Hello,

I'm so glad I found this site. I don't know who to talk to or what to do. My husband of a year and a half has been cheated on by so many women in the past that he is convinced that I cheat on him. I would never do such a thing. He spends every day analyzing every little thing I do and say. Even though I haven't cheated on him, I'm a nervous wreck about every little thing I do. He also accuses me of taking his money all the time and stashing it. I gave him the bank statements to show him where all our money goes but he still insists that I have thousands of dollars hid from him somewhere. He is constantly putting me down telling me how stupid or homely I am, screams and cusses at me when he gets angry. Once it his anger got so bad that he started hitting me. Several times he has threatened to kill me. He is also addicted to pornography. He has been suggesting having a third party involved in our sexual relationship (I hope its ok for me to talk about this stuff) By the way, he does go to church and sais he is a christian. He blames me for all this other stuff saying that something I did lead him to be that way.

Well, I guess I have blown you all away with this one. The bottom line is, I love my husband so much and I don't want to lose him. He told me last night that he wants a divorce. I know that at one time he was a Godly man. How can I get that person back? Please everyone pray for us.

Liza

Well it sounds to me like he is very frustrated at himself and wants to blame everyone else for his problems.
I have started reading Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie O'martian they have the same for the wife available it has ben very helpful. Here is some of the stuff I gleaned form the book.

If we have faith that God can save our eternal soul through Jesus Christ, shouldn’t we also have faith that He can save our marriage and supply whatever is lacking? My answer is that He can do it!

I believe it is God’s will that our marriage be reconciled. I started out praying the usual prayer “Lord change her”. Well I have come to realize it is not a matter of who needs to change it is a matter of who is willing. I have sought God and I am willing to change. Therefore, God can work through me and now I am committing my life to pray for God to work on us both.

I cannot give my life literally but I can give my life on the altar of prayer. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (St John 15:13)

His word tells us “Husbands love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it” (Eph 5:25) and “ But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God (1st Cor 11:3) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.(1 Peter 3:7)

The power of praying is not the means for gaining control over her. He wants us to let him control us. When we humble ourselves and let him control us then he can work through us. God wants to work through us so we can intercede for our spouse.

The power in prayer is God’s. When I pray for my wife I inviting God to exercise his power in her life. My prayer enables her to better hear God’s voice and respond to his leading. However, God will never override a persons strong will. If anyone is determined to live outside of God’s will he will let that person do it.

So, although my prayers have the potential to be powerful in her life, there is a limit they can accomplish if her, or my will is opposed to the will of God. “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

It is not a matter of how much you pray but the Bible does say “He who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully shall reap bountifully” (2 Cor 9:6) Men always ought to always pray and not to faint (Luke 18:1) It is my job to pray and it is God’s job to answer. I want to trust him to do his job.

God created marriage in the beginning and Satan has tried to destroy ever since. My wife and I were created in his image. Satan wants to makes us over in to his. He does not want our marriage to succeed and in fact has set up a plan for destruction. But thank be to God we have been given the power and authority to stop this through prayer. If God wants us to pray for our enemies then how much does he want us to pray for the ones we love and with whom we are become one with.

But first I need to pray for myself. Get my heart right before God.

I hope you find this to help!



If he is still going to church then there is hope try interceding for him.

The following site will give you hope and information about letting God restore your marriage. www.restorem.org

gentle

Hi Chaney,

Thank you so much for your reply. I have committed myself to trusting God with my marriage and everything else in my life. Can He save my marriage if only one of us is willing to let Him have control? I spoke to my husband on the phone last night (he works out of state) and I've been trying to get it through to him that divorce isn't the solution and that we need to seek Gods will and stay in prayer and above all have faith and trust in Him. I know that He can work all this out if we just abide in him and stay faithful and stay in prayer. But my husband thinks that since we haven't been the faithful obedient christians that we should be in the past that it would be hypocritical of us to do so now. I have recommitted myself to staying in Gods word, praying, and spending more time with the Lord each day because I know the reason why things have been so rotten in the past is because we both have failed to be faithful. I just can't get my husband to do the same. I guess the only thing I can do is pray for him and trust God with my marriage.

One big mistake I have made is letting myself get into heated arguments with him. All we have been doing is trying to figure out whose fault everything is. Everything I try to talk to him about that I think he is doing wrong, he sais I did something to cause him to act that way. And I have been guilty of the same thing. So we wind up in a big argument where all we do is blame everything on eachother. I try my best to stay calm and talk about things but it seems like everytime I open my mouth he gets mad at what I have to say. He just doesn't care about how I feal about anything. A pastor that I know sais that you should do everything you can to avoid getting into heated arguments. So I have tried to stay out of these kind of arguments by hanging up on him or just walking away. Then he thinks I just don't care about anything.

Well, I guess I've unloaded enough on you today. I really appreciate everyon's input and prayers.

God Bless

Liza