and do. And at times hard to remember what it felt like at that age. Sometimes I think that the pain of rejection isn't alot differant than it is at our age. We think that we handle it better-do we? Why do we break friendships and marriages? Hmm.
If you feel that the Lord is leading you to help in the streets-let him lead. There is such a need for ministry in this area, and in an accepting, loving and non-threatening arena.
Perhaps God is allowing this to happen in your daughters life so you can realize how devestating this would be for a young person who did not have a christian influence to help.
I don't know. Keep open to God's word as I know that you have been and SLOW DOWN. We all need rest and reguvination to do what we need to in this life.
God Bless your work!

Ezra, thank you. I am so tired tonight. I think it's the emotionalism that surrounds Christmas. And I feel so lost about God's will for my work life. Does He want me to stay in my job where I am losing my joy? Does He want me to re-focus and face the challenges? Does He want me to change gears again and work in a more non-Christian environment? Does He have a ministry for me to pursue on my own (as one of my deepest dreams is to become a speaker and travel and write?)

16 had a great weekend. We had some awesome talks and she is off visiting friends today. I know she is still hanging in there spiritually as she is concerned about her best friend who has decided "to take a break from being a Christian for a couple months." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Her friend has much deeper struggles than 16 faces.

It's nice to have the holidays and I just found out that I get the same 3 days off in the middle of the week next week, too so it means I have some time to spend with H and my girls. They grow up too fast and it seems like I should grow wiser but sometimes I grow more in lack of wisdom! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Blessings to you.

Hi Freshstart,

I pray that you and your family will receive the help you need.

As far as your 13year old is concerned, have you asked to have your D transfered to different instructors? School is hard enough without having have teachers with an attitude. Have you voiced a complaint to the principle? If no success their how about the superintendant of schools? I am fortunate that my kids instructors have been very good and when their is an issue they want to know what they can do to help. They also provide suggestions that may work to help with the problem.

Years ago, my sister had problems with an instructor. I had the same problem with this same instructor. The difference, I have a more pushy personality and would hunt the teacher down for help. She once commented to my mom about it. My moms responce was, why weren't you in the class room where you belong. According to my daughter you are in the cooking class room snacking and chatting with the cooking instructor. Well, she didn't say another word about it. Now, my sister comes along, same problem. This time, my mom took it to the principle. My mom also related how the same thing happened when I was in her class. After that, the teacher stayed in the class room, same with the following year when she had our other sister.

I'm guessing you may have already addressed this issue to the instructors supervisor, but if not, here is a suggestion. I am not one to complain about teachers, but if they are not doing their job, I will complain. It is their job. If I was not doing my job, my coworkers would complain.

I do believe that Prayer and god helps. I also believe that we sometimes have to take action ourselves.

Hi, SueWithHope..nice to hear from you.

Thanks for your insights. The trouble is it is a small school and even if I had 13 transferred out of "Logos" (free Christian school in the public school systme), she would still have one or both of those teachers in any case.

There are some politics involved, I believe. The one teacher belongs to our former denomination and knows we resigned from ministry (but not why. I think she is a little harder on 13 because of it. She also is a "yell-er" and sadly, in our home there have been times of yelling in frustration at 16 (rarely at 13)--13 copes by withdrawing and retreating--something physically impossible in school. You raise a good point as we have been trying to get the nerve up to tell Teacher 1 this is directly related to 13's seeming non-compliance. If she can't cope with you, she will tune you out as safely as she can.
(The good news is there is far less yelling in our house as 16 settles down).

Teacher 2 is quite young and seems to also have it in for me. Her face will lose its smile and turn to a scowl at the sight of me. Not people react to me that way and I find that hard to take.

Both teachers are Christians and even if they weren't, prayer certainly does help--I agree. We need to pray for further wisdom.

My kids are 2 different people--16 has a learning disability and resents the need for help--13 is capable of straight As (or close to it)and never asks for help or never accepts help offered. Maybe they aren't that different, after all?

Thanks again for your prayers and your valuable input.

<small>[ December 26, 2002, 11:46 AM: Message edited by: freshstart ]</small>

Hi,

Being in a smaller school does make it harder. As far as teacher 1 goes, your reasons for leaving the ministry are of no concern to her, you and your H have some very good reasons. It has nothing to do with leaving faith in god. There is a big difference between the two.

Good luck and I will keep praying